The Nudity of Haruhi Suzumiya
by Alfonso Ling
Summary: In honor of her 18th birthday, the SOS Brigade's youngest member and intrepid leader, Haruhi Suzumiya, decides that the adult girls of the brigade need new uniforms. After considering the options, she has an epiphany. What could possibly top the uniforms provided by nature? A few fun M-rated stories exaggerating Haruhi's exhibitionist tendencies. Yuri alert in chapters 1 & 7!
1. The Girls' New Uniforms

**Author's Notes: **

**You've gotta be kidding me! Somebody wrote a story titled "The Nudity of Haruhi Suzumiya"! What is the world coming to? Let me explain, dear reader.  
**

**This story was inspired by my reading of a few Haruhi Suzumiya doujinshi a friend sent me. Those piqued my interest so I found others. Though "doujinshi" literally refers to self-published comics of all sorts, the word has become synonymous with Japanese adult comics. These HS doujin were no exception, depicting my favorite characters in some pretty crazy sexual situations. Most made me want to gag, but some were surprisingly good - great art, an interesting and/or touching plot, and (my favorite) humorous. So I felt inspired to write a few funny doujin-type stories of my own. No, they're not great literature by any means. But I tried to make them fun.**

**Here are some spoiler-free chapter/story notes (each chapter is like a story):**

**Chapter 1 was my first HS doujin-style story attempt. I tried to make it sexy, fast-paced, over-the-top, and fun, although some long-term story elements started forming toward the end (i.e. Natsume). It's around 3000 words. Note: It's the only one with a little bit of yuri.**

**Chapter 2 wasn't quite as doujiny but I still think I'd enjoy reading a comic of this one. It's also about 3000 words.**

**Chapter 3 kind of took off on me. It started fine but then the characters ran off and decided to have an adventure. That happens some times when I write. Kyon has a silly goal and I love the way Haruhi helps him try to achieve it. This one ballooned to nearly 10,000 words but it was a blast to write.**

**Chapter 4 was actually the end of Chapter 3. But that chapter was getting so long I decided to split it up. This reverts back to the doujin theme depicting a three-way many have probably imagined.**

**Chapter 5, well I don't know what I was thinking here. The storyteller in me took over and created this more "plot heavy" chapter. It clocked in near 14,000 words and it's probably my favorite of the bunch, though Chapter 3 is a very close second.**

**Yes, these stories are all rated M! Like most doujinshi. Please don't read it if you don't like M stories. That's why there are ratings. And I know this is the type of story you might read during lunch on your PC or iPad or smartphone - after you make sure nobody is looking over your shoulder. Still I welcome your reviews and PMs. Please let me know which chapters you like best. I'd love to know. Thanks!  
**

**- Al Ling**

* * *

**The Nudity of Haruhi Suzumiya**

by Alfonso Ling

**Chapter 1 - The Girls' New Uniforms**

After a crazy day of school, I was loaded down with homework and I wanted to go home. But I knew Haruhi would throw a fit if I did. Today was the big day. A week had elapsed since the club's youngest member, Haruhi Suzumiya, proudly turned eighteen, achieving adult status. Today, in honor of that milestone, Haruhi was going to unveil the new outfits she'd designed for the Brigade's three adult female members. To me, eighteen was just another year. But for Haruhi it was a really big deal. So I decided to go to the SOS Brigade club room to see what Haruhi's nutty mind came up with to honor the occasion.

I knew if I got there right after class, I'd be standing in the hallway for a while as the girls changed, so I took a quick detour through the school library. I spent about fifteen minutes leafing through some magazines. As I did, I couldn't help but feel I was being watched. When I turned quickly toward the eyes that were staring at me, the very pretty girl to whom the eyes belonged ducked behind the bookshelf. I slowly walked in the girl's direction, but she disappeared around the corner.

Whatever. It was probably just my imagination.

I looked at my watch and decided it was time to head to the club room. The girls would be dressed by now. Although it was a long walk - the club room was on the other side of campus from the library - classes were over and there wouldn't be many students to dodge. I made it to the SOS Brigade headquarters in good time.

When I turned the doorknob, however, I was surprised to find it was still locked. I knocked on the door a couple times.

"Who is it?" came Haruhi's voice.

"It's me, Kyon." I said. "Why is the door locked? Are you girls still changing into those hot new SOS Brigade outfits?"

"We're already changed," Haruhi said. "But the outfits I've chosen are for SOS Brigade member's eyes only, so I locked the door. Is there anybody else out there? Is Koizumi with you?"

I looked up and down the hall. I was alone. "Nope. It's just me. Koizumi isn't here either."

I heard the lock disengage and the door was slowly pulled open a few inches. I could see Mikuru's shy eyes peeking out at me.

"I'm really all alone," I said. "Just like I told you."

"Okay," Mikuru replied with a tiny voice.

Mikuru hid behind the door as it opened all the way and I stepped inside. As usual I looked over toward Haruhi's desk. Our Brigade leader was there with her arms across her chest, looking over the monitor. I noticed immediately that her shoulders were bare. I thought she was wearing her bunny costume again, but then I noticed there were no stockings on her legs. Or socks. Or shoes.

"What are you looking at?" Haruhi asked, noticing I was trying to figure out what was going on.

"I'm trying to figure out your outfit," I said, moving my head from side to side. "But I don't see any fabric." I bent down to peek under her desk. Haruhi crossed her legs. And I still didn't see any fabric. "Hey. Are you naked?" I finally asked her.

"Yep," Haruhi replied. "I couldn't think of anything good for us to wear. Then it struck me. Who needs an outfit? You know, we're the only creatures on the planet that feel like we need to cover ourselves up all the time. It makes no sense."

I nodded. I had to admit there was a certain logic to what she said.

"And now that we've got three _adult_ women in this club who all look really good naked," she continued, "what the heck? What's keeping us from just wearing our birthday suits? When you think about it, it really is the best outfit of all!"

I moved my gaze over to Nagato, who was sitting in her chair with her book in her lap. She was naked. Immediately I spun around toward Mikuru. She was standing at the door, one arm crossed over her breasts, the other hand reaching down between her legs covering her private area. She was blushing and squealed as I took in the magnificent view.

"Oh don't be such a prude," Haruhi said. "Be proud of the outfit nature gave you. Put your hands behind your back. Let Kyon appreciate _all _of your natural beauty."

Mikuru was on the verge of tears. "But Miss Suzumiya..."

"Do it or I'll come over there with handcuffs!"

Mikuru dropped her arms to her sides and slowly moved her hands behind her back. The naked Mikuru was beautiful! I immediately got an erection. Haruhi noticed the large tent that formed in my pants right away. Mikuru noticed it, too. She squealed and stepped away, blushing even more profusely than she already was.

"I was afraid something like this was going to happen. I suppose it'll take a few days for you guys to adjust." Haruhi got up and walked toward me. She looked fantastic, too, as her breasts bounced in time with her steps. Seeing her gorgeous unobstructed naked body instantly doubled the angle of my erection.

"Take it out," Haruhi said as she gently tapped the top of the tent. I lowered my zipper and allowed the tent post to spring out into the open.

Haruhi got down on her knees in front of me. "Watch closely Mikuru. This is what you do when one of the guys reacts to our new outfits." Haruhi took hold of my shaft and licked it. "Sex is a no-no." Haruhi pointed up to a new sign taped to the wall that read _No Sex Allowed_. "No SOS Brigade members are getting pregnant while I'm the leader. However, we will make a special allowance for oral sex if one of the guys develops, ahem, _problems._" She turned to Mikuru. "Now watch closely."

Haruhi lowered her mouth over my shaft and ran her tongue under the head. Then she started bobbing up and down on me, expertly stimulating my massive erection. It felt terrific! It didn't take long before I was squirting a load of hot sticky semen into her mouth. Haruhi swallowed it all down with a smile.

"That's how it's done," she said proudly as she got up. "Since you're the club mascot, Mikuru, you're going to be in charge of taming."

"Taming?" Mikuru asked.

"Yeah. Taming the guys' erections until they get used to us this way. Like what I just did for Kyon."

"But he's so big!"

"Just do what I did. Open really wide. If I can do it, you can do it."

"Okay," she replied meekly. Mikuru looked so sad and innocent, standing there all naked and beautiful and embarrassed, nervously staring at my sagging shaft. "I'll do my best." When she said that my shaft bounced right up, getting hard instantly.

"Dammit, Kyon!" Haruhi said. "Can't you control yourself?"

I shrugged as I looked down at my manhood, now standing fully at attention.

"I guess it's okay... Mikuru! Take care of Kyon. You saw how to do it, right?"

"Yes." Mikuru slowly moved toward me and got on her knees in front of me. She licked my shaft a little and then cautiously put her lips around the tip. Then she opened wide with nervous eyes and enveloped me. It took a moment for her to get her bearings, but soon Mikuru's tongue found it's home around the bottom of my cock. When I flashed her the thumbs up sign, I could see the smile in her eyes. It didn't take long before Mikuru found her groove and started bobbing up and down on me the same way Haruhi had. It felt fantastic and I moaned loudly to show her how much I appreciated her efforts. I was soon shooting yet another load of semen into a very hot naked girl's mouth.

Mikuru giggled as she swallowed it all down. "Wow. That was fun!" she said. "And your stuff doesn't taste bad at all!" Mikuru lifted me and gently kissed each of my balls. She looked up at me and smiled. I looked back down at her with a loving and very satisfied expression of my own. Naturally, after a couple seconds, my eyes wandered to her beautiful large breasts. The bashful Mikuru got up and instinctively covered herself by crossing her arms and squeezing her breasts into her chest. Then the blushing beauty placed one knee in front of the other and pressed her legs together tightly.

"Mikuru!" Haruhi yelled, glancing up from the computer monitor. "What did I tell you about covering yourself? Don't by shy. Be proud. You have a fantastic body!"

"I can't Miss Suzumiya. It just doesn't feel right. Can I please get dressed?"

Haruhi stood up and shook her head as she approached the frightened girl. "On the table!"

"What?" Mikuru asked.

"Get on the table!" Haruhi insisted. Mikuru sat on the table. "Now lay back." Mikuru obeyed Haruhi's order. "I had a feeling something like this would happen. Put your arms out to the sides."

Haruhi walked to the closet and returned with several lengths of rope. In less than five minutes Mikuru was tightly tied to the table. She looked exactly like the letter "H", her flexible legs spread wide open like a cheerleader doing a split along the table's far edge.

"An hour or two tied up like this should help you overcome that modesty." Then Haruhi knelt down with her back to the door and looked directly into Mikuru's vagina. "You know, Mikuru, you've got a really pretty pussy." The helpless girl just whimpered. A sly smile crossed Haruhi's face. "It's really not fair for Kyon to have all the fun!" Haruhi extended the tip of her tongue and slowly moved it toward Mikuru's clitoris.

"EEEEEEE!" Mikuru screamed when Haruhi's tongue hit the mark. "OOOHHHHH!" At first Mikuru struggled in vain like she'd been hit by an electric shock. But as Haruhi's dexterous tongue moved around and over her sensitive nub, that changed. Mikuru was soon gasping for air and arching her back as the pleasurable sensations provided by Haruhi's tongue began to fry her circuits.

Haruhi stopped. "Wait," she said. "Yuki hasn't gotten any action yet. That's not fair either." Haruhi stood up. Nagato looked away from her book toward the leader. "Would you like to give it a try, Yuki?"

Nagato nodded.

"No! Please! No!" Mikuru shouted. I wasn't sure if she was upset that Haruhi stopped or if she was uncomfortable with the idea of Nagato taking over.

Haruhi, assuming the latter, reached forward and pinched Mikuru's right nipple - hard!

"OWWW!" Mikuru yelped.

"You really don't deserve an orgasm," Haruhi said, "the way you're acting. And you're being very rude to Yuki. Now she feels left out." Haruhi walked back toward her desk. "Would you like to do me instead?" Haruhi asked Nagato.

Nagato nodded.

Haruhi walked over to the window and put her hands on the sill. She bent forward, spread her ankles, and arched her back. Nagato put down her book and knelt down behind the Brigade leader. She took hold of Haruhi's thighs and, with tongue extended, slowly moved her mouth towards Haruhi's firm bare bottom.

"Oh my! That's so gooooooood!" Haruhi gasped as Nagato got to work on the Brigade leader's vagina. "You're _amazing_, Yuki!"

"Wow!" I said as I watched the two gorgeous naked girls go at it. I was super hard once again. But I had nowhere to go with my erection this time! It looked like I was never going to be able to put this thing back into my pants! Haruhi and Yuki were busy getting it on, and Mikuru was unable to manage her taming duties since she was now tied to the table!

I considered taking care of business myself, but then I looked down at Mikuru. "Hey Mikuru," I said as I easily slid two fingers inside of her very wet vagina. "Would you mind?"

Mikuru lifted her head and looked down between her breasts at my rigid shaft. "I guess it's okay," she said with a sweet smile. "At this point it really can't get any more embarrassing for me."

"Cool. Thanks." I moved forward and slid myself inside her. Mikuru's vagina gripped me as I rocked my hips back and forth.

At the same time, Haruhi was looking out the window and moaning loudly as Nagato stimulated her clitoris from behind. Haruhi was so into her own little world of bliss that she didn't notice Mikuru's moans of pleasure as I violated her on the other side of the room.

"YESSSSS!" Haruhi shuddered with pleasure as multiple orgasms rocked her world. While several feet away on the other side of the club room...

"YESSSSS!" Mikuru came hard as I emptied myself into her pulsating love canal.

Haruhi fell to her knees after succuming to Nagato's supernatural oral skills, while I collapsed on top of Mikuru. I worked to catch my breath, my rock hard shaft still safe and warm inside her.

"Hey! What are you two doing?" Haruhi asked. She was now standing beside us, arms crossed, with that patented look of disappointment on her face. "I take my eyes off of you guys for five minutes and you're having sex!" She pointed to the _No Sex Allowed_ sign. "I told you that wasn't allowed." Haruhi shook her head. Then she sat down on the table, her bare bum pushed up to Mikuru's hip. She fondled Mikuru's breasts as she spoke.

"Well, I guess it was worth a try. I figured we'd be able to manage a little more self-control, though. But I suppose the temptation is just too great when you've got three hot naked girls and a stud like Kyon in the room. I think I may need to rethink this whole thing." Haruhi nodded to me and pointed to Mikuru bound wrists. Getting the message, I removed the ropes holding Mikuru down on the table.

Haruhi hopped off the desk and walked to the closet. She pulled Mikuru's and Yuki's sailor suits out of it and tossed their clothes to them. I put my manhood away and watched with sorrow as three hot naked girls morphed into three hot fully-dressed girls. As the three adjusted their skirts, there was another knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Haruhi asked.

"Koizumi. And I've got a very special friend with me."

Mikuru opened the door. Koizumi and his friend entered the room. Koizumi looked around. "I thought you were all going to be wearing new outfits," he said. "I wanted Natsume to see."

"Oh that," answered Haruhi. "The outfit idea didn't work out today. But I'll think of something soon. Who's your friend?"

"I'd like to introduce Natsume," Koizumi said. "I just met her. She claims she's a time traveler so I thought you'd all like to meet her."

It was that very pretty girl I saw not long ago in the library! She had those same, amazing, sparkling eyes. There was something so familiar about them.

Koizumi pointed to the back of the room first. "That's Miss Suzumiya, the SOS Brigade leader." Haruhi waved. "And that's Miss Nagato."

I got up and stood next to Mikuru, extending my hand to welcome this lovely girl to the room.

Koizumi introduced us, "And this is Mikuru Asahina and Kyon."

Natsume rushed right up to us, wrapped her arms around us, and hugged us together, tightly.

"Mom! Dad! I can't believe it's really you! You look so young!"


	2. Haruhi and Kyon vs The Clock

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**The Nudity of Haruhi Suzumiya**

by Alfonso Ling

**Chapter 2 - Haruhi and Kyon vs. The Clock**

When I got to home room the next day, Haruhi looked very melancholic.

"What's up?" I asked. "You look sad."

"I'm kind of bummed about yesterday. My outfit idea really crashed and burned. It really pisses me off."

"I thought it was a great idea," I told her. "You all really do look fantastic without your clothes on."

"Maybe we look _too _good," Haruhi replied. She smacked me on the arm. "It would have helped if you could have kept it in your pants. That's when all the trouble started."

"Hey, I was just reacting. I have no control over my erections. They just happen. If you weren't such a babe I might have been able to manage."

Haruhi shook her head while trying her best to suppress a smile. "Idiot," she finally said. Then her face turned to a frown. "Hey, wasn't it Mikuru's naked body that started you off?"

"That's because you were sitting at your desk. You had your arms crossed over your boobs and the monitor covered the rest of you." Haruhi nodded. I could tell she was buying my explanation. "But when you got up and walked toward me, my cock definitely rose up a few notches."

Haruhi's frown softened. "Yes, it did. I noticed that. It made me really want to blow you, you know that?"

"Nothing in the world gets me going like seeing you naked," I told the now-smiling girl. "And thanks for that blowjob, by the way. I don't think I properly thanked you yesterday. You really give fantastic head."

Haruhi's eyes lit up and she grabbed my arm. "You wanna know who really gives fantastic head? Nagato! She was amazing! I must have come twenty times rapid fire! She was _so_ good!"

"I noticed you collapsed to your knees when she was finished," I said. "You really looked spent."

"You noticed me collapsing? With your big cock deep inside of Mikuru!"

Uh-oh. Why did she have to get back to that? I was doing so well.

"And what's up with that girl claiming to be your daughter showing up like that? What a sick practical joke." Haruhi frowned again. "Although it was a heck of coincidence her showing up right after you filled Mikuru up to the hilt with your love juice." Haruhi moved her head a little from side to side as she stared into my eyes. "And the other thing that's freaky is that she could totally pass for your and Mikuru's daughter. She's totally got your eyes, you know."

"It was a pretty bad joke," I said, trying to veer the conversation toward our cover story. "Koizumi admitted he and Natsume were just playing a practical joke on us."

"But how did Koizumi know you and Mikuru were fucking?"

"He and Natsume were waiting right outside the door for a little while. He heard the sounds of me and Mikuru getting it on since we were right on the other side of the door. He was polite and waited till the noises stopped before he knocked." I pointed at my Brigade leader. "At first he thought it was me and you getting it on. You really are noisy when you're having sex, Haruhi!"

Haruhi blushed. "I know. I can't help myself. And with Yuki, the queen of cunnilingus, working on my clit what was I gonna do? I guess I'm like you in that department. It's just a reacting thing!"

"Maybe I could ask Yuki for a blowjob some time," I said. "Then we could see if she's just as good with guys."

"No way. From now on you're only getting blowjobs from me." Haruhi crossed her arms. "Yuki is off limits. And I don't trust you with Mikuru. If I don't keep you two apart, you'll get her pregnant for sure."

"Why not Yuki?"

"I'll be honest, Kyon. Her oral skills are kind of intimidating. I'm afraid if she blows you, you'll never be happy with one of my blowjobs again."

"Impossible," I replied. "You're very good. I couldn't imagine anybody sucking my cock as well as you."

Haruhi smiled proudly. "Thanks, Kyon. That's sweet." She looked around the room a bit. "Hey, would you like a blowjob right now?"

"Sure!" My face lit up. "I wouldn't mind it a bit! But you can't blow me here in home room."

"No, of course not." Haruhi looked up at the clock. "We still have fifteen minutes before class starts. Let's go find a place to play!"

Haruhi got up, took my hand, and pulled me out of the classroom. We walked rapidly down the hall but there just didn't seem to be anyplace where Haruhi and I could have some privacy. The SOS Brigade club room was on the other side of campus, way too far away considering our limited time.

Then Haruhi had an idea. "How about in here?" she said as we passed the library door.

"But there are _always_ people in the library."

"Only to study. The librarian doesn't come in till second period. We could hide behind the counter."

Haruhi grabbed my arm and ran me over toward the circulation desk. After grabbing a magazine off of the rack, she led me behind the counter. "Okay, Kyon." She put the magazine down. "Pretend you're reading. I'll sneak under the counter where nobody can see me. This'll be fun. Everyone will be able to see you, but no one will suspect that you're getting sucked off."

"Okay," I said as I glanced out toward the five or six people studying quietly at the tables.

I stood behind the counter, pretending to read my magazine, while Haruhi snuck beneath it. Once she was settled on her knees, she lowered my zipper and pulled out my cock. It hardened instantly in the open air. She licked it up one side and down the other. I opened my palms and steadied myself on the counter, anticipating something incredible.

"Breakfast time!" Haruhi chirped with a cute giggle.

Haruhi opened wide and enveloped my shaft. She took it all the way down to her throat. Then she started bobbing up and down on me with a nice slow rhythm, moving her tongue from side to side under the head as she did.

"Oh boy!" I gripped the magazine as the first wave of pleasure hit me, crumpling it in my hands. Haruhi's technique was exceptional. I felt like I was in heaven! Though I tried to resist, I was fast approaching orgasm.

Just then Taniguchi walked up to me out of nowhere.

"Hey buddy. What are you doing here?" His eyebrows furled when he noticed my location. "And why are you behind the counter? With your belly pressed up against the edge like that? Are you hiding something?"

"Actually I've got my cock out and Suzumiya" - I tapped my finger on the counter - "is underneath here giving me the best blowjob of my life." I rolled my eyes and gripped the magazine even more tightly as Haruhi turned up the oral juice. "Oh boy," I said again.

Taniguchi gave me a strange look. Then he started laughing. "Good one, Kyon. You're a funny man!" He looked at his watch. "Tell Suzumiya she better hurry. First period starts in five minutes."

"Haruhi is very good at this," I told him. "I really don't think I'll be able to hold out much longer. I don't think time will be an issue at this point. So if you'll please excuse me while I come…"

Taniguchi shook his head. "You've got a very perverted sense of humor, Kyon. I think spending all that time with that club has done something to your head. Later dude!" And with that he turned and walked toward the exit, joining several other students heading off to class.

It only took about thirty seconds for Haruhi to overcome my willpower - I couldn't hold back any more. "Ahhhhhhh!" I said, as I emptied the contents of my cock into Haruhi's soft warm mouth. "Ohhhhhhhh! Yessss!" I held onto the counter. My knees were feeling weak as wave after wave of pleasure rocked my world.

Finally, after nearly filling Haruhi's mouth with my cum, the intensity of my orgasm subsided. It took me a moment to get my balance back. I heard Haruhi giggle between swallows as she gulped it all down. I stepped back and looked underneath the counter. Haruhi looked up at me with a pleased smile.

"How was that?" she asked as I put myself back into my pants.

"I couldn't imagine Yuki doing me better than that!" I looked around. Since first period was about to start, all of the students had cleared out of the library. "You can come out now. The coast is clear."

"Okay," Haruhi replied. She deftly slid out into the open and I helped her stand up next to me. Haruhi shifted uncomfortably and reached down between her legs. "Darn. My panties are all wet. I'm so horny right now I'm gonna blow a gasket!"

"We really don't have time for sex," I said, pointing to the clock.

Haruhi was extremely frustrated. Then her eyes lit up as she looked over at the wall. "The hell we don't!" She ran over toward the bright red fire alarm and reached for the handle.

"NO HARUHI!" I yelled. "DON'T!"

Haruhi turned to me with angry and desperate eyes. She looked like she wanted to punch me in the mouth.

"Come on, Kyon!"

I looked around behind the librarian station and found what I was looking for - a plastic bag. I grabbed it and ran it over to Haruhi.

"Put this over your hand before you pull," I said. "These alarms squirt out blue ink that doesn't wash off. If you don't cover your hand, you'll get caught for sure. And you'll probably get expelled."

Haruhi's angry face changed into one of gratitude. "Thanks, Kyon. You really saved my ass." She put the bag over her hand and pulled down hard on the alarm handle. Sure enough, blue ink squirted all over the bag as the sirens started wailing.

"You know that only gives us ten or fifteen minutes." I patted my package. "And I just came - a ton! I don't know if I can be ready for you that quickly."

"I've got that covered," Haruhi said, as she unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. Then she stepped out of her skirt. "Nothing turns you on like the sight of my naked body, right?" I nodded with my mouth wide open as her bra and panties hit the floor. "Besides, I hate having sex with my clothes on. It gets them all messy."

Haruhi, now naked but for her shoes and socks, walked up to me and rubbed my package - which was still aching a bit from my last exploit. She undid my belt and pulled my pants and boxer shorts down past my knees. Then the naked Brigade leader took my cock into her mouth once again.

Looking down at Haruhi kneeling before me, fully naked from her knees up, with my cock in her mouth - well it did the trick just like Haruhi knew it would. I was rock hard in seconds. Haruhi quickly got up and cleared a couple stacks of overdue books off of a nearby table with a swing of her arm. They crashed onto the floor in a disheveled pile. She bent forward, pressing her breasts into the table. Then she spread her legs and rested her head on her arms.

I rubbed my hand over her firm bare bottom. "So this is the ass I just saved!"

"Yep. And it's all yours," Haruhi said as she wiggled it. "Now hurry up and fuck me already! We're running out of time!"

I obeyed my cranky Brigade leader. Haruhi gasped as I filled her to the hilt with my impressive manhood. As usual, the girl moaned very loudly as I pumped her from behind. It was a good thing we were alone and all the students were outside or her expressions of appreciation would have gotten us caught for sure.

I bent forward and took hold of her fantastic breasts. "Yes Kyon! Yes Kyon! Yes Kyon! YESSSSSSSSS!" Haruhi said as she moved her hips toward mine with a quickening rhythm. "Fuck me deep, Kyon! DEEP!"

As the loyal first member, I did as my Brigade leader instructed, pushing myself into her as far as I could go. Haruhi started to shiver and she arched her back. I could feel her pussy pulsating. She was about to come - hard!

"AAAAEEEEEEHHHHHHH!" she screamed as her pussy gripped me tight.

"AHHHHH!" I replied in a much more reserved and muted way than Haruhi - any response I came up with would have been - as I started filling her up with my cum. Haruhi squirmed, wiggled and writhed in ecstasy for quite a while. Each pulse of my cock seemed to hit her like a sledgehammer of bliss.

Finally, when our orgasms subsided, she spread out her arms and collapsed, her head turned, her cheek resting on the table. I was completely spent as well, and I collapsed down on top of her. We stayed like that for several minutes as we slowly caught our breaths.

"That really hit the spot," Haruhi said as she resumed breathing peacefully. "I can feel you softening inside me. It's nice."

"Hey!" came an unexpected voice from the door. We turned to see a fireman rushing into the library toward us, dressed in his red fireman's outfit, holding an axe. He was a young guy and he had a very concerned look on his face. "Are you two okay? I heard screams." Soon he was standing right up at the counter, looking down at us with a shocked expression. I quickly pulled out of Haruhi and pulled up my pants.

A dazed Haruhi slowly pushed herself up off the table and turned toward the voice. "Hi," she said as she waved at the disbelieving young man.

"So this is the source of all the heat, huh?" His eyes bulged a bit as he took in Haruhi's fantastic unclothed body. "Wow!"

"I'm sorry," Haruhi told the man shyly, hips shifted to the side, arms behind her back. "I was just really, really horny and Kyon and I needed a private place to, you know, do our thing. Will we get in trouble for this?"

"Initiating a false alarm is a serious offense Ma'am." The fireman adjusted his pants and shifted uncomfortably as he said this. I knew why.

Haruhi did, too. She winked at the man. "If I helped you with that problem, would you consider helping us with ours?"

"Well…" the man said. "You didn't really hurt anything, and I was just up the street."

Haruhi motioned for him to get to the other side of the counter. The fireman jogged back quickly and dropped his pants.

"Oh boy," the man sighed as this gorgeous naked girl took yet another rigid shaft into her talented mouth.

As Haruhi worked to get us out of trouble, I put the stacks of books back up onto the table - the table that I had just fucked Haruhi on. Then I put away the magazine.

"WHOOOAAAA! WOW!" the fireman said, as he pumped Haruhi's mouth full of his own special brand of fire fighting fluid.

Haruhi swallowed it all down with a smile. She gently put the man's cock back into his pants and zipped him up. "Are we good?" she asked as she patted him.

"Oh yeah," the fireman said. "We're _very_ good. Now get dressed and get out of here before somebody else shows up!"

Haruhi smiled sweetly as she quickly put her clothes back on.

"Thanks, Mr. Fireman," a fully-dressed Haruhi said sixty seconds later. She adjusted her belt. "I'll never do it again. Thanks for letting us off with a warning." She walked past the man and patted his package a couple more times as she walked by him toward the door. I followed her out.

"You're one lucky bastard, Kyon," the fireman said as I passed him. "That girl's got some _serious _talent."

I nodded in agreement. "Thanks," I said.

We stepped out into the hallway hand in hand. By this time all the North High students were starting to enter the building again so we dropped our hands, reverting to Brigade leader and number one member mode.

"That was pretty crazy," Haruhi said. "Good thing I was naked or he probably wouldn't have gone for the blowjob deal."

"I think it's a sign," I replied. "Good things seem to happen when you're naked. Maybe you should reconsider the whole natural outfit thing."

Haruhi thought about it for a moment. "You know what, Kyon. You're right. Nature's clothing really is the best. From now on, that's gonna be the official SOS Brigade leader's uniform."

"What about Mikuru and Yuki?" I asked.

She smacked me on the shoulder. "Sorry chum. Mikuru and Yuki are gonna stay dressed - in something else. I still haven't figured out what they're gonna wear, though."

I smiled. This was looking like it was going to be a fantastic day. I was really looking forward to coming to the SOS Brigade club room today after classes ended.


	3. The Third Hole

.

**The Nudity of Haruhi Suzumiya**

by Alfonso Ling

**Chapter 3 - The Third Hole**

I really wasn't thinking when I opened the door to the SOS Brigade club room. I assumed it was going to be locked. But when I turned the knob and pushed, the door swung wide open.

"It would be nice if you knocked," Haruhi said from behind her desk. "You know, to make sure I was decent." Our Brigade leader had her arms crossed over her chest and her legs crossed.

"Oh, sorry." I closed the door quickly. "I figured you'd lock the door if you were naked." I peeked around the monitor. "Are you?"

"Of course I'm naked!" Haruhi replied. She extended her legs to show me her bare feet. "Didn't I explain about the new SOS Brigade leader's uniform? Or did I suck your brain cells out along with your cum when I blew you this morning?"

"Why didn't you lock the door?"

"Too much hassle. I hate having to get up all the time."

I looked around the club room. So far Haruhi was the only person with me. "Where is everybody?" I walked over to my seat at the table and sat down.

"I told everyone there wasn't going to be a club meeting today. I wasn't completely sure about my natural uniform idea, even with only me wearing it now. I figured I should test it out first - with just you. Since _you _always seem to be the problem!"

"Huh? _I'm_ the problem?" I was incredulous, as Haruhi could tell from my expression and the tone of my voice.

Haruhi got up and walked toward me. "I need to be honest with you Kyon." She sat down on the table to my right facing me and crossed her legs. "I'm really psyched about my naked leader idea, but I just don't know if it can work with you in the room. When it's just me, Yuki and Mikuru in our birthday suits there's no problem. Unlike you, they don't immediately want to jump me!"

"Are you sure?" I asked.

Haruhi pointed at my chest. "_You_ are the problem here, Kyon!"

"That's not fair," I replied. "If you didn't look so incredibly hot with your clothes off, it would be easy." I pointed at her chest. "But just look at those tits!" Then at her bum. "And that perfect ass! And these legs!" I ran my hand over Haruhi's thigh. "What do you expect from me? I'm just a guy."

"I have to have faith that we're more than just animals, Kyon. That we can overcome this need to give in to our lusts all the time. You should be able to adapt to me being naked."

"I don't think you're being realistic."

Haruhi thought about what I said and sighed. Then she uncrossed her legs and spread her knees, giving me an awesome view of her pussy. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I _am_ being unrealistic. I have to be honest, I get such a charge out of getting you hard…," she giggled, "and then sucking you off. It's one of my favorite things in the world!" Haruhi moved her bare foot between my legs and ran her big toe up and down my zipper, right over the fabric covering my rock hard cock.

"But I don't want to give up on this idea just yet, so let's do a test," she said. She jumped off of the desk and got back into her seat at the Brigade leader's desk. "Try not to think about fucking me for the next fifteen minutes, and I'll try not to think about sucking you off. Let's just see how that goes."

"Okay," I replied. "I'll try."

Haruhi squeezed her breasts together. "I really don't want to give this uniform up. It's so darn comfortable! But I will if I have to."

I reached for a book in my backpack. "It's no problem. We can do this. I'm just going to do some homework now. I'll be fine." I opened the book, took a deep breath, and tried to focus on the text in front of me. And I tried my best not to look over at Haruhi.

But it was hard! Very hard! Yes, you know what I'm talking about - I was hard!

But I tried to focus on the book. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried to concentrate, I couldn't stop thinking about Haruhi's early morning blowjob and our sex session right after it. And you know what was strange? The more I thought about those two events, the more something about them seriously bothered me. Something was missing.

Then it hit me. "Hey Haruhi, do you believe in completion?"

Haruhi looked over her monitor. "What does _that_ mean?"

"You know. Going full circle. Completing the course. Going three for three. Batting a thousand. That type of thing."

Haruhi thought about it for a minute. "Well, yeah. I suppose you should finish what you start."

"Here's the thing," I said. "This morning you sucked me off and then I fucked you. Remember?"

"Of course I remember you idiot! I was there!"

"Well... I don't feel like we're really finished - and it's a very uncomfortable feeling. It occurred to me that there's still one hole I haven't fucked yet."

"You want to fuck me in the ass?" Haruhi asked.

"Yeah. I think I need to. To feel complete. Don't you feel the same way?"

"Not really. I haven't really thought about it." She rested her head on her hands and peered over the monitor. "It's really not a big deal for me. I'm fine with what we did."

"Well I don't really feel right knowing that there's none of my cum in your bum."

"Hey, that rhymes! Cum… Bum..." Haruhi smiled, which was a very good sign. But then she took a deep breath and shook her head. "Look Kyon, I don't think I'm really in the mood to be fucked up the ass right now. I've got a lot of work to do. We weren't going to talk about sex, remember? Focus on your homework."

I wasn't giving up that easily. "Remember when you said that your ass was mine after I saved it this morning?"

"It was just a figure of speech, Kyon. It's still my ass."

"Well you said it was mine. That must mean something."

"It just meant that my ass was yours just then. In the library. Because you saved me from getting expelled. Not now. Not here."

"So if we go to the library, will your ass belong to me again?"

Haruhi sighed. Then a thin smile crossed her lips again. I could tell her defenses were weakening. "Sure. I suppose it's fair that you own my ass for the rest of the day. But that only applies in the library. We're in the club room now."

"Where's the logic in that?" I asked. "Why do we have to be in the library? You're naked. Your ass is mine for the day. Why this new library rule? Why can't we just do it right now?"

"Because I really don't want your cock in my ass at the moment. I have work to do." Haruhi put down her mouse and crossed her arms over her chest. "Besides, we're not in the library. It's either the library or nothing." Haruhi shook her head. "Kyon, just focus on your homework, dammit!"

"Okay then. Let's go to the library." I was absolutely not giving up. "The circulation desk is closing in ten minutes. We can sneak behind the counter again."

"Then make me!" a frustrated Haruhi shouted.

"Darn it, Haruhi! You can be so difficult!"

"No, I'm serious Kyon. Make me. Use your imagination. You know me. Make up a game or something. If you can make it fun and original, I'll play. But if you just want to bend me over the table like some _ordinary _guy, and fuck me up the ass, forget it!"

I thought about that for a minute. Haruhi was right. The way to attract to attract bees is with honey. The way to motivate this girl was to offer her something creative and original and fun. Not some boring quickie. But what in the world could I devise with such short notice?

For inspiration, I walked over to the closet. I noticed the box of props left over from the movie we made last summer. I searched through it. This had potential. I knew I wouldn't need much to satisfy Haruhi's imagination. I just had to present a challenge, and a good story, and it had to be fun for her. If I did that, she'd play.

I pulled some funny looking glasses from the box. Naah. That was out.

Then I found Yuki's witch costume and a wand. I could pretend to be a magician and put a spell on Haruhi… Naah. Totally lame!

Then I pulled out a badge. A police officer's badge. I could pretend to arrest her. Now that had potential.

But there weren't any cuffs! And she'd just laugh if I showed her a badge and told her she was under arrest. I needed something better...

I pulled out a black plastic gun - that was good. It looked kind of real. I could point it at her. That, and the badge...

Was it enough?

Well, Haruhi said she wanted to play. I was fairly confident that if I came up to her with the badge and the gun and pretended to be a cop, she'd play along - at least for a little while. But I knew that game would burn out quickly. If I could come up with some cuffs, though, _I'd have it made!_

But I didn't have any cuffs! Dammit! I was so close.

I noticed a thin brown fifteen foot extension cord sitting on an upper shelf. I thought about tying Haruhi's hands behind her back with it after I arrested her, but that was really lame. She'd never go for it. Cops used cuffs, not extension cords.

Then my mind took me back to yesterday's SOS Brigade meeting when Haruhi threatened to put handcuffs on Mikuru if she didn't stop covering herself.

_Haruhi had handcuffs!_

I knew it! She wouldn't bluff about something like that. And if she had them, they would almost certainly be in her desk drawer.

This was going to work! YES!

I knew Haruhi better than anyone, and I knew my game would tweak her imagination. This was actually going to work! My heart was racing at a hundred miles per hour. I turned toward Haruhi, who was back to ignoring me and surfing the Internet.

"Hands up!" I said, pointing the plastic gun at her. "Police!"

Haruhi smirked at first. "That's not a real gun."

"Hands up! High!" Then I flashed her my badge.

Haruhi gave me a sly smile. "Okay, you're trying. I'll give you credit for that." She shook her head and sighed. "Let's see where this goes." She turned toward me and put up her hands.

"Stand up! Put your hands on the window sill! Now!"

Haruhi complied, turning toward the window, bending forward, and placing her hands on the sill. "Are you arresting me, Officer?" She playfully wiggled her bum.

Perfect! Haruhi was getting into character. I was in! But now I had to keep it going.

"You got it!" I walked over to her and pulled her arms behind her back. She stood there quietly with her wrists crossed on her back as I rummaged through her desk drawer. Sure enough, the cuffs were there!

"Hey!" Haruhi's eyes opened wide with shock. "How did you know I had handcuffs in there?"

"You threatened to cuff Mikuru yesterday when she covered herself and I knew you weren't bluffing. You don't bluff about that kind of stuff."

"Nice." Haruhi giggled as I fastened the bracelets around her wrists. I could tell she was starting to have fun. Haruhi's expression changed to one of concern as she snapped back into character. "What did I do, Officer?"

"You set off a false fire alarm in the library."

Haruhi turned to me. "But Officer, I beat that rap! I paid my fine! Besides, my hands are clean! You can't prove anything!"

"You bribed a public servant. You offered him sexual favors in exchange for turning the other way."

"Yes. And I came through with those favors! And he _did _turn the other way!" Haruhi laughed. "In fact his cum is probably still in my digestive tract somewhere."

"You were sloppy, Ma'am. We found fingerprints on the bag. And we're going back to the library to see if they match yours." I reached up, pinched Haruhi's nipples between my thumb and index finger, and gently pulled the handcuffed girl toward me. "You're coming with me."

Haruhi looked shocked for a minute. "Wait a minute, Officer." She looked down at her naked body. "You're going to take me to the library - _like this?_"

"Yep."

"I'll run."

"I had a feeling you'd say that." I ran over to the closet and retrieved the extension cord. It looked like it would come in handy after all. I wrapped a loop around her neck and tied it off. The loop was small enough that it couldn't slip off her head, but big enough so it wouldn't choke her. The cord was long, but thin and light so I was pretty sure it wouldn't become too much of a nuisance. I tied the other end of the cord to my belt at the small of my back. "You're not running anywhere. You're sticking with me."

"Isn't this a little over-the-top?" Haruhi asked. "Leashing me like I was some sort of common slave."

"Too much?" I asked the frowning prisoner. I didn't want to do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable. But I knew Haruhi would tolerate a lot - if it was fun for her.

Haruhi shifted her shoulders and looked down at the extension cord. Then she tilted her head to the side and thought about it. Her frown slowly turned into a smile. "No, I guess it's not so bad. Being tied to you is actually kind of hot. I like where you're going with this, Kyon. If you get me to the library without anyone seeing me" - Haruhi turned and pushed her bare bottom into my crotch - "then you _deserve_ a good butt fuck."

I thought about bending her over table right then. But I knew Haruhi had committed to the game and I had to follow through. "I've got a pretty good idea of the route we can take. After we get past the club rooms without being seen, it should be smooth sailing. Everyone else will have gone home by now." I walked toward the door with my naked, cuffed prisoner in tow.

I peeked out the door to see if there was anybody in the hallway. Though I could hear noises coming from some of the club rooms, their doors were all shut. The coast was clear.

I was just about to head out the door when I remembered something from a movie. It was about some military operation and the general running it said that it was always important to have a Plan B. If I was going to get this hot naked girl to the library unseen and untouched, I was going to have to be super careful. And I needed a solid Plan B.

I walked over to the closet with Haruhi still in tow. "What are you doing?" she asked. She wasn't used to being pulled around by the neck but she adapted quickly by staying close behind me.

"I'm thinking I should take along Nagato's witch outfit from the movie. You know, that black robe. That way, if we get caught I can cover you up in a hurry." I was about three feet from the closet door when I felt a strong tug on my belt. Haruhi was pulling me back. I turned to face her. Haruhi was bent forward, the cord tensed against the back of her neck, and she was slowly stepping backwards pulling me away from the closet door. I asked her, "Don't you think we should have a Plan B?" I let her pull me back a few steps.

Haruhi moved toward me and straightened. "No Kyon! That's too easy an out. It would take most of the fun out of it for me. I want you to take me like this!"

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yep. And I want you take off your jacket, too."

"But why?"

"Remember what you said this morning?"

I smiled. "Sure. I said you give fantastic blow jobs."

"No, not that, dummy! The other thing."

"Oh, you mean about how good things seem to happen when you're naked."

"That's right. Well I still believe that."

I smiled and took off my coat and my tie. "You really are something else, Haruhi Suzumiya!"

"_I'm_ something else, huh? Should we now notice how that comment is coming from a guy who made all this up so he can take me to the library and fuck me in the butt?"

It was this moment that reminded me why I loved Haruhi as much as I did. And why she loved me. We were made for each other.

I walked her over to the door. Haruhi followed close behind.

"Wait here," I said. "I'm going to scout the hall." I untied the extension cord from my belt. Then I looped it at Haruhi's eye level to a coat hook by the door so my prisoner would not escape.

Haruhi smiled as she watched me tie the knot. "Just one more thing before we get back into game mode." Haruhi stepped up to me and kissed me on the lips. "That's for luck."

I held the naked girl tight and kissed her back. "We don't have to do this," I said as I held her in my arms.

Haruhi looked me in the eyes. "You're getting my ass to that library, Officer - and that's final!"

I ran out the door, down the hall, and toward the steps. I was looking around for places to hide should somebody chance upon us. I was pretty confident we could make it to the stairway and down the steps without being seen. If we were lucky, none of the club room doors would open. Once we were down the steps, we would be reasonably safe. Also, there was an overhead pipe underneath the steps that I could tie Haruhi to so she wouldn't escape. There was a good chance my prisoner wouldn't try to escape considering her current state of vulnerability. But with a girl like Haruhi Suzumiya as my prisoner, there was an even better chance that she would try. I wasn't taking any chances.

I ran back to the SOS club room and stepped through the door. Still tethered to the coat hook, Haruhi was patiently waiting for me.

"I'm innocent," she said. "You can't do this. I have rights!" I loved how she was getting back into character.

"Fuck your rights!" I said like a really tough cop.

"No. Fuck my ass," Haruhi replied with a wink.

I groaned at her corny joke and started laughing, knocking me out of character. "Stop that!" I gave her a light swat on the butt.

"Sorry." Haruhi shrugged. "I couldn't resist."

I tied the cord back to my belt. "Come on. Let's bolt. We're going to try to make it to the bottom of the stairs and then we'll hide underneath the stairwell."

"Piece of cake," Haruhi replied.

I opened the door. The coast was clear. So we ran!

We had to run about a hundred feet before we got to the stairs. As we passed the club rooms, we could hear the people talking inside. Fortunately no one chose to step into the hall as we dashed past their door. The stairwell was also clear and we made it down the stairs without any problems.

Haruhi and I were laughing and breathing hard while we stopped to catch our breath underneath the steps.

"That was about as much fun as I've ever had - with my clothes on," I said.

"Speak for yourself," Haruhi replied.

I peeked out under the steps. Haruhi moved up behind me. I could feel her breath on my neck and her breasts pressing into my back.

"Okay. I need to go scout out the next segment."

"Do you know where we're going?" Haruhi asked.

"Not really. I'm going to scout ahead to find out."

Haruhi nodded. "I kind of figured that was your plan." She stepped back to the wall and pushed her bare bottom into it. "You know, my bum is already tingling in anticipation. I don't know if I'm going to be able to hold out to the library."

"We'll be strong for each other," I said, as I tied Haruhi's extension cord leash to the overhead pipe.

"Okay." She nodded. Then she looked up at the pipe. "Don't you trust me, Officer?"

I shook my head. "Not really, Ma'am. You're a fugitive after all."

She giggled. "That's smart."

I left the girl and went to scout out the next segment. It was funny, but making that first dash made me realize just how important luck was going to be. Anybody could have popped out into the hallway at any time. And the library was on the other side of campus. I was going to need a _lot _of luck. Then again, luck favored the prepared. I had to take my scouting seriously.

I walked down the hall and checked each door. All the classrooms were locked. This was not good. I knew that the most likely place for us to be spotted was in a hallway. These corridors were long and there was no place to hide. It would help to have a doorway or two to duck into if we heard somebody.

My goal for this segment was to get Haruhi halfway to the swimming pool. From there we could cut across through the cafeteria, and from the cafeteria it was a clear shot to the library. I really needed to find a good hiding point between here and there. I knew there was no way I could get Haruhi from the stairwell all the way to the pool access corridor without being seen.

I was starting to get discouraged, when one of the doors opened! I stepped inside. It was the room used for English courses and it was perfect. I checked a few other doors further down the hall but they were all locked. The English class would have to do. I turned and checked my line of sight to the stairwell - the stairwell under which my cuffed naked prisoner stood. I was getting hard again thinking about it.

Then, to my horror I saw some feet. A couple girls were walking down those stairs. What if they turned?

Fortunately, once they reached the bottom of the steps they strode out into the hallway and walked toward me. Suddenly I got the chills. What if these girls had turned back and found Haruhi? I'd be sunk! I didn't like the idea of leaving her, but considering the game we were playing, I had no choice. I was a cop and she was my prisoner.

Once again, I realized I was going to need a lot of luck.

When I got back to the stairwell, Haruhi was still there, patiently waiting for me to return. "Did you miss me?" I asked her.

"Yes, Officer. I sort of did. I got a little bit of a rush when those two girls came down the stairs."

I pointed down the hallway. "I want to make it to the English classroom next. The room is unlocked. From there we'll head to the pool."

"Yes, sir, Mr. Policeman!"

I untied the cord from the pipes and tied it back to my belt.

"Ready?" Haruhi nodded. I peeked out the door and checked the hallway. It was clear. Then I turned and gave her left breast a firm squeeze. "That's for luck," I said. "Let's go!"

Haruhi and I dashed down the hall. We were just about to the classroom when we heard a door rattling. It was one of the locked doors we just passed, and somebody was coming out of it! I quickly turned the doorknob, hoping we could rush in and avoid whoever was stepping out into the hallway behind us. But the doorknob wouldn't turn! I looked up at the sign above the door. It was the wrong classroom! I had one more door to go!

By this time that other classroom door was starting to swing open. The conversation of the people leaving that room suddenly got much louder. Haruhi and I were now standing in front of the correct English classroom. I was able to get to the door open and we dove in just milliseconds before we were spotted.

"Wow," Haruhi said. "That was kind of close, Officer."

I turned to my prisoner. "No problem. I had it covered."

Haruhi just shook her head. I, however, was actually feeling more confident. This was Haruhi Suzumiya standing next to me, and good things happened when she was naked. If I was careful to do my part, I was becoming convinced this lucky charm would take care of the rest.

"Okay. A quick sprint and a right turn down the corridor and we'll be in the pool access corridor. I need to do some quick scouting."

I looked around the classroom for something to tie Haruhi to. But there wasn't a thing.

"Looks like I'll be escaping soon," Haruhi teased.

"Not on my watch, Ma'am." I walked my prisoner over to the teacher's desk by the chalkboard and had her lay on her side. Then I tied several loops of cord around her ankles and pulled her cuffs back until they were right on top of those loops. This forced Haruhi to arch her back in a rather extreme way and made it impossible for her to reach the knots. Haruhi was easily flexible enough to handle the position, though, and it looked great.

"This is kind of embarrassing," the totally helpless girl said. "In fact it's a little bit obscene."

"You're already naked with your hands cuffed behind your back. This isn't that much worse, is it?"

Haruhi giggled. "It sure feels worse." I ran my hand between Haruhi's legs and slid my finger into her pussy. She was quite wet. Haruhi moaned and struggled lightly. "You've got your finger inside me and I can't run, or move, or kick you. I can't do anything!" I ran my other hand over her breasts, which were thrust out very sexily with her back arched as much as it was. "This is wild," Haruhi gasped, enjoying the sensation. "You know, you really should tie me up like this more often when we play."

"Okay. I will. Now don't go anywhere."

Haruhi gave me that you're-an-idiot look and said, "Yes, Officer."

I stepped out of the classroom and checked the route to the next stop. We'd be making a right turn at a crossing, which doubled the chances of us being seen. But there was nobody in sight. The coast looked completely clear.

When I got back my naked and very tightly hogtied prisoner was still laying on her side, drawn like a bow ready to shoot an arrow. She was blushing.

"This is intense," she said. "When you left, I felt so exposed and vulnerable all alone in the room tied like this."

I rested my hand on her hip. "Do you want me to let you go?"

"Not yet. Tease me for a couple minutes first," Haruhi replied. "But keep your cock in your pants!"

Haruhi moaned as I ran my hands over her taut, sensitive body. Her nipples were hard and erect. She chirped when I flicked them with my tongue. I put my index finger up to her mouth. She closed her lips around it. I pulled it back and slid my moist finger over her chin, down her throat, between her breasts, over her belly and down toward her pussy where it made another entrance inside her. Haruhi shivered and let out the cutest squeal. She gasped when I massaged her engorged clit for a moment. I could tell she was on the edge. I had to be careful. I slid my finger a little further back and teased her ass hole.

"Is it still tingling with anticipation?"

Haruhi nodded. "A little. Care to fuck me now, sir?"

"In the library, Ma'am."

Haruhi laughed and nodded. "Okay, Officer. Better go check the hall again."

I followed her orders and peeked out the door. The coast was still clear. This segment was going to be a piece of cake.

I started removing the cords from Haruhi's ankles. "You know, Officer" she said. "I know it's not my place to tell you how to do your job, but you could have just used your handcuff key and cuffed me to a desk or something."

"Handcuff key?" I patted my pockets. "Whoops!"

Haruhi started laughing. "Nice work, Officer." She was loving it. After helping my prisoner get to her feet, I leashed her to my belt with the cord. We walked over to the doorway and prepared to run.

After rubbing Haruhi's bum for good luck, I said, "Let's go!"

Things looked good - at first. We were running down the hall and just about to make the right turn down the corridor when I heard the voices of some girls approaching from the left. "Damn," I said under my breath, bringing our sprint to a dead halt.

"I think they're from the cross country team," Haruhi said. "They'll be heading to the girl's locker room. They always get in late."

I had no choice. I ducked us into the first open exit I could find. It turned out to be the men's locker room. I had no idea what we would run into. The first thing I noticed after entering was the running showers.

The men's locker room was pretty standard. One very wide aisle in the center of the room led to a community shower. Three rows of lockers stood on either side of this aisle like tall metal walls creating narrow aisles that ran parallel to the main one. The path to the door that led to the swimming pool was directly opposite the showers. If we tried to take that path, we would almost certainly be seen by whoever was showering.

"I want to see who's in there," Haruhi said.

"But we'll get caught!"

"I don't know if that should count. Since I'm naked and the guy in the shower is naked, it's really a wash. We should only lose if a clothed person sees me." As always, there was a certain logic in what Haruhi said. "Besides Officer, maybe I could score another blowjob!"

"If you want to blow somebody, you can blow me!" I told my prisoner.

"No way buddy. You're not getting anything till we're in the library!"

I knew Haruhi wasn't serious, but I peeked around the locker to see who was in there for the heck of it. I was surprised to see Itsuki Koizumi showering, naked as the day he was born!

Koizumi noticed me right away. "Kyon!" he said. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," I replied. I stepped out into the aisle.

"When Miss Suzumiya told me there wouldn't be a club meeting today, I decided I'd go for a swim. As you can see, I'm just rinsing off." Then he gave me a strange look. "Why is that cord connected to your belt?"

Haruhi stepped out into the aisle next to me. Koizumi's jaw nearly dropped to the floor when he saw the nude SOS Brigade leader at the other end of the cord.

"Kyon and I are playing a role playing game. He's the cop and I'm his prisoner. If he gets me to the library without anyone seeing me naked, he gets a prize."

By this time Koizumi's cock was hard as a rock. "I see," he said. "That sounds like fun. Does my viewing your naked body mean you've been seen?"

"No, of course not! You don't count," Haruhi replied. "You're a Brigade member!"

"That works out in Kyon's favor then." I could see Koizumi was getting a bit embarrassed now, standing there with his erection. But he had no idea what to do.

"I suppose it works out for you, too," Haruhi said, shaking her head like a disappointed mom. "Here, let me help you with that." Haruhi walked toward the showers with me in tow.

"Wait," I said. "This is risky! Someone else might come in."

"Please, Officer. As the SOS Brigade's leader it's my duty to help my team members when they're in need. I'm willing to take this risk."

I laughed. This girl was too much. Having been the recipient of Haruhi's rescues, I could hardly stand in the way when Koizumi was in need. "I understand," I said. I untied the cord from around her neck. "But don't you try to make a run for it. I'll be watching."

Haruhi nodded. Then she got on her knees in the shower in front of Koizumi.

"You're handcuffed?" Koizumi noticed for the first time.

Haruhi looked up at him. "Yeah, it's part of our game. So if you could give me a hand here." She opened her mouth wide. Koizumi got the hint and guided his rigid cock into Haruhi's mouth.

Normally I'd be jealous in this situation. But witnessing the two of them getting it on was actually kind of hot. I'm not gay, but Koizumi wasn't a bad looking naked guy. He was very well endowed, almost as well as me. It made me curious about the list of qualifications Haruhi had for the men in her Brigade.

Watching the warm water run off of Haruhi's gorgeous naked body as her head bobbed up and down on my fellow Brigade member actually turned out to be very pleasant to watch. Sort of like a real life porn movie with two very attractive actors.

Koizumi put his arms back against the shower wall to steady himself as his face scrunched up into his I'm-gonna-have-an-orgasm face. I heard Haruhi moan as a hard-breathing Koizumi started emptying himself into her mouth. Suddenly his foot slipped and he lost his balance for a second. His cock popped out of Haruhi's mouth and he started spraying cum all over her face, hair and breasts. When Koizumi's cock finally finished spraying, Haruhi was a mess.

"Oh my. I'm so sorry, Miss Suzumiya!"

Haruhi looked up wide-eyed, with cum all over her face. She started blinking, trying to get rid of some cum that got into her right eye. When the irritation was gone, she started laughing. "It's okay," she said. "If you're gonna come all over a girl, you can't pick a better place than the shower." Haruhi stood up. "I could use your help cleaning up."

Koizumi took his sponge and some shower gel and he meticulously washed all the cum off the Brigade leader's face and body. After handing me her soaking wet yellow hair band, he also put some of the shower gel through Haruhi's hair. He rubbed it in and rinsed it until Haruhi's locks were once again cum free and sparkling clean. I squeezed all the water I could out of her hair band and shoved it in my pocket.

We froze when we heard the locker room door open - then some voices!

"Swimmers," Koizumi said. "There were four of them out there when I came in - all guys." Haruhi's eyes were wide with fear. But Koizumi was calm and cool. He took Haruhi's arm. "Follow me." He led the wet girl off to the side toward his locker. I grabbed his towel off of the hook and followed them. Koizumi quickly opened his locker, pulled out his clothes, and helped Haruhi squeeze into it. It was a tight fit for the girl, but she managed. He closed the locker door on her less than a second before one of the swimmers turned down the aisle toward us.

"Kyon! Koizumi!" It was Taniguchi again! "What's up, guys?" Taniguchi was dripping wet and looking at us, standing there in his red swim trunks.

Koizumi finished drying himself and was now putting on his boxers. He nodded politely. "Hello."

"Hey dude," I greeted my friend. "I didn't know you were a swimmer."

"Yeah. Just getting a little exercise to clear the brain. I'm heading to the library next. I didn't do well on the midterms and I promised my folks I'd do better on the finals. So it's study, study, study! That's why you always see me over there, in case you wondered." He looked down at my hand. "What's the extension cord for?"

"I need it for my laptop," Koizumi said. "Kyon got it from the club room and met me here to give it to me."

We both heard some giggling from inside the locker. Darn that Haruhi!

"What was that?" Taniguchi asked. "It sounded like a girl."

"I didn't hear anything," I said.

"Me neither," said Koizumi.

Taniguchi shook his head. "Must be my imagination." He tossed his swim trunks into the bottom of his locker and pulled out his towel. "Later dudes." Then he walked off toward the showers to rinse.

After waiting a few seconds, I peeked around the row of lockers into the showers. All four guys were rinsing. "They're all showering now," I informed Koizumi.

Koizumi nodded and opened his locker door. A shivering and still wet Haruhi Suzumiya stepped out with a smile. "Four guys in the shower. Sounds like fun!"

Koizumi started drying her off with his towel. When he was satisfied that the Brigade leader was good and dry, Koizumi started to wrap the towel around her.

"Don't do that," Haruhi said quietly. "It's against the rules." Koizumi nodded and pulled the towel away.

"I don't think we have any time for more shower adventures," I said. "I've got to get you out of here." I looked down past the rows of lockers. "If we dash down this path, one of those four guys will see you for sure, though."

"Allow me," Koizumi said. "I'll divert their attention."

Haruhi and I nodded.

"Is anyone in the pool now?" I asked.

"No," Koizumi replied. "They were in the process of kicking us out. By now they've probably turned out the lights."

"I need to get my prisoner to the library," I said. "Do you think we can still cut across through there?"

Koizumi shrugged. "Sure. No problem. Watch your step, though. It's going to be dark."

"Okay then. We're off."

Koizumi nodded and headed over to the showers. "Excuse me gentlemen," he said. "But has anyone seen my student ID?" He pointed to the back wall. "I think I left it over there."

It was our cue. Haruhi and I walked quickly toward the door that led to the swimming pool. I opened and closed it as quietly as I could. Once we were safely through, we both smiled at each other and let out a sigh of relief.

North High's swimming facilities were very modern. The room was set up for swim meets. A set of bleachers at the far side of the hall ran along the edge of the Olympic sized swimming pool. As Koizumi warned us, the room was very dark since all the overhead lights were now shut down. The only lights still on were the submerged flood lights embedded in the pool's walls. It gave the room an eerie glow.

Haruhi flashed me a bright smile. "This game is a blast," she said. Then she looked down at the extension cord in my hands. "See you later, Copper!" And with that she ran off and jumped into the pool.

I walked up to the edge of the pool. "Haruhi! Dammit!"

The escaping prisoner looked up at me while treading water and gave me the sweetest, most mischievous smile. "You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you Officer?"

"It's been _easy _so far?" I asked. "Please get out of the pool."

Haruhi swam away from the edge. Even with her hands cuffed behind her back, Haruhi's powerful legs made getting around in the water a cinch. "Come in and get me!"

I had no choice. I got undressed, setting my clothes on the bleachers. Then I dove in naked after her. Despite her inability to use her arms, I still had a tough time catching up to my prisoner. "Darn it," she said playfully when I took hold of her arm. She didn't struggle as I dragged her back to the shallow end.

Once the depth of the pool allowed us to stand up with our heads out and the rest of our body submerged, Haruhi and I faced each other.

"Oh my," Haruhi said with raised eyebrows as the tip of my rock hard cock poked her in the belly.

"I want to fuck you so badly right now," I told my prisoner.

"And I want you to fuck me," Haruhi replied. "But lets get to the library first. Now that we know about this place we can come back here any time." It was Haruhi's turn to be strong.

It was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do, but I nodded in agreement. Damn I loved this girl. She could see it in my eyes. "We can make out for a few minutes, though, right?" I said.

"We can," Haruhi replied. "But that'll just make it that much harder to continue the game."

"Fuck it." I pulled Haruhi's body close and gave her a very respectable kiss.

Haruhi's eyes were blinking and her face was flushing when we pulled away from each other. "This is so hard!" She took a deep determined breath. Then she turned and swam toward the ladder. I helped her out of the pool, pushing on her bum as she moved up the rungs of the ladder since there was no way for her to hold the railing. Luckily there were a few discarded white towels on the bleachers. Though they were damp, I was able to dry myself and Haruhi off.

Once I was dressed, I looped the extension cord around Haruhi's neck and tied the other end back to my belt.

I told her my plan. "There's a short corridor, then we dash across a hallway to the cafeteria, then another hallway, and then we're at the library."

"Why are we taking all these detours?" Haruhi asked. "If we stick to the hallways, it would be much faster."

"Because we'd get caught for sure. The hallways are long and straight and there's no place to hide. This way is a little longer, but it's much safer."

Haruhi gave me a proud look. "Good thinking, Officer. I'm impressed with the way you're thinking this through."

"We can do this," I told my companion.

Haruhi nodded with a confident happy smile.

The side door led out through a narrow access corridor which led to the hallway we needed to navigate to get to the cafeteria. This rarely-used access corridor had been my previous goal, before the cross country girl's sidetracked us. Somehow we made it here via an unplanned alternate route.

When we got to the hallway, it was empty. I considered making a scouting trip to make sure the kitchen was empty, but there was nothing around I could tie Haruhi to. Leaving her hogtied on the corridor floor didn't seem like a good option, so I decided we should just make a run for it.

I squeezed Haruhi's right breast for luck. Haruhi shook her head again with that you're-an-idiot look.

"Hey, don't knock it," I said. "It's working!" Then... "Let's go!"

We made it to the kitchen with no problems. It was your typical large industrial sized kitchen filled with pots, pans, ovens, steel counters and freezers. When I peeked out through the serving access into the cafeteria I noticed a janitor mopping the floor. We would have to wait.

"I could offer him a blowjob," Haruhi joked. "If he pretended not to see us."

"That's okay. He's at the back of the room. He'll be done soon. And stop it with all the blowjob jokes already! You must be really horny."

Haruhi nodded. I could tell we'd have to wait about fifteen minutes and it wasn't fair to keep Haruhi on a leash that long just standing around. We couldn't do anything fun, so I decided to let her loose.

"If I take this off do you promise not to run?"

"Yes, I promise, Officer."

As I spied on the janitor, making sure he didn't double back here, Haruhi walked around and checked out the kitchen. She opened a few of the pantries and a couple of the freezers. It was sort of fun watching this uninhibited curious beauty explore the place with her hands cuffed behind her back and no clothes on.

Fifteen minutes later, it looked like the janitor was finally wringing out his mop for the last time. "I think he's done."

"Okay." Haruhi walked toward me and turned. She extended her cuffed hands and gave me a thick wad of folded paper towels. "Take this," she said, "and put it in your pocket."

I laughed. "Do you anticipate we'll be making a mess soon?"

Haruhi shrugged. "It's good to be prepared." I pocketed the towels.

With the janitor gone, I tied myself back to Haruhi and led her to the main cafeteria doors. I pushed the door open a crack and peeked out into the hallway. I could see the library doors from here. I was totally jazzed. My cock was already getting hard knowing that it might soon be in Haruhi's butt. I think Haruhi was getting excited, too.

"What are we waiting for?" she said. "There's nobody here." She was right. I walked her across the hall, keeping the cafeteria door propped open in case we needed to double back in a hurry.

When we got to the library's doors, there was an immediate problem. There was only one way in, and the path to the circulation desk led right past a table some students were using. There was absolutely no way I was going to be able to get Haruhi behind the counter without being spotted, especially now that I didn't have Koizumi around to create a diversion.

"I'll help you," Haruhi said. "Go in there and get everyone's attention, and I'll dash back behind the counter. I promise, I won't run."

I looked at her sideways.

"Come on, Kyon. You know how it goes. There's always that part in the movie toward the end where the prisoner and the cop start working together. Then the cop lets the prisoner go."

Haruhi had a point. That's the way most of these cop-with-prisoner stories ended. I had to trust her. I didn't have much choice.

"Besides," she wiggled her bum, "you _know _I want this."

I was sold. "Okay, I'm going to go to the far end of the library and make a commotion of some sort. I don't know what yet. But when everyone turns, you run back behind the circulation desk."

"Got it, boss." She looked up and down the empty hall. "You should hurry."

I nodded. I reached down and rubbed Haruhi's pussy for luck. Then I pushed the door open and walked quickly to the back of the library. What was I going to do? I had to think fast.

Then I saw it. One of the biggest books I've ever seen. It was a map book that must have weighed twenty pounds! I pulled it off the shelf and held it over my head. This would make a really nice big bang when it hit the tile floor.

I dropped it. "POW!" The force of the book hitting the the ground was like a shot out of a cannon.

"OUCH! MY FOOT!" I started hopping around. Everyone was looking at me. As I hopped and held my foot, Haruhi quickly pulled the door open with her cuffed hands and jogged over to the circulation desk. Once she ducked safely out of view behind the counter, my foot got better.

"Sorry everyone. I didn't mean to disturb your studies." I pretended to limp to the magazine rack, where I grabbed the first manga that attracted my attention. I hung out there a few minutes and read - until I was sure I was once again just a part of the background. Once everyone's noses were back in their books, I snuck back behind the circulation counter and joined my prisoner.

Haruhi was sitting with her legs crossed, in what was quickly becoming her favorite cubby hole.

"I can't believe we finally got here," I whispered. "Are you ready to do this?"

"Did you bring any lube?" Haruhi asked.

"Lube?"

"You can't just fuck a girl in the ass without some sort of lubrication, Kyon! How inconsiderate can you get?!"

"Oh shit. No. I totally forgot." I looked at her with panicked eyes. "Can't I just push my way in?"

"My ass doesn't get wet like my pussy does," Haruhi reminded me. "You wouldn't want to hurt me would you?"

I thought about that... But no, of course I wouldn't want to hurt Haruhi. The whole goal of this adventure was to have fun. That would be a rotten way to end it.

Haruhi sat quietly, letting me sweat bullets for a few minutes. I thought about suggesting regular sex, but I didn't come all this way for that!_ I came here to fuck Haruhi in the butt!_

Damn, I was pissed. There had to be a solution! There just had to be! I was about to pull out my service revolver and shoot myself in the head when Haruhi nudged me. "Check your pocket."

I pulled out the wad of paper towels she had given me in the kitchen. I noticed for the first time that there was something inside. I unwrapped the towel to see what this was. There were two small packages of butter wrapped in foil, each package enough to butter a roll. Although they probably started out frozen when Haruhi gave them to me, the pats had gotten all melted in my pocket by my body heat. I pulled back the foil from one of the squares and got some of the slippery, gooey stuff on my fingers. It was perfect!

"Butter yourself up and get to work," Haruhi said.

She turned and got into position. I noticed that while she waited for me, Haruhi was thinking ahead. She had managed to shift a few books around, creating a platform for each foot to stand on. When she bent over and stood on the books - with her strong shapely legs spread slightly past shoulder width - her tailbone pressed up against the bottom of the counter. Though it was a tight squeeze in there for the bent-over girl, by curling her back up against the bottom of the counter Haruhi had no problem balancing herself even though she was bound.

Also, the height of her beautiful firm ass was now perfect.

As I took in the magnificent view, I paused to marvel at what an amazing girl Haruhi Suzumiya was, and that she would go through all this trouble for me. Like the fireman had reminded me this morning, I really was a lucky bastard.

"What are you waiting for?" she said.

I pulled my erection out through my open zipper and coated it liberally with the butter. Then I took a healthy dab of the stuff and did the same with Haruhi's ass hole, which was soon looking back at me like a shiny little eyeball.

I gradually slid my large rigid cock into her very tight third hole. "Oh boy," I gasped. Haruhi squealed a little and adjusted her back as I slowly pushed myself inside her to the hilt - till my thighs were up against hers. I backed up a tad and got into a very slow and safe rhythm, adding more butter as I pumped her. Soon Haruhi and I were both fully greased and totally enjoying the anal sex.

Then, out of nowhere, Taniguchi walked up to me!

"Hey buddy. I see you're behind that counter again." I pushed myself deep into Haruhi and pressed my belly up against the counter so he couldn't see what was going on. "What brings you here this time, Kyon?"

"Well," I said. "Suzumiya is under here again." I knocked on the counter. "And my cock is currently deep inside her ass."

Taniguchi shook his head like I was an idiot. But he played along. "That's great. How does it feel in there, buddy boy?"

"It's actually really nice. Even nicer than I expected," I said. "Her ass is very tight, and it's nice and warm. I can't express in words how much I love the way it's gripping me right now."

"Did you remember to lubricate?" Taniguchi said. "You know girls don't produce any natural lubrication down there."

"Yeah. I used some butter."

Taniguchi sniffed the air. He gave me a crazy look when he thought he actually smelled the stuff. Then he shook his head. "Naah. It's just my imagination."

"Please excuse me," I told my inconvenient friend. "I'm about to come into this girl's butt and I'd appreciate some privacy."

"I'm telling you buddy. That club is screwing with your head." Taniguchi turned and walked away.

When he was safely out of sight, something came over me. I threw caution to the wind and I started pounding Haruhi's ass with a vengeance - I didn't care who noticed me! I was about to blow up and I needed this release very badly! Haruhi handled it just fine, like I knew she would, the subtle movement of her hips matching my increased rhythm.

It didn't take long before I started coming like a fire hose!

"Oh boy," I gasped, squeezing my eyes shut through the intensity of it all. Wave after wave of pleasure washed over me as I pumped Haruhi's third hole full of my cum. I planted my hands firmly on the counter to help maintain my balance as I pumped her hard, milking this orgasm for all it was worth. I had no idea how aroused this adventure with Haruhi had gotten me. But now that it was coming to a climax, it became apparent just how incredibly wound up I was!

When I finally came down from my peak, I felt totally relaxed and fulfilled. _Complete_ even.

I slowly pulled myself out of Haruhi's ass with a loud satisfied sigh. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see several of the seated students looking up at me. I waved and whispered "Sorry!" When they turned back to their studies, I sank down to the floor. I sat up against an adjacent desk and collapsed. Haruhi crawled out from under the counter and sat next to me.

"How was it?" she asked with bright excited eyes.

"Worth it," I replied. "_Totally_ worth it."

Haruhi rested her head on my shoulder. "I'm glad. You deserve it."

I put my arm around the naked girl and hugged her.

"So how do we get the handcuff key?" she asked. There was a hint of hope in her voice that the game would continue.

But I was spent. "I'm going to cover you up and we're going to walk to the club room."

Haruhi looked down with an expression of feigned disappointment. But she was okay with it.


	4. The Final Act

.

**The Nudity of Haruhi Suzumiya**

by Alfonso Ling

**Chapter 4 - The Final Act  
**

I had attained the goal. I achieved the sexual trifecta. I had fucked Haruhi's ass and it was amazing!

But now we had to get home to the club room. Since our game was over, Haruhi was okay with covering up. So we shuffled around our clothes - my clothes, actually - as quietly as we could, while remaining hidden under the counter. After two minutes of shuffling, I buttoned my uniform shirt over Haruhi's breasts and pulled my boxer shorts over her bottom.

A couple guys studying at a table near the library entrance gave us peculiar looks when we walked past them and out the door. I got some well deserved frowns since I looked pretty slovenly, wearing my uniform slacks with an undershirt, holding an extension cord in my hand. I think Haruhi caused some nose bleeds, though. She looked very hot in my uniform shirt. Her lovely legs, bare down to the floor, definitely grabbed their attention. Since my over-sized shirt covered her boxers, I'm sure it tweaked their imagination. What was Haruhi wearing - or not wearing - underneath that shirt? The armless sleeves no doubt added to the mystery.

The shirt made a big difference on our return trip. Haruhi easily deflected the curious looks we received from the handful of students we passed, meeting their stares with a withering look that asked _"What's your problem?"_ (A strategy that would not have been as effective were she naked.) We made it back through the mostly empty school to the SOS Brigade headquarters without any problems.

When we got to the club room, I pulled the key out of Haruhi's drawer and undid the cuffs. Haruhi pulled off my shirt and rubbed her wrists. "That was a hell of an adventure, Kyon! Thanks." She ran up to me, put her arms around me, and kissed me. "Do you feel better now that you've conquered my third hole?"

"Yes, I do. You're ass is terrific." I pushed my hand down inside her borrowed boxers and squeezed her right butt cheek. "I'm officially returning ownership of this body part to you."

"Thanks," she said. She stepped out of my boxers and handed them to me. "And I'm officially returning these smelly shorts to you." Haruhi crossed her arms across her chest and looked down at her once-again totally naked body. She sighed. "I just don't see any way to make this natural outfit idea work," she said. I frowned when she said that. "Don't get me wrong, I really love being naked, especially around you. This game was a total blast! But all we think about when I'm like this is sex! At this rate we'll never get anything done!"

Haruhi continued, "Check out all the sex that happened." She held out her hand and started counting her fingers. "Let's see, number one was when I gave you a blowjob yesterday. Two was Mikuru blowing you. Three was Yuki licking my clit - damn she was good! Four was when you fucked Mikuru." I nodded. That one was really good, too. "Then this morning I blew you in the library and fucked you - that's five and six. Seven, I blew the fireman. Eight, I sucked off Koizumi in the shower." Haruhi took a deep breath. "And nine, you fucked my ass in the library. Wow, that's nine sex acts in less than thirty hours! It's crazy, Kyon!"

"Three of those involved naked girls in bondage, too," I added. "That's pretty cool." Which reminded me. "Hey, I fingered you on that desk when you had your ankles tied to your wrists. Shouldn't that count?"

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "No! That didn't count."

"Why not?"

"Because it doesn't count unless somebody has an orgasm!" Then she grinned. "It sure was fun being tied up like that, though. I was right on the edge. A little more teasing…" Haruhi took a deep breath. "Anyways," she held up nine fingers, "with all this sex you'd think we were trying to make a Hentai movie or something!"

"I bet a movie like that would be a big hit at the cultural festival. We could offer a Doujinshi comic of it, too." I pointed at Haruhi's right hand. Her pinky was not extended. "Hey, Haruhi. You still have one finger left. You're not complete. What are we gonna do for number ten?"

"I don't know. We've done just about everything I can think of that doesn't involve sick stuff like bathroom functions or small furry animals. There's gotta be something we can do."

Just then Koizumi, who was obviously eavesdropping on the other side of the door, burst in. "You haven't done a double penetration yet!"

Haruhi smiled. "He's right!"

I raised my right hand. "I get her ass hole."

"Again?" Haruhi crossed her arms and gave me a curious look.

"Sure. Your bum rocks. And there's butter in the fridge!" I went to retrieve it.

"I'm quite happy with Miss Suzumiya's vagina," Koizumi said as he started undressing. Soon we were all naked.

"Okay, lets do this," Haruhi said. "It just wouldn't feel right to stop at nine. But this is the _last _sex act the SOS Brigade is going to do for a while, okay?" Koizumi and I nodded. "This is my first time doing one of these. How do we start?"

I sat on the table and spread my legs wide. "Slowly back your bum into my cock. When I'm all the way in, you can lean back on me. Then Koizumi will have access to your pussy."

"Okay then," Haruhi said nervously. "Pass the butter!" I held it up and Haruhi snatched the stick of butter from my hand. She put a healthy sized chunk in her hands and rubbed them together till the butter was warm and gooey. Then she liberally lubed me up with her greasy palms and fingers. After wiping her hands clean on a paper towel, she spread her legs and bent over so I could prepare her ass hole. I made sure it was very well coated.

"Ahhhhh," she said, as she slowly backed up into me, anally enveloping my manhood once again. When my cock was in her ass to the hilt, I reached around, grabbed Haruhi's breasts, and leaned back a bit. Haruhi lifted her knees and spread her legs wide, paving the way for Koizumi's contribution to the somewhat complicated act.

Koizumi slid into Haruhi easily and started pumping as soon as he was in, slowly at first but then picking up the pace.

Haruhi squeezed my legs. "Woo hoo! We're doing it! We're doing it!"

"How does it feel," I asked her as I gently massaged her full round breasts.

"It's a little strange having you both inside me like this, but it's not bad overall."

Then our conversation became difficult. Feelings of sexual bliss started to overwhelm Haruhi as an orgasm approached. There wasn't much I could do with her sitting on me, so I just relaxed while Koizumi and Haruhi went at it up front. Although I missed being a larger part of the action, I enjoyed quietly spending quality time with Haruhi's fabulous breasts as she shivered with pleasure above me. Even though half of the sex acts Haruhi enumerated involved the two of us, I hadn't spent nearly enough time with her amazing rack.

I wanted Haruhi's final orgasm to be a winner. And the skillful way Koizumi was going at it, I knew it would be. Watching them was hot - it kept me totally hard. I could actually feel what they were doing through my cock.

Suddenly Haruhi arched her back and tensed in my arms. She was about to climax. "EEEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!" she shouted. I could feel Haruhi's vagina pulsing as it gripped Koizumi. Damn this girl was loud during sex!

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" a grimacing Koizumi added in a much more reserved way. I could feel subtle tremors emanating from Koizumi's throbbing cock as well.

The two came together hard. It was fun to watch their facial expressions as I felt their bodies pulsating. For about a minute, the two were in another world.

After a while I could sense the tension of their shared orgasm subside. Koizumi calmly pulled himself out and regained his balance. I waited a few minutes for Haruhi to catch her breath and come back down to earth as well. After she reentered the atmosphere, Haruhi leaned back against me. Breathing softly, eyes closed, with her hands resting on my legs as I gently massaged her breasts. Haruhi was content as a clam. She was in no hurry to move on.

Koizumi gave me a thumbs up and a knowing nod. Despite the fun he and Haruhi just had, he acknowledged that Haruhi was now exactly where she wanted to be. I certainly liked the sensation as well, but I felt like I was about to blow up. "Shall we get dressed?" I finally asked the glowing girl, who was now gently rocking, relishing the feeling of my rock hard cock filling her ass.

"Nope," Haruhi said as she put her warm grateful hands over mine, which were still holding her breasts. "You didn't come yet. Don't you dare pull out of me until you do!"

Haruhi laid back on me and we managed to roll over together as a unit. It was pretty comical. I'm sure we looked like two connected dogs in heat. Soon Haruhi's belly was on the table, and I was on her back. Koizumi pulled us toward him. When our feet hit the ground, Haruhi was bent over the table and I was standing behind her, my rigid cock still deep inside her. Haruhi rested her head in her arms and pushed her breasts down into the table. A subtle wiggle of her hips told me she was ready.

I pumped myself into Haruhi's wonderfully tight third hole for the second time that day. Having a full view of Haruhi's perfect body and her fantastic firm ass was definitely a bonus. It didn't take me long to finish. Haruhi moaned and softly bit her arm as I filled her to the hilt with my love sauce once again. Though my second foray into her ass wasn't nearly as sweet as the first - I don't think I'll ever be able to top that one - it was still incredible.

After I finished coming, I gently pulled my satisfied softening shaft out of Haruhi. Haruhi quickly pushed herself up, turned and stood facing me. She put her hands on my shoulders and backed up, easing her bare bottom onto the table. Once she was comfortably sitting, she wrapped her legs around my waist and squeezed. "Hey. I want to know something. Do you like fucking my ass more than my pussy?"

I put my hands on her hips and looked into her eyes. I thought about her question. "Not really," I replied honestly. "You're pussy will always be number one with me."

"Even more than my mouth?" She opened wide and stuck out her tongue at me.

"That's a toughie," I replied as I tapped her silly tongue. "Because you really are so good with that thing. But no. Your pussy will always be number one with me. Because when I fuck you there, we come together."

Haruhi smiled. "That's sweet. I guess that's why they call the ass hole the third hole." She let me go, pushed me away, and jumped off the table.

"Okay, guys!" she said. "Get out of the room. I need to change."

Koizumi and I looked at each other. Haruhi couldn't be more naked. She must be kidding!

But she wasn't. We put on our boxers and rushed out into the hall with our clothes in our arms, leaving our naked Brigade leader alone in the club room.

"Considering Miss Suzumiya's current state of undress, that was a rather peculiar request," Koizumi said.

I shrugged. "That's Haruhi for you." I pulled on my pants. "Unpredictable as ever."

We were soon dressed and waiting patiently outside of the club room.

"Kyon," Koizumi said very seriously. "I need to talk to you about something."

I nodded, "What?"

"Although Miss Suzumiya and I were intimate today, please know I have no designs on her whatsoever. My heart currently belongs to another. And that's why I need to talk to you."

"Wow. That's fantastic," I replied. "Who is the lucky girl? Is it Mikuru?"

Koizumi took a deep breath. "No. But you're very close. I would like to ask for your permission to date your daughter, Natsume. I believe it's only proper that I do, since we are friends."

"WHAT?" I nearly fell on the floor.

Just then Haruhi stepped out of the door. She was wearing a simple red dress that left her shoulders bare, then gently hugged her figure as it flowed down to her ankles. The fabric flared out as she turned full circle to model it.

Koizumi's and my mouth dropped open as we took in the view. From her yellow hair band down to the sandals on her feet, Haruhi looked beautiful!

Haruhi giggled when she saw our reaction. "Not bad for a girl with clothes on, huh?" She stepped out the door and took our hands. "Come on guys. Let's go get some tea."

"Who's paying?" I asked, almost reflexively.

Haruhi thought about it for a moment. Then she giggled before saying, "It'll be like in the shower."

Koizumi and I looked at each other and shook our heads. It was obviously a private joke, but we didn't get it. We groaned when Haruhi spread out her arms and told us the punch line:

"IT'S ON ME!"


	5. Treasure Hunters

.

**The Nudity of Haruhi Suzumiya**

by Alfonso Ling

**Chapter 5 - Treasure Hunters**

Getting called to the administration office is never a pleasant thing. So when I heard my name called over the intercom right before the end of classes, I had a very bad feeling. I was surprised when the lady behind the counter merely handed me an envelope with my name on it and sent me on my way. "Fire Marshal Nagasaki left this for you," she said. "He asked for a student named 'Kyon'. He didn't have your full name. We weren't sure who it was either. Fortunately a student waiting in the office recognized it as your nickname."

"Okay. Thanks," I said, taking the card from her hand. This was _very _strange. The Fire Marshall was one person I was hoping I'd _never _hear from again. I know he was one satisfied customer. Was he planning on extorting more… favors? I walked down the hall, making sure I wasn't being followed. Then I ripped open the envelope -

To find a 'Thank You' card!

Huh? I read it.

**Dear Kyon,**

**This will sound crazy, but thank you so much for setting off the fire alarm which sent me over to "rescue" you and your beautiful naked girlfriend. My fiance and I were having some serious issues - sexual issues - and it looked like our relationship was about to go down the drain. But since my encounter with your girlfriend, my fiance has never been happier or wanted it more. Mikoto can't keep her mouth off of my cock and I couldn't be happier. I don't know what your girlfriend did to me when she gave me that incredible blowjob in your library, but I'm a very grateful man. She saved my life. I would have sent her a card, too, but your name was the only one I remembered. Please pass my gratitude on to her.**

**Fire Marshal Hideki Nagasaki**

**P.S. For obvious reasons, please light this card on fire and dispose of it - SAFELY! - after you and your girlfriend have read it.**

Although I was very happy for Mr. Nagasaki, this was _not _something I was going to share with Haruhi. Unlike Haruhi's previous enhancements to the real world - Mikuru's laser vision, the talking cat, etc. - this one seemed harmless, even beneficial. I looked down at my pants. There was little doubt I was the beneficiary of those same improvements. I wondered what Haruhi had done to us.

I was a little nervous as I made the trip from the admin office to the club room. What would I find behind the door today? Haruhi was so unpredictable. Would she be clothed as promised? Or would she still be naked? What would Yuki and Mikuru be wearing, if anything? Life with Haruhi Suzumiya was always... interesting.

I couldn't deny it. Turning eighteen and become a legal adult had done something profound to Haruhi's self-image. It gave her a sense of freedom she never had before. She was now free to open her own bank account without needing a cosigner. She was free to own her own house or car or any other property she could afford. She was free to vote in the elections. She was free to do just about anything a free adult person could do. With maybe one exception. Haruhi wasn't old enough to drink alcohol yet. But she hated the stuff and the headaches it caused, so that restriction didn't bother her.

I thought it was rather odd that one of the freedoms she valued the most was the freedom to take her clothes off whenever she wanted. Sure, there were laws against public nudity in the city. And though strolling through the school naked was frowned upon, there actually weren't any rules prohibiting it. I'm pretty sure it never crossed an administrator's mind that student nudity would become an issue.

Haruhi was no dummy, though. She'd learned from her experience wearing the bunny suit that rules could be quickly added and amended. She wisely decreed that all the club's nudity would be confined within the walls of the club room. Of course Haruhi reserved the right to make exceptions to this rule at any time.

I took a deep breath as I approached the club room door. I jiggled the doorknob. The door was not locked. When I turned and pushed the knob, it opened easily.

"Hi Kyon," Haruhi said from her desk. My heart instantly sank when I saw the blue sailor uniform covering her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I know what you're thinking. But it's for the best."

"I understand." I sat down at my seat at the table. I had been so focused on Haruhi, I hadn't noticed Yuki in her school uniform reading and Mikuru standing at the tea station in her maid costume.

"Hey." Koizumi waved, snapping me out of my funk. "Up for a game of Othello?"

"No thanks. Maybe later."

Mikuru came by with a cup of tea. "I heard your name on the intercom, Kyon. Are you in trouble?"

"No. I just had to deal with some paperwork." I put my backpack on the table and surreptitiously shoved the 'Thank You' card into it.

"Oh that reminds me." Haruhi pulled open her desk drawer. She removed a small brown box from her backpack and put it in the drawer. I heard the sound of metal clinking when she set it down.

"What's in the box?" I asked the Brigade leader.

"Two more sets of handcuffs. One set for Yuki and one for Mikuru. I'm planning a few more games along the lines of the awesome one we played the other day so I figured it was important each girl had her own set."

Mikuru squealed. But I nodded. It made perfect sense to me considering the crazy direction Haruhi had been taking the club lately.

"Cool!" Haruhi's eyes grew wide with curiosity as she pulled a folded well-worn sheet of paper out of the drawer. "I didn't notice this in here!" She unfolded it and held it in her hands. "Check this out everyone! It's the treasure map!"

The map Haruhi held in her hands brought back memories of a past adventure. This map was supposed to lead us to treasure buried somewhere on the mountain behind Tsurya's house. Unfortunately it turned out to be a bust. After Koizumi and I dug at the specified spot for hours, we found only dirt. Haruhi was studying the map intently.

"I don't believe it!" Haruhi shouted, jumping up and down with her arms in the air. "I know what we did wrong! I can't believe I didn't see this before!" She put her finger on the map. "This landmark is in the wrong place." She slid her finger over a strange symbol a couple inches to the right. "This is where we should have been digging! How could I have missed that?"

I got up, walked toward the excited girl, and looked over her shoulder to see where her finger was pointing. "Hey, you're right," I said. Since the map was cluttered with depictions of various landmarks, trails, ridges, and trees, the symbol was an easy thing to miss. But there it was! The symbol consisted of four simple lines - a short squiggle butting up against a structure made up two vertical lines, topped with a subtly curved horizontal line as its roof. I remarked, "It looks like a wave running into a house."

A curious Koizumi was now standing beside me. "I believe it's a math symbol." He reached forward with his index finger. "This character is a tilde." He shifted his finger over. "And this looks like the Pi symbol."

Haruhi pulled the map away and turned toward us. "I don't care whether it's a house or a pie. We're gonna find treasure this weekend!" Haruhi's statement was easy to decipher. We would soon be digging once again on the hill behind Tsuruya's house. And by "we" she meant Koizumi and me. "Pull out your hiking shoes everyone! We're going on an adventure!"

* * *

It was a beautiful day when we arrived at Tsuruya's house out in the country. Tsuruya was glad to have us over again and was excited at the prospect of the SOS Brigade finding treasure on her mountain. Though to be honest, it wasn't really much of a mountain. It was more like a very respectable hill, covered with a canopy of trees and brush, with several trails winding up to the summit.

We gathered at the base of the hill, dressed for the warm day in our hiking shoes, short-sleeved shirts and shorts - except for Haruhi, whose light blue T-shirt was paired with a sexy pink terry cloth skirt. Koizumi and I also carried large backpacks filled with supplies, tools, and portable shovels. I shook my head when I saw the size of Koizumi's pack. He must have packed everything he could think of, including the kitchen sink.

He noticed my expression and smiled. "It pays to be prepared," he said.

Though Haruhi offered Tsuruya the opportunity to join us on what would no doubt be a successful treasure hunt, Tsuruya wisely declined.

"Okay everyone," Haruhi said, map in hand. "This time we're looking for a big rock or a set of rocks that's shaped like a Pi, and I don't mean apple pie. I mean the Greek symbol. My guess is that there will be two supporting rectangular rocks with another rock laying on top." She turned the map and pointed to two trails. "We're gonna split up. Kyon and I are going to take this trail." She pointed to the trail on the right. "Koizumi, Yuki and Mikuru. You guys take this trail." She pointed to the trail branching off to the left.

Koizumi walked toward the left trailhead and turned. "How should we signal you if we find something? Should we yell?"

"No. That would attract too much attention. Let's just meet up here at this clearing," she pointed to a spot three-quarters of the way up the hill where the trails connected, "and regroup. And don't rush this! Keep your eyes focused on the terrain. I just know we're gonna find treasure today!"

The three nodded, although Mikuru didn't look so great. I walked over to her. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes, I'll be fine. I've just been feeling a little sick to my stomach lately. But it usually clears up by lunchtime."

"See you guys at the clearing!" Haruhi shouted as she trotted up the trail on the right. "Come on slow poke!"

"Not so fast," I yelled after her. "You're not weighed down with a backpack!"

Haruhi ignored me and I jogged as fast as I could to catch up to her. But I lost her as she disappeared around the first bend. "Dammit, Haruhi!" I sighed to myself. "Slow down." Since I couldn't see her, I decided to maintain a reasonable pace and hoped Haruhi would be kind enough to wait for me at some point.

When I came around the first bend, Haruhi's light blue T-shirt hit me in the face. I caught it with my arm before it hit the ground. "Put that in your pack."

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Her pink skirt was the next thing to hit me in the chest. "What does it look like?"

"Are you stripping?"

"You know it buddy!" Haruhi reached behind her back, unfastened her bra, and tossed it over to me. She quickly pushed her panties down past her knees and over her lifted-up hiking shoes. It was the only item of clothing she was polite enough to hand me. I stuffed the four items into my pack. "Clothes are for the birds," she said. "I would have stripped at the trail head, but I didn't want to embarrass Tsuruya."

"I see. You do know that birds don't wear clothes, don't you?"

The nude Brigade leader put her hands on her hips and thought about that for a moment. "You're right. In a way. Though they do have feathers. Well... you know what I meant." Haruhi walked over to a nearby patch of grass and knelt down. "Okay, Kyon. Get over here and take it out."

"Huh?" I wasn't sure my ears were working properly.

"Come on. I know how my naked body sets you off." She giggled. "Bring it over. We've got a little bit of a hike ahead of us and I don't want you to have to walk funny the whole way."

Once again Haruhi was thinking ahead. I pulled my cock out of my shorts - yes, it was very hard - and rested it on the Brigade leader's tongue. I grabbed my wrist behind my back and watched the gleeful nude girl at play. "You really love doing this, don't you?"

Haruhi nodded as she bobbed up and down on my appreciative penis. "Hmmm-hmmmfff." Her reply felt great!

I thought about the Fire Marshal's card. It raised a question. "Hey Haruhi. Do you like the way I taste? You know, my stuff?"

"Hmmm-hmmmfff." Haruhi nodded yes.

"Do-"

Haruhi pulled her mouth off of my cock and looked up at me. "Stop talking, Kyon! Or I'm just gonna let you suffer!" She smacked me on the leg. "Let's get this over with!"

I shut up. And Haruhi continued the blowjob. When it came to orally pleasuring me, this girl pretty much had me down. I came into her mouth about a minute later, nearly buckling from the intensity of the orgasm. Haruhi stood up with chipmunk cheeks and a satisfied smile. Then she slowly gulped down all of my semen, savoring every swallow. "Thanks," she said after licking her lips.

I put myself back into my pants. She patted my package - it was becoming her signature after-blowjob maneuver - and we started up the trail. I watched Haruhi's beautiful bare bottom sway from side to side for several minutes as we scaled the mountain. I loved this view - and I could tell Haruhi loved the fact that I loved it.

"It's going to be hard for me to concentrate on finding rock formations with you in the lead like that."

Haruhi laughed. "Oh come on, Kyon. You stare at my ass nearly just as much when it's covered. You think a girl doesn't notice that?"

She was right, of course. I sometimes caught her checking out my ass, too. So I asked her, "Hey Haruhi, how come you don't have me and Koizumi taking our clothes off?"

"The same reason I take mine off," she replied. "It's nature. Nature designed girls to be beautiful." Haruhi turned and started walking backwards. She squeezed her breasts together. "We're soft… and supple…" She turned and ran her hands over her bum. "Round… and pretty! Girls were made to be appreciated!"

"That's not fair," I replied. "Nature made guys, too, after all."

"Sure. But nature made guys for utilitarian reasons. Guys are big and strong. They're hairy and they've got stuff sticking out. And sometimes it sticks way out!" Haruhi giggled. "You gotta admit, it's kind of unsightly."

"You sure don't seem to mind when the thing sticking out gets stuck in you, though."

"Of course not! I love it when you stick your thing in me! That doesn't mean it's pleasant to look at. I mean it's not bad, but..." Still facing me, Haruhi paused for a moment. "It's like comparing a tractor to a Lamborghini. Sure, you can have a really nice tractor. But in the end it's just a tractor. And it's always gonna be a tractor!" Haruhi lifted her arms over her head and subtly wiggled her hips. "But when you pass by a really nice sports car it's a totally different feeling. Every part of you wants to touch it, to run your fingers over it," she giggled, "to get inside and drive it home."

As I took in the beauty of this goddess and her compelling explanation, my cock stiffened once again. I had to admit, there was a lot of logic in what Haruhi was saying.

"You wanna hear something funny?" she said, simultaneously ignoring and enjoying my discomfort. "A few years ago in Santiago, Chile some artists did one of those crazy living art projects. They built a real house, totally out of glass. And they had a girl, this cute model, live in it for two weeks. She pretended the walls were solid and she did everything she would normally do as if she were living in her own house."

"Like taking showers?" I asked.

"Yep." Haruhi laughed. "It was so popular there were guys - _and girls_ - lined up around the block. The crowd got so big, it screwed up traffic. Some people complained though."

"Prudes."

"You know it! So you know what they did? They changed out the girl and put in a guy. Know what happened?"

"Nobody showed up."

"That's right! Nobody really wants to see a naked guy!"

"Hmmm. But everybody wants to see a beautiful naked girl." I nodded as I scanned the beautiful naked girl standing in front of me.

Haruhi sensed the appreciation in my voice and gave me a shy smile. "Thanks, Kyon. It makes me really happy knowing you like my body so much. I want you to know that I don't take it for granted." She finally acknowledged the tent in my shorts. "Hey. Do you need some more help?"

"Maybe. In a few minutes." I frowned as Haruhi started up the trail again. "You must really think I'm a sex fiend, huh?"

Haruhi stopped and turned. I nearly ran into her. She put her arms around me and pulled me close for a kiss. "I totally get it," she said, pressing her breasts into my shirt. "You're eighteen. Guys hit their sexual peak then. Your testosterone production is going through the roof. The experts say I won't hit my peak till I'm 35. Don't get me wrong - I like a good fuck as much as the next healthy young girl. But I understand that my body isn't making me as nuts as you."

"So _would you mind_ if I took my clothes off and joined you?"

Haruhi shrugged. "Hey, you're an adult now. You can do what you want. But I'd prefer it if you and Koizumi stayed dressed." Haruhi turned and pushed her bare bottom into my package, tilting the tent pole up toward my belly. "It's kind of nice having a barrier between your cock and my bum. Even if it is just a thin piece of denim."

* * *

I managed to hold out till we got to the agreed meeting place, though the walking did get quite uncomfortable. Haruhi's blowjobs were out of this world, but I did notice a substantial energy drop right after she gave one. As we approached the clearing, Mikuru, Yuki and Koizumi - with his backpack at his side - were already waiting for us, sitting in the grass. As expected, Koizumi's eyes bulged out when the nude Brigade leader approached. He adjusted his sitting position to facilitate the altered blood flow initiated by the view. But the tent in his shorts was impossible to miss.

Haruhi just shook her head. "Men," she sighed. "Okay, Koizumi. Take it out."

Koizumi looked over at me and Mikuru. "Miss Suzumiya, would you object to going somewhere private?"

"Don't want the girls to see your O-face, huh?" Haruhi shrugged. "Sure, that's fine." She took Koizumi's hand and led him away down the trail.

When they were well out of sight, I turned to Mikuru. "I have a crazy question to ask you." Mikuru nodded. "Remember when you blew me the other day? You said I tasted pretty good. What did you mean?"

Mikuru blushed. "Well, my more experienced girlfriends always told me that a guy's stuff really didn't taste very good. And I was a little afraid. I really wasn't sure I'd be able to make you come. And if I did I wasn't sure I was going to be able to handle what you'd give me."

"You were great!" I said with an encouraging smile. "A natural!"

"Thanks, Kyon." Mikuru's face lit up. "Blowing you was a really nice experience for me. And your stuff tasted _fantastic!_"

"What do you mean? Fantastic? Would you put my cum on your ice cream, for example?"

"Oh sure! You're stuff tastes like whipped cream. Even better!"

I sat down in the grass across from the two girls. "Remember last week's fire drill? To make a long story short, Haruhi set that off. And the fire marshal was about to bust her but he let her off the hook after she gave him a blowjob. I just got a card from that guy. He says he's been changed somehow and his sex life is better than ever." I turned to Yuki. "Is it possible that Haruhi changed him?"

"May I analyze your penis?" Yuki replied. I knelt before her and took it out. My cock instantly hardened as she probed it with her fingers. Yuki bent forward and eyed it closely. Then she licked and sniffed it as she squeezed me. She looked up. "May I collect a sperm sample?"

"Okay, but please take it easy on me. Haruhi is jealous of your skill."

"I understand." Yuki took me into her mouth. "Oh boy," I gasped as her tongue and mouth stimulated me toward Nirvana. Mikuru looked on as if she were witnessing a science experiment. Despite dialing it back to level four, it didn't take long before I was pumping my semen into Yuki's incredibly talented mouth. Her eyes bulged a little bit as I emptied myself into her - as did her cheeks once I finished.

Yuki analyzed the fluid in her mouth like a glass full of fine wine before gulping it all down with a nod.

"Well, what did you think?" I asked the silent alien.

"Miss Suzumiya has modified your sex organs. The volume of your ejaculate is abnormal as is the consistency and composition of the fluid."

"What does that mean? Are you saying there's too much stuff and it's not normal stuff?"

"Yes, the flavor has been enhanced." Yuki licked her lips. "It tastes quite good. Also, your semen is very high in nutrients. A single serving contains the recommended daily allowance of all the vitamins and minerals a normal girl would need in a day."

"Wait a minute, Nagato. Are you saying that any girl that blows me is getting a great tasting meal?"

"Yes."

Damn. What had Haruhi done to me? This was crazy. "Can I still make babies?"

"Yes. In fact it is now guaranteed. Any female into whose vagina you ejaculate will almost certainly become pregnant."

Mikuru squealed, although since the arrival of our daughter, Natsume, from the future, we had already suspected she was pregnant.

"It makes total sense," I said. "Haruhi loves giving blowjobs and the complaint most girls have is that a guys' stuff doesn't always taste so good. She wasn't willing to accept that fact, so she fixed the problem." I subconsciously moved my hand over my package. "Yuki, does this mean that Haruhi will modify any guy that she sucks off?"

"Yes."

I was shocked at first. But then I realized it wasn't all bad. Fire Marshal Nagasaki sure didn't have any complaints! "I notice a bit of an energy drop after I come. What's up with that?"

"The first law of thermodynamics. Conservation of energy."

"I get it," I replied. "All this nutrition has got to come from somewhere, huh?"

"Yes. Otherwise you would be able to survive indefinitely off of your own self-manufactured food supply."

"That explains why I've been eating so much more lately. I'm pretty sure she's only changed three people so far; me, Koizumi, and the Fire Marshal." That reminded me. I turned toward the trail Haruhi and Koizumi had taken and felt a slight pang of jealousy. "I wonder what's taking them so long." I watched the trail for several seconds.

Mikuru broke the spell by grabbing my arm. She looked up at me with concerned eyes. "Kyon, there's something I need to ask you. I feel really bad that Miss Suzumiya is the only girl who's naked. I know that it's just one of her crazy ideas, but she _is _our leader. Do you think it would be okay if I took my clothes off, too?"

Wow. That was one of the last questions I'd expect to come from Mikuru Asahina. I smiled. "You know what? I think that would make Haruhi's day."

Mikuru returned my smile and started undressing. "There's nothing here _you _haven't already seen!" She handed me her blouse.

Yuki started to undress as well. "Yuki?" I asked. "Do you really want to do this, too?"

She nodded.

Within minutes I was standing between two very loyal SOS Brigade members. I felt kind of proud to be associated with these two amazing girls. I was guessing Koizumi wouldn't mind if I stuffed their clothes into _his _backpack since he left it on the grass with us. That's what you get for taking your time, dude!

Haruhi was the first to appear from the trail, full of energy and life. Thanks to Yuki, I now had a much better understanding why. When she saw Mikuru and Yuki standing next to me, wearing only their hiking shoes, Haruhi's face took on one of the brightest smiles I'd ever seen. She literally jumped for joy!

"ALL RIGHT!" she shouted. "You guys are THE BEST!" Haruhi rushed over, with bouncing breasts and that wide happy smile, and gave both Mikuru and Yuki great big hugs.

Koizumi emerged from the trail, looking a bit worn out. But he was all smiles when he noticed the two girls' change of wardrobe. Although I was pretty sure it was the first time Koizumi had seen Mikuru and Yuki naked, Koizumi did an admirable job of keeping his eyes in their sockets as he approached them.

"This is so cool!" Haruhi gushed. "You two joining me naked… I _love _you guys!" She ran over to the grass patch and sat down. "Come on. Let's have lunch. The guys look kind of beat." She gauged the weight Koizumi's backpack by pushing it over a couple inches with her shoe. "I guess these things get pretty heavy after a while."

Koizumi and I greedily dove into our lunch - sandwiches that Haruhi had made - plus we ate everyone else's leftovers. For some reason Haruhi and Yuki weren't very hungry. Haruhi looked at us with astonishment as we gorged on the feast. "Wow, you guys are eating like a couple of starved bears!" Which made Mikuru giggle.

I think Haruhi was happier and more excited than I've ever seen her. I almost forgot the girls were naked. But then Haruhi reminded me by playfully squeezing Yuki's full breasts which had developed considerably in the two years since I first met her. "These babies are awesome!" she told her silent, non-responsive companion. Though Yuki's breasts weren't anywhere near as big as Mikuru's, they looked impressive on Yuki's smaller frame. I think I saw a smile cross Mikuru's lips. Now she wasn't the only female Brigade member receiving Haruhi's good-natured sexual abuse. After we finished our meals, Mikuru collected all the trash together and stuffed it into a plastic bag, which ended up in my pack.

Haruhi got us focused back on the task at hand. "I don't suppose you guys saw anything on the way up? You probably would have told me if you did." The three shook their heads no. "I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Otherwise somebody would have found the treasure by now."

Mikuru raised her hand. "I did see one rock formation that looked out of place. Like someone put it there. But it didn't look like a 'Pi' symbol at all."

"What did it look like?" Haruhi asked.

"It was a number '7'."

Koizumi put his finger to his chin. "It is conceivable that the 'Pi' structure was shifted by a storm or an earthquake, leaving a '7' behind."

"No, it wasn't that," Mikuru said. "I looked it over carefully. There were only two slabs of stone. It was a '7'."

"Well, it's the only lead we've got right now," Haruhi said. "Let's check it out!" Haruhi stood up, turned and walked toward the path, waving for us to follow. As Haruhi bounded back down the left trail with the other two girls in close pursuit, Koizumi and I struggled to put our backpacks back on. Soon three gorgeous bare bottoms disappeared into the woods, leaving us alone.

"What took you so long?" I asked Koizumi. "For a second there I thought you fell off the mountain."

"Did you get a little jealous?" A silly smile crossed Koizumi's lips. "Afraid I was going to run off with your woman?"

"Don't mess with me Koizumi. Or I'll give Natsume a six o'clock curfew!"

Koizumi laughed, "Good one… Dad!", and smacked me on the back. Yes, we were joking. This type of banter had become more common between us since our double penetration session with Haruhi. As strange as it may sound, sharing Haruhi that day in the club room brought Koizumi and me closer. No, not in any sort of sexual way! We just naturally became much better friends.

I knew Haruhi felt a special obligation to the male members of the club, especially when it was the sight of Haruhi's phenomenal naked body that gave us boners. So I wasn't too jealous when she sucked Koizumi off. I knew that Itsuki was falling deeply in love with my daughter, Natsume. The same time-traveling Natsume who was probably no larger than my thumb right now, growing inside Mikuru's womb.

Koizumi cleared the air. "Miss Suzumiya wanted to talk," he said. "She wanted me to know that although my erection would soon be in her mouth, she didn't want me to get the wrong idea. She understood that her decision to dress more naturally would create some issues with the male members of the Brigade and she was willing to accept full responsibility for that. She was very pleased to learn that I was dating Natsume. Then she blew me."

"How was it?"

"Miss Suzumiya seems to be improving with every blowjob she gives. Which is quite an accomplishment considering how good she is to begin with."

"Natsume has been wanting it more, too, hasn't she?"

Koizumi looked a little shocked. "Why yes! Quite a bit more. Did she tell you that?"

"Have you fucked her?" I asked.

"It's been difficult. Natsume insists on proper protection, a desire which is no doubt related to your lack of caution with Miss Asahina. The volume of my ejaculate has been an issue. We were having protected sex and Natsume intuitively sensed something was wrong. Fortunately I pulled out of her in time. The end of the condom I was wearing turned into a balloon and popped, spewing my semen all over the place. It was quite a mess."

"One she was quite happy to clean up?"

"Why… yes." Koizumi gave me a confused look. He was no dummy. "What has Miss Suzumiya done to us?"

When I explained it to him he took it the way I did. Shocked at first, but then not too disappointed at all. "I'm not surprised. However this does mean that anybody blown by Miss Suzumiya will need to be more diligent when it comes to releasing pent up pressure."

I thought about that for a second. "Fortunately Haruhi really is very good about that." We both laughed. But then Koizumi's face turned deadly serious.

"Kyon, there is something I feel I must share with you. And I say this as a friend as well as a potential future son-in-law."

I shook my head. This whole dating-my-daughter thing was was starting to get a little bit out of hand. "What's on your mind?"

"The Organization is concerned about recent events related to Miss Suzumiya's ascent to adulthood."

"Come on, she's only eighteen years old. She's not all that different from the Haruhi that dragged you into the SOS Clubroom two years ago."

"That is where you are mistaken, Kyon. She is _very _different. She is no longer just a girl. She is an adult woman."

"Well I know she thinks she is," I replied. "But to me she's the same Haruhi she's always been. Except for the whole nudity thing. But that's not bothering me a bit. Does it bother you?"

"Of course not. After all, my Natsume is an indirect product of Miss Suzumiya's obsession with nudity." _His Natsume, huh? _Koizumi put his hand on my shoulder. "Miss Suzumiya believes herself to be an adult woman. So she is. And the Organization believes that she has chosen you to be her mate. For life. And I must say that I concur with that assessment."

Okay, I'm no dummy. Having crazy amounts of fantastic sex with Haruhi put my mind in the same place. I looked over at Koizumi. "I've considered that. And I'm perfectly okay with it. Haruhi is a pain in the ass. But she's _my _pain in the ass and my life wouldn't be complete without her. I'd marry her in an instant."

"Kyon. It pains me to tell you this, but a future with Haruhi Suzumiya is impossible. She is a god. You are a normal human being. It will not work out. She is destined to learn of her powers. It is inevitable. At that point it is also inevitable that you will no longer sustain her interest."

I came to a dead stop on the path. I didn't like to admit it, but I knew Koizumi was right. It was a matter of time before Haruhi found out who she was. And then it was just a matter of time before she'd move on. Like an actor or an athlete that hit it big, her past would be forgotten. Sure, she might join me for an occasional cup of tea as the paparazzi fawned over her all around us, but I'd soon be forgotten. Like Koizumi said, it was inevitable.

"Think about it Kyon. I'm sure Miss Suzumiya is aware of what must take place at some level and she has prepared for it." Koizumi sighed like a good friend hating to break the bad news. "Although this is admittedly complete conjecture on my part, it is logical. Consider the connection you've developed to Miss Asahina recently, bolstered by the appearance of your daughter, Natsume. I believe that you are destined to marry Mikuru." He put his hand on my shoulder. "The SOS Brigade is just a springboard for Miss Suzumiya. And we have no room to complain. For our loyalty, I believe that we've both been amply rewarded."

I was floored. But what Koizumi said made complete sense. I couldn't deny his logic. Haruhi was a woman now. She was destined to move on to bigger things.

And at some level, Haruhi had planned out our future. The pairings were obvious. Koizumi had found Natsume. And Mikuru would become mine.

As we walked together silently, I considered Koizumi's words and my future.

A full life with the lovely Mikuru Asahina at my side - and in my bed.

It was nothing to sneeze at.

* * *

It took us about fifteen minutes to catch up with the girls. The sight of the three gorgeous naked women exploring the '7'-shaped rock formation made me smile. I considered myself one of the luckiest guys in the world and, like Haruhi, I didn't want to take anything for granted.

"Over there!" Haruhi was standing on top of the '7' formation and pointing down the hill. "There's a rectangular ditch over there between those trees. That's not natural." Haruhi jumped off of the '7', slid down the steep grade, and hopped down into the ditch. Once there, she noticed something odd sticking out of the ground - two mud-covered rectangular humps. She kicked the dirt off of the humps, revealing two slabs of granite about a foot apart. The slabs were just a bit wider than the soles of her hiking shoes. Imaginary parallel lines extending from these slabs pointed directly toward the '7' rock formation. Haruhi placed one foot on each slab and looked up.

"Check this out," Haruhi said. She was shading her eyes from the sun with her left hand while looking up the hill. "I don't think this is a messed up 'Pi' symbol at all. I think it really is a seven." She extended her right arm and pointed up. "If you look up at it from this angle, that ridge looks exactly like a dash. And up above that ridge, at either side of that crevice, the rock edges look exactly like 'Z's... or two number '2's. It reminds me of a fraction out of one of my grade school math books."

"That's very interesting," Koizumi said, gazing up the hill. "Can I take a look from your perspective, Miss Suzumiya?"

"Sure." Haruhi stepped out of the ditch. "Knock yourself out."

Koizumi stepped down into the hole, placed his shoes on the granite slabs, and looked directly up the hill. He moved his head from side to side, all the while looking perplexed.

"Try crouching down a little," I said. "So your eyes are at the same level as Haruhi's."

"Yes. Of course." Koizumi crouched down, and looked up. "Yes, now I see it! From this perspective I can see what Miss Suzumiya saw. This seven." He pointed to it. Then he pointed up the hill at the ledge jutting out. "A bar." And then higher. "And I can distinctly make out two number '2's in the alignment of the rock edges when looking at it from this angle. One '2' on either side of the crevice." He looked up at us. "I believe I am clearly looking at a fraction. Twenty-two divided by seven."

I shook my head. "What does it mean?" I turned to the human calculator in the group. "Yuki? Does this mean anything to you?"

"Twenty-two divided by seven equals 3.142857 with that decimal portion repeating on to infinity. The value Pi is equal to 3.14159265 with its decimal portion varying randomly to infinity."

I put my hand up to my chin. "Those numbers are pretty close, aren't they?"

"Yes, Pi is 99.96% of that value."

"That's what the squiggly thing means!" Haruhi shouted. "Don't people use that symbol when they mean 'approximately'?"

Koizumi looked over at me and nodded. "She's right."

Haruhi pointed down at the hole. "Okay guys! Start digging between those two rocks!"

Koizumi and I looked at each other, then we shrugged in unison. It made sense. So while three gorgeous naked girls chatted and giggled, two strong men started digging.

About five minutes into the project I looked up and realized I had a fantastic bug's eye view of Mikuru Asahina. She was standing with her back to me, arms wrapped under her breasts, slightly bent forward with legs spread, hips shifted to the side... toes slightly pointed inward... I had the most incredible view of Mikuru's magnificent vagina. My mouth dropped open with lust.

Haruhi picked up on it right away. "Keep your eyes on the job Kyon! And off of Mikuru's ass!" Mikuru turned and blushed. Haruhi shook her head when she saw the huge tent in my shorts. "Dammit!"

"Can I help him, please?" Mikuru asked meekly. "I'm responsible. I shouldn't have been standing so close to where he was working."

Haruhi frowned. "Yeah, I guess it's okay. Besides, it's not fair for me to have _all _the fun." She glared at me for a moment and shook her head. "But he doesn't deserve it!"

I looked at Koizumi. "I'll be fine," he said with a knowing wink. He turned to Haruhi. "I think I may have hit something solid. It could just be a root, though. I'll try to dig it out."

I was actually pleased by the turn of events. I knew Mikuru was struggling a little with her energy level since she was pregnant. The concentrated nutrition she'd receive from blowing me would help her out immensely.

Mikuru took my hand as soon as I stepped out of the ditch and pulled me down the trail to a nearby private patch of grass.

_"Just a blow job!"_ Haruhi, now out of sight, shouted after us. _"No sex!"_

"Thanks, Kyon." Mikuru dropped on her knees in front of me. "I'm sorry I did that to you. I hope you understand."

Wow. Was I that predictable? I laughed as I undid my belt and pushed my shorts down past my knees.

"You've been working hard." She pulled down on my hand. "So you don't have to stand. Just lay down here." She patted the grass. "And I'll do the rest."

"Thanks." I laid down. Then I intertwined my fingers behind my head and looked up at where my cock was pointing, through the trees at the blue sky. "Oh boy!" I gasped when Mikuru's lips enveloped me. She giggled at my earnest reaction.

As she slowly bobbed up and down on my shaft, I drifted into another world. A world of joy and happiness and sexual bliss. I knew I'd be hungry as a wolf after this, but right then I didn't give a damn. I glanced down toward Mikuru, who was on all fours, the round mounds of her gorgeous bare bottom wiggling above and behind her head from this angle as she took me all the way into her throat. She was getting _very _good at this.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" I sighed as I filled Mikuru's mouth to capacity with creamy concentrated nutrition.

_"Woo hoo!"_ I heard Haruhi shout in the distance. A startled Mikuru looked up the hill as she slowly swallowed down my stuff. No Haruhi wasn't cheering on my orgasm. They found something!

I pulled up my pants and got to my feet. Mikuru took my arm and pressed three energy bars into my hand. "I swiped these when she wasn't looking just now. They should fix you up, right?"

I ripped a bar open and shoved it into my mouth. I nodded happily with a full mouth of granola and gave her a thumbs up. After gobbling down the first bar, I felt much better. Bars two and three topped me off perfectly.

"Hey, How come I didn't notice you carrying those power bars over here? It's not like you have any place to hide them."

Mikuru playfully punched me on the shoulder. "Have you even looked at my hands since I've taken my clothes off?"

I returned a sheepish smile. She was right, of course. There was so much more to admire about the beautiful Mikuru Asahina than her hands.

After quickly replenishing my system, Mikuru and I jogged back toward the ditch. (No, my eyes were not drawn to her hands as she ran.) When we arrived, Koizumi was handing Haruhi a black wooden box. Haruhi took the box, lifted up the lid, and took out its contents.

"WAY COOL!" Haruhi held the object up to us. "It's a golden mask!" Actually the mask looked more like a set of golden goggles. It was a semi-circle about four inches wide with an indent in the middle for the nose. She looked it over carefully. "This has got to be some sort of ancient relic." She cautiously put it over her eyes. The visor was a perfect fit, snugly covering her eyes and ears.

"May I see it?" Haruhi handed the mask to Koizumi. "This is truly an impressive find." He tried to put the mask over his eyes, but it bounced off of his larger head.

"And you know there's gonna be more!" Our nude Brigade leader's breasts bounced as she jumped up and down excitedly. She pointed up the hill toward the ledge. "Come on guys! Let's go!"

We reached the ledge in no time, since it was only a couple hundred yards away. Though it looked like a simple dash from down below, in reality the ledge was about twenty feet wide. Haruhi stood in the exact center of this ledge, straddling the imaginary line that connected the "7" to the "22". She looked down at the "7". Then turned to look up at the "22". Then she pointed directly ahead toward two barely perceptible mounds of dirt. "There." Koizumi walked over with his shovel and scraped the dirt off to the side. Haruhi nodded proudly when two more granite slabs were revealed.

"You guys know what to do!" Haruhi patted Mikuru's bum before taking her arm. "And you're coming with me."

Koizumi and I dug while the girls sat down on the edge of the ledge, their legs dangling over the end. From my perspective I saw three bare bottoms leading up to three perfect hourglass figures.

"It reminds me of three exquisite cellos set on a stage," Koizumi said, breaking me out of my trance. He pushed his shovel into the dirt.

"I'm sorry. I guess I just don't have your control."

Koizumi chuckled. "I would be just as distracted as you, if my mind were not preoccupied with thoughts of the love of my life, who is currently elsewhere."

He was thinking of my daughter, Natsume, of course. Could this get any weirder?

About three feet down we hit another box. It seemed a bit heavier than the last one. Haruhi rushed right over. She had to be the one to open it.

"This is strange," Haruhi said after pulling out a golden bracelet. A sturdy chain leading to a fist-sized golden loop dangled from the bracelet. "Is this some sort of ancient jewelry?"

"I think I know what it is," I said. "Here." Haruhi handed me the item. "Hold out your arm." She did. I closed the wide hinged bracelet over Haruhi's wrist and pulled up on the chain. The bracelet locked into place perfectly.

Haruhi held out her arm, watching the chain and loop as it swayed before her eyes. "Are these what I think they are?"

I looked in the box. There were three more bracelets just like it, though two of them were a bit wider that the others. I laid the remaining bracelets out on the ground. "I think they're part of some sort of restraint system," I said. "Two smaller bracelets for the wrists and two larger ones for the ankles."

"What does it mean?" asked Koizumi.

Haruhi looked up the hill toward the crevice between the "22" and pointed. "I think I know where we're going to find the answers."

The ever-prepared Koizumi retrieved a canvas bag from a backpack compartment. After gathering together the five golden items, he became the official carrier of the loot.

The path from the ledge up to the crevice was much harder to navigate since there really was no path. We moved up the hill in it's general direction, losing our way several times. However Haruhi never lost sight of the landmark. She was able to quickly get us back on track each time we strayed from the correct line of approach. By the time we finally made it to our goal, Koizumi and I were beat. The girls, however, seemed to be brimming with energy. Even the pregnant Mikuru.

"There it is!" Haruhi pointed to a vertical crevice that disappeared into the hill. Unless someone was specifically looking for it, nobody would have found this thing for a million years. I looked up to see if I could make out the "2"s. But from this perspective the formation just looked like a bunch of random rocks, some closer to the crevice, some farther away. "Did either of you bring a flashlight?" Haruhi asked us.

"I have one," Koizumi said. Of course he did. The ever-reliable Koizumi put down his pack, pulled out the lamp, and handed it to Haruhi.

Haruhi turned sideways, stepped into the crevice, and aimed the light into the darkness beyond. "It looks like there's a cave back there. About ten feet in." She pushed herself into the narrow corridor and waved for us to follow. "Come on. Let's check it out."

Haruhi scooted along the crevice's irregular walls, her bum and breasts barely squeezing through. Koizumi followed next, navigating the narrow entrance without too much trouble even while dragging the clanging canvas bag with him.

The smaller Yuki had no problems at all managing the entrance. But I could see that the larger-chested Mikuru was concerned. I took off my shirt and put it over her shorter but rounder body before encouraging the frightened girl. "You can make it. It will be a tight squeeze, but with my shirt on at least your bum and breasts won't get scraped up."

Mikuru looked up at me with grateful eyes and a warm smile. "Okay, Kyon. Thanks." The going wasn't easy. We had to navigate through ten feet of narrow granite passageway. Though the walls of the corridor were surprisingly smooth, I still had to push Mikuru a couple times when her breasts got stuck. Soon we were both standing on the other side of the entrance, unscratched and unscathed.

We found ourselves in a small cave, about the size of a one car garage, though the ceiling and walls were curved. Filtered sunlight streamed through the long narrow entrance, creating lighting that was dim but adequate once our eyes adjusted. Happily, the temperature was perfectly comfortable for three naked women. Mikuru quickly removed my shirt and handed it back to me with a knowing nod before Haruhi noticed. Considering her natural bashfulness, I was a little surprised at how easily Mikuru shed my shirt. It gave me a warm feeling knowing how seriously she was taking her naked solidarity with our Brigade leader.

Haruhi hadn't notice our entrance. With flashlight in hand, she was carefully studying some of the hieroglyphics that covered nearly every part of the cave's wall. Off to the right at floor level I noticed a perfectly circular hole, about three feet in diameter. Was it a tunnel to a treasure room? This place was creepy. I wasn't anxious to find out.

Haruhi giggled sheepishly. "Check this out." She pointed the flashlight at a picture of a solid white "X" structure - with a headrest. I knew it was a headrest because a naked girl lay on top of this structure with her arms and legs spread out like an "x" on top of it. The drawing was simple - probably something a third grader would produce today - but it conveyed the message. "Look at these melons." Haruhi giggled again as she focused the flashlight's beam on the cartoon girl's large chest. When she focused the beam on the girl's head, it was obvious the girl was wearing a visor - our visor. And there was a halo hovering just above her head.

"Halos are commonly found in the artwork of many cultures," Koizumi commented. "It denotes righteousness… or in some cases deity."

"That makes no sense, though," Haruhi replied. "Why would they fasten a girl to this thing if she were a god?" She pointed the flashlight beam at the wrists, which were clearly adorned with the golden bracelets.

Koizumi shrugged. "I have no idea."

Haruhi walked over to the circular tunnel entrance. "I'm gonna check this out."

Yes, I was a little worried, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to stop Haruhi from exploring. The tunnel did look very sturdy. I assumed this place hadn't been visited for a least a thousand years. If this cave hadn't collapsed by now, I reasoned, it probably wasn't going to collapse on us today.

"I'm going with you," I said as I watched Haruhi's shapely bare bottom disappear into the tube. We crawled together about thirty feet, the hole at the end of the tunnel getting brighter as we approached it.

Haruhi was the first one to enter the cavern. She stood and dropped her flashlight to the ground. "WOW!"

Five seconds later I was standing next to her, completely agreeing with her assessment. "This place is amazing!"

We were standing inside the most incredible room. At it's base, it was a 20 foot square. Four coarse dark-stone walls curved upward like a cathedral, combining to a single point about 20 feet above us. Four glowing crystal pillars filled out and decorated the four corners, lighting up the breathtaking space with a warm white ambiance. A large smooth off-white granite globe - I estimated its diameter to be around my height - hung suspended from a point just below the center of the ceiling. It looked flawless.

Right below the globe was the "X" structure from the picture. Like the sphere hanging above it, the "X" was a solid piece of off-white granite which stood about three feet off of the ground. And like the picture, a granite extension formed a head rest. A smooth gully hewn out of the raised headrest gave me the impression that, despites its being solid rock, this would be a comfortable place to rest your head. There was even a hump for neck support. Haruhi walked over to the "X" and sat down on it.

"Wow," she said again with the brightest eyes I've ever seen. "This is so totally, amazingly COOL!" She looked up at the sphere and shook her head. "I wonder what's keeping that up there." I walked over to a corner and tried to peek around the thing, but was unable to see what was holding up the sphere.

Haruhi jumped off of the "X", rushed over toward the cave hole, and shouted into it, "Come on over guys! You've all _got _to see this!"

It took a little while for the three others to navigate the tunnel, but one by one the other members of the SOS Brigade joined us. They all - except for Yuki - looked up in awe when they saw the room.

"What is this place?" Mikuru asked.

"I don't know," Haruhi replied. She patted the "X". "But I think you should give this thing a try."

Mikuru, no doubt reliving the time Haruhi tied her to the club room table, immediately hugged herself and squealed with displeasure.

"Come on Mikuru," Haruhi said. "You saw the boobs on that girl in that drawing! I think you'd be perfect!" She pointed to Koizumi's canvas bag. "And we have all the parts we need right here!"

"Wait a minute!" I said. "Why pick on Mikuru? If you're so intent on trying this contraption out, why don't you do it yourself?" I pointed to her chest. "In case you haven't noticed, you have a very respectable rack of your own."

Haruhi crossed her arms across her own impressive chest while trying her best to suppress a smile. Then she frowned and groaned. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing, Kyon!" Haruhi knew exactly how much I appreciated her incredible body. It was one of her only weaknesses.

I pressed on. "Think back to our stop in the English classroom when we were playing that cop and prisoner game the other day," I said. "I _know _how much you enjoyed your time on that desk. Come on. It'll be fun."

Another small smile curled onto Haruhi's lips as she remembered the moment. Followed by another groan. I grinned as I tossed the winning card on the table.

"Don't forget our motto. Good things happen when you're naked."

Haruhi tilted her head to the side and gave me the sweetest look of defeat. "OKAY! I'LL DO IT!" She pointed at me. "But it's just you and me in the room!"

Everyone was silent, but smiling. Koizumi spoke up first. "You know, we really should be studying the art on that wall. It could tell us a lot about this place." Koizumi turned toward Mikuru. "Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes. Definitely," she said, with an equally sly smile.

"I believe the true purpose for this room will be revealed by analyzing the pictographic clues left behind by this ancient culture. It is imperative that we inspect every drawing closely." The uncommonly wordy Yuki was dead serious.

"Here." Haruhi tossed Yuki the flashlight. "We won't need it."

Koizumi graciously allowed the girls to enter the tunnel first and followed out behind them. I'm sure he was just being a gentleman and had no other motives.

Haruhi sat down on the smooth granite structure. She removed her shoes and ankle socks. "This is a little scary."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Of course I do!" A cute mischievous grin crossed Haruhi's face. "This'll be ten times more intense than when you tied me up in the English classroom!" Haruhi checked out the tips of the "X". Up-side down J-hooks facing out were embedded into the "hands" of the structure. Haruhi took one of the bracelets and fastened it to her right wrist. She let the chain dangle freely over the inverted hook. "I see how this works. The girl lays down and you put the gold loop over the hook. Then there's no way for her to get out."

"Yeah. It looks pretty basic. What do you think this room was used for?"

"I don't know." Haruhi scooted off of the structure's edge, the golden loop still dangling from the bracelet on her wrist, and she walked toward me. When she put her arms around my neck, the loop gently bounced off of my back. "And it doesn't really matter. Cause right now it's just you and me in here. And that makes me very happy." I placed my hands around the smiling naked girl's slender waist. We pulled each other close, Haruhi's full bare breasts compressing on my shirt, and we kissed.

As our lips parted, I couldn't suppress the feelings welling up inside of me. My mouth just blurted it out. "I love you Haruhi Suzumiya."

Haruhi smiled. "I know." She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and jumped away. "So let's do this!" Within seconds Haruhi had her arms and legs spread out over the "X" platform.

I dropped the golden loop of Haruhi's right bracelet over the hook. Then I fastened the second bracelet onto her left wrist and did the same with its loop. I was a little surprised when I fastened the larger bracelets around Haruhi's ankles. What were the odds that they would be such a perfect fit? And it wasn't just that the bracelets fit perfectly. The length of the chains and the position of the headrest was also... perfect. Now that Haruhi was fastened to the "X" I could see there was no way the shorter Mikuru or Yuki could have comfortably fit here.

I held the golden mask in my hand and studied it, remembering that when Haruhi tried it on, it was also - _a perfect fit_. Coincidence? I know getting tied up and teased in the English classroom was one of the highlights of our cop and prisoner game. Had Haruhi's active subconscious somehow brought us here? If anyone on the planet could pull off something like this, it was Haruhi Suzumiya.

I ran my fingers over the helpless girl's toned abdominal region. "How do you like it? How does it feel?"

Haruhi pulled on her golden restraints. "This is actually pretty cool. My heart is racing at a hundred miles per hour!" She nodded towards the ceiling. "And that globe up there looks wild from here! I wonder what would happen if it fell on us right now."

I ran my hands over Haruhi's breasts and looked up. "Let's see. It's about as wide as I am tall. It's got to weigh a few tons. I don't think we'd fare too well." I shrugged. "But it's been hanging up there for at least a thousand years, so I don't think it's going to fall any time soon."

Haruhi's eyes widened when I slid my finger inside of her vagina. "Hmmm." She closed her eyes, bit her lower lip and moaned when I slid my moist finger over her clitoris. "Don't do it right away after you blindfold me," she whispered sweetly. "Tease me a little bit first." Then she gave me that serious Haruhi stare. "But not _too_ much!"

"I promise I'll make it a very memorable experience. Try not to be too loud, okay?"

Haruhi giggled. "I think it's a little too late to worry about that now." She had a point.

The slab she was laying on was wide enough for me to straddle her so I jumped on top and knelt down with my knees at her sides. I bent forward and held the mask above her eyes. "Are you ready to do this?"

Haruhi smiled with excited eyes - then she nodded.

I slowly lowered the golden mask over Haruhi's eyes. Again - a perfect fit. The mask wrapped over her eyes and ears like it was custom designed for her. I had imagined that the weight of the golden mask and it's snug fit over Haruhi's ears would be sufficient to keep the visor in place. I was more than a little shocked when two metal bars that I hadn't noticed before, exactly the same size and shape as the mask, rose up out of the granite to meet it.

The magnetic bars attached to both ends of Haruhi's visor with a soft click, locking Haruhi's head down to the granite head rest. At the same time the J-hooks moved down and outward pulling the chains restraining Haruhi out a couple inches, before locking down to become a solid part of the "X" structure.

I could tell the turn of events left Haruhi a little bit disoriented. Like me, I'm sure she hadn't expected the mask to link up to the headrest the way it did. Since a wound-up Haruhi had her arms and legs stretched out to their limits when I put the mask on, she didn't seem to notice when the J-hooks pulled back, removing every bit of slack from the chains restraining her.

"Oh my." I could tell Haruhi was a little anxious, though she did her best to hide it. "This is so _WILD!_" She was speaking very loudly, no doubt because the visor was blocking the sound returning to her ears. She pulled on her restraints. "Hey Kyon. Is everything okay?"

I was wondering the same thing.

Yes, I was very shocked by what I was witnessing. This was supposed to be a dead slab of white granite! Not some sort of active machine. Something beyond my control was happening, and it scared the hell out of me! I looked around. Aside from the slab immobilizing Haruhi's head and stretching her out like canvas over a drum, everything looked fine. It wasn't time to panic. I was going to figure this out.

"You're giving me the silent treatment, huh?" Haruhi said, waking me from my daze.

I looked down at the trusting girl beneath me. Despite the unexpected turn of events, Haruhi seemed to be doing fine. She howled when I took hold of her full breasts and squeezed them together, while pinching her hard nipples between my fingers.

Haruhi knew I was there. She was okay.

"No problems!" I said loudly, feeling a bit guilty as the lie left my lips. "Everything is fine!"

"Still the silent treatment, huh?" Haruhi repeated. "That's okay, I get it. I can handle it."

Huh? It was obvious that Haruhi didn't hear me. I bent forward, moving my mouth near her right ear. "HARUHI! CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

There was no response. She smiled. I tapped on the mask, which was now an immovable solid part of the granite head rest, but there was still no response. She hadn't heard that either.

Damn! What the hell was going on? I looked around again, and this time I looked up. "What the...?" The granite globe had come to life. It was spinning! It was spinning very slowly, but it was spinning nonetheless.

That was it. We had to get out of this place. I jumped off of the slab to check out Haruhi's golden bracelets. Haruhi groaned immediately at my absence. Though I was only inches away, she wasn't happy about my leaving her. I put my hand on her thigh and brushed her leg on the way down to her bare foot.

"Don't you dare tickle me, Kyon! NOOOO!"

Haruhi chirped as I lightly ran my finger over the sole of her foot with one hand, while I studied the bracelet with the other. Nope, this thing was not coming off. I checked the hook, now embedded in the granite, while stroking Haruhi's sole more intensely. Like the golden visor, the chain was now a fixed part of the structure. Without the aid of a blow torch or a jack hammer, Haruhi was not getting free.

Oblivious to this fact, Haruhi was laughing happily. When I finally let go of her foot, she shouted with a wide smile, "Get away, you evil bastard!"

"Oh shit," I said to myself when I noticed the pillars in the room were changing color from diffuse white to a light green. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

I needed help. Though I hated to do it, I left Haruhi and rushed to the tunnel. I knew exactly who I needed in here. "YUKI!" I shouted down the tube. "I need you. Please come here." Then I rushed back to Haruhi's side.

I could tell her expression had changed. She really, really hated it when I left her alone.

"Sheesh, I was just kidding," she said, doing her best to hide her fear.

I ran my fingers along her side and stopped near her armpit.

Haruhi squealed. "Oh shit. Maybe not!" And I let the complaining girl have it again. She shifted and bucked and screamed with laughter as I squeezed her sensitive sides - but she wasn't going anywhere.

"Kyon." I heard Yuki's voice from the entrance of the cave. She stopped short of entering.

"Come on in," I told the lovely nude alien. "I need you. Haruhi is trapped."

"There is a risk. I should not enter."

"Why the hell not?!"

"The crystals are green. The process has started. There is a chance that if I enter, the globe will fall and crush both you and Miss Suzumiya."

"Oh fuck no!" I said. "That thing's got to weigh ten tons!"

Yuki looked up and squinted. "The sphere has a diameter of six feet, seven inches, matching the distance between the extremities of the structure beneath it. It is composed of a granite composite material with a density of 170 pounds per cubic foot." She looked back at me. "The sphere weighs 12.7 tons."

"Thanks for clarifying," I said as I shook my head. "So how do you know this? How do you know it will fall?" Haruhi groaned a little when I stopped teasing her. I ran my hand lightly over Haruhi's belly as I moved to the other side of the "X" so that the structure was between me and Yuki. "Did the drawings on the wall tell you that?"

"Yes. I have been able to deduce much of this room's purpose from the drawings."

"So what is this place?"

"It is a test chamber. I believe it was designed specifically for Haruhi Suzumiya." Yuki looked toward Haruhi's head. "She can not hear us?"

"Not a peep. She can't even tell when I'm tapping on the mask."

Yuki focused on the visor. "The apparatus is using active noise cancellation to cloak any sounds…" Yuki crooked her head. "Though it is feeding her a relaxing stream of soothing white noise at a barely audible volume. The visor is also emitting warm red hues, again, at a barely perceptible level." Yuki blinked. "Infrared analysis shows the temperature of the granite beneath Miss Suzumiya is several degrees warmer than that of the surrounding rock. It is very odd. Despite its restraining her, this apparatus is providing comfort and encouragement to Miss Suzumiya in it's own way at the same time."

I lifted my tongue off of a moaning Haruhi's right nipple. "Wow." I said. That actually explained a lot. Considering recent events, Haruhi was still surprisingly relaxed and comfortable. I had a feeling there was more to it than just my presence in the room. "What is this place?" I asked again.

"Though I only have a partial picture, what the cave walls reveal is fascinating. It seems to indicate that Suzumiya is the child of two gods, her celestial parents. Her sign, signified by her yellow hair band, is a halo. She has chosen to bond with you, a human, which is her right now that she has reached adulthood. I believe this room has been designed to test her potential mate's worthiness."

"What?"

"This is my best guess. I do not know for certain. This assessment is not based on hard data. Just my opinion of the legend revealed by these unusual hieroglyphics."

I thought Yuki's words as I playfully massaged the region between Haruhi's spread legs. "Were they afraid Haruhi was going to hook up with an evil alien or some other sort of unsavory humanoid entity?"

"No. I believe they feared that she was going to select a mortal human."

"Wait, Yuki. I AM A MORTAL HUMAN!"

Yuki remained silent.

"Damn it!" I kicked the side of the "X".

"OUCH!" shouted Haruhi as I accidentally twisted her left nipple. "That stings! You know, sometimes I wish guys had breasts so they could feel how sensitive they are!"

I bent down to lick, then kiss, the body part I had accidentally offended. "Sorry," I whispered as I rubbed her breast.

Haruhi sighed and smiled. "That's better."

"You are not at fault," Yuki said. "This was completely Miss Suzumiya's choice."

"Dammit Haruhi! You stubborn, strong-willed pain in the butt!" I placed her other nipple between my thumb and forefinger.

Haruhi, still totally oblivious to the reality of her predicament, tensed and squealed as she laughed. "Don't you dare, Kyon!"

Yuki pointed up at the globe - which I noticed was now spinning quite a bit faster than it was before. "You're time is limited. At some point in the near future, the globe will fall."

"What do I have to do to get her out of this? How does the test work?"

Yuki looked me directly in the eyes. "The potential life-mate must have sex with her."

Whoa! That was the best news I'd heard all day. But it made no sense. "How will it know anything about me if I do that?"

"The drawings indicate that there are two foot pads on the ground and two handles on the side. You must remain in contact with these items at all times during the probing process."

I looked down. Sure enough, there they were. Two angled-up golden pads for my feet. But I didn't see any handles on the side. Well, it was a start.

"So if I have sex with her, it might let her go?"

"As you have sex, the apparatus will determine your compatibility." She pointed to the crystal pillars. "After the test is completed, your mortal humanity will be confirmed. The pillars will turn red, confirming Haruhi's failed attempt to select you as her mate. The sphere will drop shortly after that."

I nodded. "So it's warning me, giving me time to escape."

"Yes. I believe so. I believe the apparatus at some level is benevolent. It understands that you are not at fault. Miss Suzumiya's mortal end will be quick and painless."

That last sentence floored me. "So what it comes down to is that if I'm not good enough for Haruhi, it's going to kill her?"

Yuki remained silent.

"Tell me Yuki! I want to know! Tell me everything!"

Yuki didn't blink. "If you fail, the sphere will fall, crushing Suzumiya. Her mortal life function will cease painlessly, and instantly, and her spirit will return… home. In addition the rotational force of the sphere, which is now spinning at 3014.8 revolutions per minute, will be transferred to the fragments created by the impact on that structure. This cavern will implode soon after these fragments impact the walls and it's supporting posts at supersonic speed."

That was damned sobering. I was almost sorry I asked. My brain struggled to find another solution. "What if I somehow figured out a way to wake her so she used her own powers to free herself? I could break her toe. That would make her act."

"I believe any attempts at cheating would lead the apparatus to immediately kill you both."

Of course it would. "Okay," I said. "I think I know what I need to know. Please leave us now. I don't want you to get hurt."

Yuki nodded, then turned and departed.

No, things didn't look good. I knew that Nagato was right more than 99.999% of the time. But there was no hard data this time. Just stupid pictures. Like the pictures I that showed me how to assemble an IKEA bookcase a few days ago. And I botched that job completely!

Bad analogy. Nagato wouldn't have botched the bookcase.

Still, here I was, looking down at the most beautiful yet most vulnerable and helpless goddess in the universe. And I knew why. Haruhi had complete faith in me.

Despite Yuki's warnings, I knew things were going to work out. I was going to pass this test! There was no doubt in my mind...

because…

because...

because good things happen when Haruhi Suzumiya is naked, dammit! This was a universal law!

I stepped between Haruhi's spread legs. The placement of the foot pads was perfect. Not in the sense that it was designed exactly for me. I imagined this setup would work for a guy one foot shorter or one foot taller. But it did afford me perfect access to her pussy. I chuckled. "Obscenely available" is the way Haruhi would have put it.

I knelt down in front of Haruhi and moved the tip of my tongue toward her pussy. Haruhi squealed excitedly when it brushed against her clitoris.

"Oh yeah!" she said with a deep breath. "Yes Kyon, please. Put it in. I'm _totally _ready, you evil bastard!"

Despite the gravity of the situation, I chuckled. Leave it to Haruhi to turn a naked treasure hunt into a life and death struggle.

I started stripping off my clothes. Once I removed an item I tossed it over Haruhi's torso and let it fall to the ground. Haruhi giggled as each piece slid off her body and onto the floor. Finally I stood there fully naked, with the hardest erection of my life.

I placed my bare feet on the gold footrests and moved forward, slowly pushing my way inside of Haruhi's gloriously tight vagina. She gasped. I started to move myself slowly in and out of her. Haruhi was very wet. Yes, finally, here was a perfect fit for _me_. I pushed myself into her as far as I could go. When I hit the back of Haruhi's vagina, "Click, click," two bars popped out of the side of the structure.

Damn. These guys thought of everything, didn't they? I bent forward encouraged by the structure's recognition of my presence, and took hold of the golden bars like I was riding a motorcycle. Except what I was riding now was way, way, way more fun. As soon as I tightened my grip around the posts, I felt a strange current. It didn't stop me though. I was going to do this sex thing right. I kept pumping Haruhi as a green plasma field of some sort started to envelope us. The greenish field matched the colors of the crystal posts.

Was this the apparatus's way of probing me? I couldn't tell. But one thing I could tell was that the sex was phenomenal. The expression on Haruhi's face and the sounds she was making made it obvious Haruhi was feeling it, too.

I felt myself on the edge of climaxing several times, but it seemed as if the machine wasn't quite done probing me yet. Since it kept us from coming, the intensity of the pleasure we were experiencing ramped up to an unimaginably high level. Haruhi and I were approaching a new miraculously, unhumanly high peak.

Finally the bubble burst, and I came into Haruhi with amazing force. A bright flash of green light burst out from us and Haruhi screamed at the top of her lungs as I filled her with copious amounts of my modified semen. I nearly blacked out from the intensity of the release.

Then the place went silent. The green plasma was gone as the white light returned. I backed up slowly, pulling myself out of an equally exhausted but very content Haruhi Suzumiya. I looked around and waited. The sphere was still spinning, now faster than ever.

"What are you waiting for?" I shouted at the thing. "Let her go!"

I looked down at Haruhi. The beautiful girl looked so peaceful and content. I rested my hand on her leg and rubbed her thigh. "_I'm here."_

My heart nearly stopped when the pillars turned a bright red. I looked up. The sphere was spinning so fast it was a blur. It was now wobbling a bit as well.

"LET HER GO!" I shouted.

The sphere lurched toward the ground a few inches with loud movements of rocks above. A few stones fell from the ceiling past the spinning globe and shot off to the side.

The device was warning me.

The room was now bathed in pulsing blood red light. The machine had made its decision. It was time for me to go...

Time to head off to my happy foreordained life with the lovely Mikuru Asahina...

I looked down at Haruhi, who was oblivious to all that was happening - and I kissed her. The girl, still glowing from her incomprehensible orgasm, smiled sweetly. Her last memory would be her best.

With my hands resting on her legs, I looked over at the tunnel's circular entrance.

Then I crawled back up onto the granite "X", and I laid on top of her, covering, holding and protecting Haruhi the best that I could manage. I turned my gaze back up toward the granite sphere -

- and gave it the finger!

"FUCK YOU! YOU BASTARDS! I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!"

The room was now pulsating with intermittent bright, then dim, red flashes. I looked up one final time as a blinding flash of green light originating above the sphere enveloped the room. A green plasma pulse shook the cavern, knocking the wind out of me.

It was the sign. The sign that the end of the process had begun. The sign that the spinning granite sphere had been set free.

Time nearly stopped, events transpired in ultra slow motion as 12.7 tons of spinning granite death came rushing down toward us.

No.

This was not how it was going to end. I was sure of that. I don't know how I knew that, but I _knew_. I felt strangely different... deep inside. And that _something_ inside of me knew what to do. For some reason - it was a reflex - I pointed my index finger toward the falling sphere. Then, as if I were scolding a bad dog, I angrily but confidently shouted at the thing-

"NO!"

I didn't believe what happened next, though I _did _believe it - because I _knew _it would happen. _I had decided it would happen_. The sphere exploded in mid air. Thousands of chunks of granite shot out towards the walls of the cavern. Carried along by the incredible centripetal force, these chunks crashed into the side walls. The red crystal supports were also pulverized, the flying debris breaking them into millions of razor-sharp shards of glass that scattered throughout the cavern like a lethal swarm of bats.

But not a molecule hit us. Instead the debris deflected wide as if bouncing off of some sort of invisible protective dome - _a dome I was generating._

With the pillars were gone, the room was dark. But I could still see. Haruhi and I were glowing… green.

I knew the cavern was about to collapse. We had to get out. I pointed towards the rod near Haruhi's left wrist and made a fist. The granite about it exploded, freeing the chain. I pointed at the J-hook at her right hand - and the granite around it exploded as well. I didn't need to look at the hooks near Haruhi's ankles. The sounds of the explosions told me what I needed to know. I took hold of the visor - it came free with no effort - and I tossed it off to the side.

Haruhi gave me a crazy look. "What happened, Kyon?" She started blinking. "Hey, you look green!" She smiled and put her hand on my cheek. "That is so cool! Are you radioactive or something?"

I smiled and showed Haruhi her hand. "You're glowing, too." We both jumped, reacting to the sound of several chunks of rock falling near us. "I hate to cut the party short, but we need to get the hell out of here," I said as I pulled the open bracelets off of her wrists and ankles. "This cavern is about to collapse."

"Huh?" She looked around, but the lights were off. She couldn't see a thing - besides me... and the escape tunnel. "Dammit Kyon! Did you step on a booby trap or something?"

"Something like that," I admitted. "I'm not sure. But we really need to go." I grabbed Haruhi's hand and led her toward the exit hole. We were out of the cavern and rushing down the tube towards the cave seconds later. The cavern collapsed moments after our escape, blowing dust through the tunnel ahead of us.

"What's happening?" Koizumi asked as we stepped out into the picture cave. The ground was shaking.

"The whole place is about to implode. We need to get out of here."

Koizumi nodded. We all ran to the narrow crevice entrance. Koizumi threw his shirt over Mikuru and pushed her through the narrow passage way. Yuki followed without a hitch.

"After you." I bowed and motioned for Haruhi to go first. She did.

As I was squeezing through the crevice, I could feel the earth trembling through the stone. The picture cave we had just come from was now collapsing. I dove out into the daylight, landing on my butt, seconds before the crevice closed up with a loud crunching sound.

"Wow!" Haruhi looked at me with wide eyes. "That was close! We almost got crushed like ants! We better get away from here. There might be boulders." Haruhi was right.

We jogged away from the crevice and stopped on the nearby grass patch where we left our backpacks. Then we turned to watch the hill. A few large rocks were dislodged as divots formed above the imploding caves. But we were now well out of harm's way.

Haruhi put her hands on her hips. "Darn! How sad. I guess nobody's going to be going into that cave again." It took several minutes for the hill to settle and for the noise to subside. We quietly looked on in awe. I wondered if this would show up on the government's seismographic meters. I was sure it would.

After the dust settled, Haruhi was the first to break the silence. She turned toward me, put her arms over her breasts and frowned. "KYON! Put some clothes on! You know how I feel about that kind of thing!"

Yes, I was still naked. Totally, butt naked. Just like Haruhi, since we both left our shoes and socks in the cave. All my clothes were still in there, too.

Koizumi smiled and searched through his pack. "I can help. I've got an extra pair of boxers you can wear." Of course he did. He tossed me the shorts.

"And you can probably squeeze into my t-shirt," Haruhi added. She giggled. "Though you'll look a little silly." She put her hands on her smooth bare hips. "But that's a fitting penalty for forgetting your clothes!"

Koizumi looked down. "Neither of you have shoes."

"That's okay," Haruhi said. "It's a pretty smooth trail. My feet can handle a few rocks and twigs."

I looked down at my normally hyper-sensitive soft-soled feet. Then over at Haruhi's. "I won't have any trouble either," I said confidently.

* * *

**A/N: A big thanks to those of you who made it this far. So what happened to Kyon? If you've read my story "Giving Up Control" you've probably got a hint. Nothing wrong with stealing an idea from your own story, right? Although I'm 100% sure I'm not the first to use it. **

**By the way, the story Haruhi told about the girl in the glass house in Santiago is completely true. Also, I just googled "Lamborghini" and it brought up an article about how that company is now selling tractors in India. Go figure.**

**As always, thanks for checking in dear reader! - Al Ling  
**


	6. Tying the Knot

.

**The Nudity of Haruhi Suzumiya**

by Alfonso Ling

**Chapter 6: Tying the Knot**

As I suspected, I had no problems navigating the rocky terrain with my bare feet. Since there really was no trail between the crevice and our next landmark, the ledge, the going looked rough at first. Fortunately our wise (and also barefoot) leader used the map. After leading us up hill about twenty yards, Haruhi was able to get us back onto a relatively smooth trail that joined up with the trail that led to the clearing where we had lunch. I immediately noticed that walking downhill with a heavy backpack was much easier than hiking up that hill.

With her bright yellow hairband as her only adornment, Haruhi was laughing and smiling and spinning in the sunlight. She and Mikuru were walking side by side, taking the lead. Mikuru, though less animated than Haruhi, was clearly having a ball as well. As I watched their gorgeous bare bottoms sway from side to side, in sync as the girls matched each others pace, I couldn't help but get the feeling they were sisters, totally enjoying some quality naked-time together.

"You really missed out, Mikuru!" Haruhi chirped as she skipped along the trail.

"I'm sure I did," an uncharacteristically playful Mikuru shot back at the Brigade leader. "Whatever you two were doing in there, it sure brought down the house!" Mikuru lightly smacked Haruhi on the bum.

It was an amazing moment. Mikuru's decision to share in Haruhi's nudity was bringing the two girls closer. Though I wasn't sure why this was happening, my guess was that Mikuru was starting to see that there were less differences between them than she had imagined. With no physical barriers, no arm bands denoting superiority, and a slight lead in the breast size department (though both girls sported spectacular bosoms), Mikuru's confidence around Haruhi got a boost. I don't think she viewed herself as the SOS Brigade leader's equal. Still, sharing the unique and exhilarating experience of being one with nature together was strengthening the bond between them. I sensed Haruhi and Mikuru were becoming much better friends... hmmm...

In the same way that Koizumi and I were growing much more tolerant of each other... how about that?

It was a silly saying, but it was true; Good things happen when Haruhi Suzumiya is naked.

Haruhi put her hand over the spot on her bum Mikuru had tapped. It was one of the few times I've ever seen Haruhi speechless. The redness of her blush radiated out from her face over her body. "I guess the earth kinda moved for us," she said sheepishly. Then she looked back at me and smiled with a gleam in her eye.

I pointed at my bare midriff.

"You deserve that!" Haruhi shouted, shifting back to Brigade leader mode.

Mikuru and Haruhi were now chasing each other, playing pinch-the-nipple and smack-the-bum games, while running far ahead of us. Koizumi, no doubt enjoying the show, tried his best to keep up, while Yuki and I lagged behind. I could tell that Yuki wanted to talk to me.

"I am pleased to see that you are both alive," she said.

I shrugged. "I guess I passed the test."

Yuki looked up at me with this strange look of respect. "Then you are a very special person. The cave drawings did not indicate that this outcome was possible. Miss Suzumiya's coupling with a mortal human being should not be viable."

One of Yuki's words jumped out at me. "Coupling? What do you mean by that?"

"You and Miss Suzumiya are now coupled. You are, for lack of a better term, husband and wife. The apparatus has bound you together in an ethereal manner."

"Ethereal? What does _that _mean?"

"A proper analogy would be a church wedding. You and Miss Suzumiya have been joined together with the blessing and approval of a higher power." Yuki turned and looked me in the eyes. "Till death do you part."

I returned a shocked look at first. But after the mist cleared from my brain, I was feeling very good about it. Haruhi Suzumiya was my wife. I really liked it in a crazy sort of way. Fortunately Haruhi had no idea this had happened.

Or did she?

* * *

The girls kept their natural outfits on as long as they could, stopping at a grass patch just before the last bend to dress. Haruhi once again insisted on privacy as the girls "changed" from their natural outfits into their regular clothes.

Koizumi and I shrugged, smiled, and shook our heads, before finding a comfortable seat on the ground to wait for them. For some strange reason, I sensed that we were all disappointed that the girls' natural uniforms were getting packed away. Even Yuki seemed a little sad.

Haruhi, now looking totally unnatural - though still very sexy - in her bra and pink skirt, walked up to me with a smirk on her face and her hand outstretched. "Give it up, Kyon." I didn't mind. I felt kind of silly wearing her T-shirt to begin with. It was way too tight on me. I pulled it off and handed it to her. I tilted my head and looked up as she turned away and pulled the shirt over her body.

Haruhi glanced over her shoulder. "Hey," she said. "Stop trying to peek up my skirt! What are you? Some kind of pervert?!" I quickly turned my gaze down toward the ground - feeling like a glutton who, after finishing a twelve course meal at a fine restaurant, was now getting chewed out for eating half a mint.

Yes, I was a little stunned - at first. But then Haruhi grinned at me and put out her hand to help me up to my feet. By this time Koizumi was laughing pretty hard. I smiled, too. Haruhi's jokes were getting better.

Ironically, the five of us approached the trail head with less than we started. Haruhi lacked her socks and shoes, while I lacked every single article of clothing I had brought. It seemed fitting that I exited the cavern in my birthday suit, because on some level I had been reborn. Deep inside of me I knew that I had gained something in that cavern; that I wasn't the same Kyon. I was coming home with something special - and extremely powerful - deep inside of me. Something that would take a lot of time and care to figure out.

Tsuruya, who noticed our approach toward her house, stepped outside to greet us. She just giggled when we saw me in my boxers but didn't ask any embarrassing questions. "I've got some sweat pants and sandals you can borrow for your trip home."

* * *

After a grueling day of hiking, we all snoozed on the train ride home. I opened my eyes from time to time to peek at Haruhi, who was leaning up against Mikuru. The girls were nearly back to back with Mikuru's head resting on Haruhi's shoulder. Both were sleeping peacefully. I scanned the floor beneath them, noting the location of the borrowed sandals that had fallen of Haruhi's feet, and I sighed.

The next day was Monday, a school day, so five groggy SOS Brigade members disbursed at the train station and headed home. It was dark when I finally stepped through the front door of my house. I walked directly up to my bedroom, put on my pajamas, and fell back on the bed.

I thought I'd pass out easily, but now that I was alone my mind wouldn't let me sleep. I kept thinking about the cavern; about the globe; about the change that occurred when that last bright green flash of plasma filled the room. What in the world happened to me? How was I able to do what I did?

I kept peeking at the alarm clock. The tall red LED display was starting to annoy me as the numbers took me deeper and deeper into the night. With a chuckle, I pointed at the damned thing and made a fist, imagining it blowing up into a million pieces.

"BOOM!" There was a loud bang and flash of light as the alarm clock blew up right in front of my eyes! I looked around. Pieces were strewn everywhere across my room! Wow! I did that?

A split second later, an image flashed into my brain. An image as clear and bright as if I were there, taking the picture. It was an image of me, laying on top of a helpless, vulnerable but smiling Haruhi Suzumiya, tightly stretched out across the 'X' structure as the globe was falling.

It was a message. I don't know where the message came from but the intent was clear. I had been given great power - for a reason. It was my duty to watch over and protect this girl. Blowing up annoying alarm clocks was not on the list of approved actions.

I spread out the fingers of my right hand and slowly brought them together into a fist. As I did, the alarm clock reassembled itself. As I watched the last piece fit into place, the numbers flipped from 01:59 AM to 02:00 AM. I laid my head back on my pillow, and passed out.

I don't remember dreaming. Instead, the second after I closed my eyes, I was roused by the doorbell ringing. The clock read 06:00 AM. Where had the night gone?

"Kyon's still sleeping," I heard my bratty little sister loudly inform the visitor - no doubt for my benefit. "And there's no way you'll be able to wake him! At least not for the next hour. Trust me. I know."

I couldn't hear the reply from the more circumspect adult she was speaking to. At least it was someone who assumed people would still be asleep at this hour! I had a pretty good idea who it was.

My little sister was right. I was wiped out. There was no way I was getting up a minute sooner than I had to. In fact there was no way I was getting up when I had to. I felt like a sack of potatoes. And this exhausted sack of potatoes passed out on his soft marshmallow pillow without a twinge of guilt. Koizumi would have to wait.

I was somewhat glad for the disturbance because it seemed to jump start my brain. Despite the shortage of restful hours, I was feeling much better and my mind was wandering again. Images of perfect naked boobs and firm round bottoms floated in and out of my brain, making my cock feel great in the process. Nothing like some morning wood to take the edge off. I sighed softly. I loved these types of early morning dreams.

"Yes, Haruhi," I sighed, calling out the name of the first girl that came to mind. "Yes. That's so nice."

Suddenly I was startled by a giggle. I quickly lifted my head and looked down the bed. There, on her belly on top of my blanket in her school uniform laid Haruhi Suzumiya, her sock-covered ankles playfully crossed above her skirt-covered bottom, her mouth gently bobbing up and down on my rock hard cock.

"Haruhi!" I gasped. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Haruhi lifted her mouth off of my penis and smiled. "Your sister said there was no way in the world anybody could wake you up before seven o'clock. So I accepted that challenge!" She winked. "Don't worry I locked the door. Just don't be too loud when you come, okay?" Haruhi lowered her head and took me back into her mouth.

I laid back, my fists gripping the sheets, and looked up at the ceiling with unfocused eyes. What a wonderful wake up call.

Haruhi worked me slowly and gently. She clearly enjoyed giving this blowjob as much as I was enjoying my role on the receiving end. She was stretching it out for all it was worth.

When she sensed me tensing, close to climax, Haruhi dialed down the intensity of her oral assault. When I relaxed, she turned up the heat again. It was driving me crazy! Finally, when she felt that she'd teased me enough, Haruhi went full bore, pushing me deep into her throat while massaging my balls. She choked a little when I exploded into her, but recovered quickly.

I did my best to suppress a scream, turning my face into my pillow and biting the fabric instead. After about twenty blasts of ejaculatory bliss, I was spent - and Haruhi's mouth was filled with breakfast. It took a couple swallows for the chipmunk-cheeked girl to down it all.

"You look so funny when you come," she giggled. Haruhi patted my balls and pulled up my pajama pants, before snuggling up next to me under the sheets. She let me hold her for about a minute before she pushed me away and said, "Okay, enough. Come on, Kyon. Get dressed. No more putzing around! I'm walking you to school today."

My sister looked on in stunned silence when Haruhi and I walked out the door just before the kitchen clock flipped to 6:30. "How did you do that?" she asked after us. "Miss Suzumiya, please teach me your secret!"

Haruhi and I looked at each other for a couple seconds - and laughed.

* * *

Walking hand in hand with a fully clothed Haruhi Suzumiya through the city streets was a nice change of pace. Although I've walked home with Haruhi after club countless times, I couldn't recall a time when we walked to school together in the morning.

"This is fun," I said, looking over at her. "Walking with you to school. But I'm having a hard time believing you only stopped by for breakfast."

Haruhi turned toward me with a concerned expression. "I wasn't able to sleep at all last night. I mean, I tried. You know, I started. But when I closed my eyes, all I could think about was being with you in that cavern."

"That was a pretty intense lovemaking session we had, wasn't it."

Haruhi's eyes widened. "Was it ever! I start to come just thinking about it! Seriously! That was amazing!"

I smiled. "Too bad I leveled the place."

Haruhi grabbed my arm and looked up into my eyes. "Kyon, how did we do that? And why were we glowing like that?"

What was I going to say? I considered telling Haruhi the truth, but the device had gone to great pains to keep Haruhi in the dark. It didn't seem wise to change that.

"I'm not sure," I finally said. "Maybe I tripped on something or we set something off."

"Like in one of those Indiana Jones movies?" Haruhi giggled. "Like that scene where the cave collapses and that great big rock rolls after him?"

I shrugged. "Something like that. And I think the glow was some sort of black light effect." I held up my hand. "We don't seem to be glowing any more."

Haruhi stopped and gave me a serious look. "Kyon, we did something in there."

I laughed. "Hell yes, we did. I was there, remember?"

"No. I mean something special happened. Between us." Haruhi looked at me with soft vulnerable eyes. "Kyon. I think we got married."

I wasn't sure how to react. How did Haruhi know this?

"Since I couldn't sleep, I got on my laptop and started researching all I could find out about the cavern we were in and that crazy 'X' thing. For some reason I remembered something about the ancient Ainu tribes who lived on the Japanese islands way before anybody. So I started doing some research on that. And what I found out was nuts!" I could feel Haruhi's hand gripping mine more tightly as she spoke. "The ancient Ainu wedding ceremony involved a sort of mock sacrifice to the gods. In their ceremony, the bride was tied to this 'X'-shaped altar. Then her virginity was taken by the groom under a full moon!"

"Well I think we missed the virginity boat," I joked. Haruhi punched me in the arm.

"Seriously Kyon! When I looked at the drawings of the ritual, it looked exactly like the stuff in the cavern we were in. That big globe represented the full moon! And when you, you know," Haruhi giggled, "tied me to that thing and _took_ me," her voice softened, "you were making me yours."

I gave Haruhi a sly smile. "So does that mean you're mine? To do with whatever I wish?"

Haruhi turned and looked away. "Almost. There's still one part of the ceremony we haven't done."

"Will this part be as much fun as the cavern?"

Haruhi turned back to me and tilted her head. "That depends. How hungry are you?"

Haruhi took my hand and pulled me down an alleyway, in the opposite direction of North High. After a quick five minute walk through some back streets I found myself standing in front of the Ling Chong Chinese restaurant. I pulled open the door and let Haruhi enter.

"Good morning, Haruhi!" An older lady standing behind the counter waved at us. "Why you here so early? We not open for two hour." The lady had a heavy Chinese accent. "You come to help Sam make egg rolls?"

"I'll be quick, Margie!" Haruhi shouted as we walked past the woman. "Just gotta whip something up on the grill."

Haruhi leaned over and spoke softly into my ear. "Margie and her husband Sam run this place. Have for about 30 years. The old lady loves me but she doesn't hear too well." Haruhi sat me down at a booth near the back of the restaurant, "Wait here. I'll be right back," and ran off to the kitchen. I waited patiently while Haruhi commandeered the grill. When I looked over toward Margie, who was updating menus by the register, she looked over with a kind smile and a shrug. I chuckled. Yes, she knew Haruhi well.

Haruhi returned ten minutes later with a tray holding a pot of tea, two small cups, and a bowl full of the best smelling fried rice I've ever laid my nose on. She set the items on the table and sat down in the seat opposite me. She pushed the fragrant, steaming bowl toward me.

"Here's the thing. We didn't get officially engaged yet. We can't be officially married unless we get officially engaged."

I looked down at the bowl and picked up a set of chopsticks. "Aren't we doing things a little backwards?"

Haruhi ignored my question. "This is how it works." She waved her hands over the bowl. "You eat half this bowl of rice. Then you push it towards me. That represents you asking me to marry you. Then I have a decision to make. I have to decide whether I want to eat my half of the rice or not. If I eat it, that means I accept your marriage proposal. If I refuse it, that means I refuse you."

I felt a pang in my gut when she said this. I thought our coupling was a sure thing, but now I was starting to worry.

I think Haruhi was reading my mind. She took my hand and said, "Relax, Kyon. _I'm gonna eat the rice!_"

Damn I loved this girl.

So I started eating my half out of the bowl. Haruhi silently looked on with the most pleased expression, knowing that I was asking her to marry me with each bite I took. It was so real to her. When I finished my portion, I slid the bowl forward across the table. Haruhi picked up her chopsticks and with a bright happy smile, started eating. It didn't take long until her chopsticks held the last morsel aloft.

"I accept!" she said, as she downed the last bite of rice. Then she licked the bowl clean for good measure and set it down in front of me with a thud.

"Does that mean we're officially married?" I asked the beaming girl.

Haruhi slid out of her seat, stepped around the booth table, and slid up next to me. As she put her arms around my neck, I put my arms around her waist. We pulled each other close without a word, our heads tilting slightly as our faces drew near.

Then our lips met for our first official kiss as husband and wife.

* * *

**A/N: Well I went and did it. I married Haruhi and Kyon, sort of, just in time for Thanksgiving! I did a little research about getting married in Japan and it turns out that a guy can marry at the age of 18 and a girl can get married at 16 - with parental consent. Without consent both the guy and girl have to be 20. But since my stories tend to take place in a somewhat Americanized version of Japan, I used 18 as the generally accepted age for being able to legally do just about anything.**


	7. Twenty Questions

.

**The Nudity of Haruhi Suzumiya**

by Alfonso Ling

**Chapter 7: Twenty Questions  
**

Our first week back home was, to say the least, interesting. I know I'm making it sound like we all returned from some long vacation in a foreign country instead of from a simple day hike up a hill, but for some reason it felt that way. Throughout the week I thought continually about my experience in the cavern - analyzing every aspect, re-analyzing every detail - till it felt like I'd been in there for weeks.

The banal reality of my school routine seemed so meaningless now. Haruhi and I had gotten married! But nobody knew about it. And we decided not to tell anybody about it either. At least not at first.

Of course, Yuki knew. And I assumed Koizumi suspected as well when he told me that he no longer held to his theory that I was destined to marry Mikuru. Had someone in the Organization informed him? How would they even know? Still, Koizumi had connections I knew nothing about.

Mikuru was the only one who seemed out of the loop, chiefly due to her pregnancy I think. She was carrying Natsume in her womb. We could all tell that something was different. The hormones raging through Mikuru's body were inducing crazy mood swings. One minute she'd be her happy bouncy self. The next moment she'd be in tears, concerned about a difficult homework assignment or something equally unimportant.

She wasn't showing yet. I wasn't sure what Mikuru's handlers were going to do once it became obvious to everyone that she had a bun in the oven. Calculating forward from the day I impregnated her with my Haruhi-enhanced super sperm, I knew she still had a couple months to go before anybody would notice a baby bump.

Surprisingly Natsume didn't have any answers either. For "classified" reasons Natsume, through Koizumi, told me that she had to keep her distance from Mikuru and me. At least until she was born.

Which would be very soon, she told Koizumi. What did that mean? Then again, when you're dealing with a time traveler what meaning does time really have?

I could tell from the start that Haruhi was going to try to run this marriage in much the same way she ran the SOS Brigade. And as was the case with many of her hare-brained schemes, we didn't agree on much. One thing we both did agree on, however, was making the marriage official.

I knew _exactly _why I was going ahead with this thing. The experience I had in the cavern was profound. It changed me. I don't know what it was… but it _was!_ I know that makes no sense, but I could feel it! If I were to accept the story Nagato related, the story she gleaned from those cave walls, I was sensing the presence and guidance of Haruhi's celestial parents. I don't know if the parent thing was true or not, but I definitely felt the presence of _some _dynamic force.

In that cavern, as that spinning globe fell, I had been willing to give my life to stay with Haruhi Suzumiya. I was beginning to realize that this offering of my life wasn't a one time deal. I could almost hear the celestial presence chuckling, "_She's your problem now... muko-dono!" _

(By the way dear readers, muko-dono is Japanese for son-in-law.)

To our surprise, our earthly parents had absolutely no problem with this. Then again, maybe _absolutely_ is a strong word. Haruhi said her father just shook his head and accepted her explanation quietly. I guessed that after living with this girl full-time for eighteen years, he knew better than to get in her way. Heck, he may actually have been happy to hand over the reins, just like her celestial parents had been.

My mom was philosophical about the whole thing. She sat me down and talked to me for about an hour, warning me that marriage wasn't something you just jumped in to without thinking. If Haruhi and I were determined to go ahead with this, I would have my mom's blessing. But she wouldn't let it be an extension of a high school romance. We would be husband and wife; on our own; in our own place; earning our own money; independent. If we were going to do this, she said, it was going to be real.

To me, it was already real. I knew in my heart that I had given myself to Haruhi. And somehow Haruhi knew that she had given herself to me just as earnestly. I don't think she had a clue that she had been milliseconds away from being crushed. Still, the experience in the cavern somehow made an equally profound impression on her. I sensed that on some deep suppressed subconscious level, Haruhi knew everything.

Of course on the conscious level, Haruhi had no doubt that she knew everything. She knew where we were going to live. She knew what we were going to do. She knew how many kids we were going to have and what their names were going to be. I think she even had my wardrobe all planned out.

* * *

"I've been doing a lot of research on this, Kyon, and one thing that's clear is that if you want to have a successful marriage, you've got to communicate! Communication is _key!_"

"That makes sense. How -"

"Right now that's pretty easy for us, but someday it won't just be the two of us, you know."

"You mean -"

"That's right! We're gonna have kids! Two of em! No. Wait. Make that _four_ kids! That way each one will have both a brother and a sister. I read somewhere that you really miss out if you don't have that. Didn't you always wish you had a brother, Kyon?"

"Well, I -"

"With four kids we'll need a big house. And I'm going to be doing a lot of writing so I'll need one with a nice view. You know, so I can be inspired. After all, who can write when all they've got to look at is a brick wall?"

"You're going to write?"

"Yes I am! I've already got an idea for my first book. Plus the cool thing about me being a writer is that we can spend lots of time together at home!" Haruhi patted my package. "You know what that means! They say that a couple's sex drive plummets after they get married, but that's not how it's going to be with us!" Haruhi winked.

"That's -"

"Besides, if we're gonna make four little rug rats we'll need to stay busy!"

"Four is a -"

"I haven't really set my mind on four. Maybe we can make five! You know, add a bonus baby! And we won't find out what it is till we have it. Of course that means that two of our kids will have two brothers _and_ two sisters."

"Suppose we have four -"

"Yes, Kyon, I know what you're thinking, but I read somewhere that if we time it just right we can choose what type of baby we're going to get!" Haruhi put her hand up to her chin. "But that would mean that some days we'd have to abstain… No, that won't work!" She sighed. "Don't worry, I'll figure it out!"

We made a habit that first week of spending our lunches together; outside, alone, sitting on the grassy area between the two academic buildings, under a tree. And what I related above is a pretty accurate sample of how our conversations usually went.

And, yes. It was driving me crazy!

Haruhi and I now made no effort to hide the fact that we were now an official high school couple; though still only boyfriend and girlfriend under Japanese law.

Our SOS Brigade meetings after school were becoming more abbreviated, Haruhi dismissing everyone earlier each day so that she could spend time with me. I didn't really mind. I was smart enough to know that I'd eventually want to tear my hair out if this continued forever, though. But we were still in the afterglow phase of our marriage and I loved being in this beautiful girl's company, despite her bossiness.

Koizumi and Nagato didn't mind this change at all. Since meeting Natsume, Koizumi's mind - and often his body - was always elsewhere anyways. Nagato… well she was Nagato; a very self-contained individual.

Mikuru was the hardest hit by the change.

For some reason Mikuru was looking so much sexier in her maid outfit. I didn't realize what it was until she bent forward to serve me tea one day. Mikuru's blouse was unbuttoned down to her breasts - and she wasn't wearing a bra! Damn! I imagined she wasn't wearing panties either. I was never so tempted to drop my pen on the floor, but I knew getting caught peeking up Mikuru's skirt would buy me a huge penalty.

I was pretty sure Haruhi picked up on Mikuru's wardrobe, um, reduction before I did. After all, she was usually in the club room when Mikuru changed, so I was sure it didn't bother her. Heck, for all I knew it was Haruhi's idea! As I mentioned before, their relationship seemed to be undergoing a profound change. Spending time as "naked sisters" had given rise to a strange equalizing effect. The normally docile Mikuru, realizing that the naked Haruhi wasn't all that different from her, was actually starting to give as much as she was getting.

The depth of this sisterly bonding phenomenon was made clear to me when I walked up to the SOS Brigade club room after classes that Friday.

Before going to the club room that day I had made my usual stop at my locker, where I found a note telling me I should meet Nagato in the library first. When I got to the library, Nagato was there. But she'd been given a note to meet _me!_ I knew Koizumi hadn't written these notes. He spent most Friday's after school with Natsume.

I was pretty sure I recognized the handwriting. But why the ruse?

Nagato was in no hurry to leave the library, so I fast-walked my way over to the club room by myself. The club rooms were still on the other side of campus, so it took me a little while to get there. When I got to the door I stopped for a few seconds to catch my breath.

As I extended my knuckles to knock, I heard a loud muffled scream - a scream which would have rocked the entire wing if it hadn't been muffled! I burst through the door and was shocked to see a grinning maid Mikuru Asahina playfully torturing a helpless but elated Haruhi Suzumiya.

"What's going on?" I asked as I shut the door and locked it behind me.

The sexy maid looked at me with a shocked expression. "Oh my, I'm so sorry, Kyon! I know made sure the door was locked!" (I didn't consider until later that it probably _was _locked at the time - but in the heat of the moment I had somehow wished it open.)

I scanned the scene. There on the center table laid a bound and gagged SOS Brigade leader dressed in nothing but her dark, knee-high socks. It looked like Mikuru had put the three sets of handcuffs stored in Haruhi's drawer to good use - on one naked girl.

Haruhi looked quite helpless on her belly with her wrists cuffed behind her back. A second set of handcuffs - I imagined these were officially Yuki's - fastened Haruhi's sock-covered ankles together. And Mikuru's own personal set of cuffs was used to connect the other two cuffs, leaving Haruhi hogtied. I guess hog-cuffed would be a better word for it. At first I thought her yellow hair band was missing, but then I was very pleased to see that it had been used to tie Haruhi's hair back into a very sexy ponytail.

Haruhi looked up at me with big crazy eyes, her face and hair damp from sweat. Her mouth had been stuffed with a white cloth, which was held in place by the several loops of clear packing tape wound about her head. "So that's how you're keeping her so quiet," I noted.

Mikuru winked at me. "This girl just refuses to give up."

That's when I noticed that Mikuru's right hand was between Haruhi's thighs. The buzzing noise made it clear that Mikuru was holding a vibrator up against Haruhi's most sensitive region. The vibrating white ball at the end of the device seemed to be driving Haruhi wild. Soon the mechanical onslaught became more than she could handle, and Haruhi struggled and bucked in an effort to reduce the intensity of the stimulation; at which point Mikuru turned her full attention back to her prisoner, pushing Haruhi's legs down with one arm while continuing the merciless teasing with the other.

"She's had seven orgasms already." Mikuru smacked the side of Haruhi's bare bottom. "But she refuses to admit defeat!" Mikuru giggled sweetly and glanced down. "Do you give up yet, Haruhi?"

With beads of perspiration running down her face and glassy unfocused eyes, Haruhi blinked and shouted "Wehwah!" into her gag as she shook her head from side to side. I think she was trying to say, "_Never!"_

"Okay then. You asked for it!" Mikuru turned the vibrator to its top setting and pressed it home against Haruhi's clitoris. Haruhi arched her back with bulging eyes as another forced orgasm wracked her body. It was a marvelous thing to behold. Even Mikuru offered an impressed, "Wow!", as Haruhi screamed into her gag.

After shuddering on the table for several seconds, Haruhi collapsed.

Mikuru turned off the vibrator and held it up, showing me the glistening wet ball. With a sweet mischievous smile she winked at me. "Payback."

I walked over to Haruhi; her cheek was resting on the table. Though the exhausted girl was breathing heavily through her nose, she looked very content. I extended my hand out to Mikuru, who handed me the handcuff key. After removing the set of handcuffs connecting Haruhi's ankles to her wrists but leaving her wrists and ankles cuffed, I lifted the girl off of the table, carried her to the back of the room, and sat her down in her chair behind the commander's desk. I attached Haruhi's wrists to the back of her chair with the extra set of cuffs, before returning to my seat at my station.

After flipping open my laptop, I looked over at our silent Brigade leader; who was waiting to see what would happen next. "I like it this way," I said. "We should have more of our meetings like this." Haruhi just glared at me, though I could tell she was having fun.

Her eyes betrayed a little bit of anger, though, when Mikuru, who wasn't done playing, walked over to me and "accidentally" knocked my pencil to the ground. "I'm sorry," she said as she turned and bent over to get it. With her legs straight and her bum hovering right near my face, Mikuru playfully flipped up the back of her skirt, confirming that she was indeed not wearing panties.

Let's be honest here. My cock was hard as a rock to begin with after watching Haruhi's performance. But the closeup of Mikuru's awesome backside changed "hard as a rock" to "hard as diamond". I didn't complain a bit when Mikuru turned my chair around and got on her knees in front of me. She had my zipper down in no time, and my manhood in her mouth soon after that. Although I was having the time of my life as Mikuru was blowing me, Haruhi looked very sad.

"HMMFFFF!" Haruhi's disapproval echoed through the room as I gripped my chair, closed my eyes, and filled Mikuru's soft warm mouth full of my nutritious love cream.

When Haruhi started crying, I knew I had to act. "Oh damn." I turned to Mikuru. "Could you please leave us alone for a couple minutes?"

By this time Mikuru had a very guilty wide-eyed look on her face that clearly said "_I'm so sorry!"_

My nod silently replied, "_It's okay. Please get out of here."_

Mikuru grabbed her school uniform from the rack on her way to the door and left the club room without turning back. I walked over to Haruhi who, despite her tears, still looked very sexy cuffed to that chair. She squealed when I tilted her chair back and slid it out in front of her desk so she was facing the front wall and the door. Then I pulled my chair over and sat across from her.

"I'm really sorry about that," I said as I put my hand on Haruhi's leg. "Things just kind of took off. You know how I get when you get naked." I shrugged. "And you _did_ make Mikuru the official erection tamer."

Haruhi nodded. "Hmm-hmmfff." She looked so sad. I reached over to the shelf, grabbed a Kleenex out of the box, and used it to wipe the tears off of Haruhi's cheeks, shoulders and breasts.

"You and I are married now, so things will have to change." Haruhi nodded. I reached my hands forward and started massaging my wife's full perfect breasts. "I like you like this," I said. "With your bracelets on. It reminds me of the cavern."

I could tell Haruhi's mood was changing. That special look was returning to her eyes. She looked down at my lap. And yes, sitting across from this gorgeous, naked girl had gotten me going again.

"Think we can do it?"

Haruhi nodded. She slid her bum forward to the edge of the chair, lifted up her legs, and spread her knees wide making a circle. I quickly got up and dropped my pants. Then I navigated my way up through the circle created by Haruhi's cuffed legs and got into position. Haruhi giggled the whole time.

It wasn't easy, but sure was rewarding, when I slid my cock deep inside of Haruhi's vagina. It was quite a workout, holding on to the side of Haruhi's chair as I rocked my hips in and out. I loved the noises Haruhi made as she approached her summit. They sounded so much cuter and manageable when she was gagged.

Finally we climaxed together. Another happy recipient of my love cream gasped as I filled her to the hilt. I loved the way Haruhi's eyes turned glassy and her vocal cords turned loud. I was a little surprised at how hard she squeezed me though; her powerful legs pushed all the air out of me.

I pulled out of her and dropped to my knees. Then I looked down and noticed some of my semen oozing out of Haruhi's vagina onto the chair. So this was the magic stuff all the girls were raving about! For a split second I was tempted to taste it, but quickly decided _that was gross!_

I extricated myself from Haruhi's circle, pulled up my pants, and sat back down in my chair.

"That was fun."

Haruhi nodded happily in full agreement.

"I guess I _could _let you go now."

Haruhi gave me a cute shrug.

"But there's something I want to talk to you about first… And I _really _like this format." Haruhi groaned and gave me that you're-an-idiot look I loved so much. Then she sat up and nodded. "Since we're married now, I think we should start acting like it." I waved my hand across room. "What happened here?"

Haruhi crossed her eyes and looked down her nose while making a "Mmmfff" sound.

"Okay, then. We'll play twenty questions." Haruhi groaned and nodded. I got up and said, "I'm sure it's all elementary, my dear Watson!" Then I grabbed my invisible Sherlock Holmes pipe and tried my best to deduce the series of events that got us here.

Haruhi sat silently as I scanned the room again. I immediately noticed a pile of girl's clothes on the floor under the table. But there was something strange about this pile. I reached down and picked up her blouse. It had been cut to pieces! The straps of her bra had been cut as well.

I studied the vibrator. It looked like a thick wand about the size of a standard flashlight with a hard rubber marshmallow stuck to the end. A very familiar extension cord ran from the vibrator to the wall receptacle. I also noticed a set of open scissors resting near the tea pot.

"Aha! I think I've got it!"

The puzzle pieces were starting to come together and form a picture.

"Did Mikuru do this to you? Was this all her idea?"

Haruhi looked down sheepishly and nodded.

I got up and walked toward the door.

"Okay, let me know if I miss anything. Mikuru walks through the door..."

I walked toward the center of the club room.

"She sees you're alone, sitting at your desk..."

I turned toward the clothes rack.

"She walks up to her maid costume... and undresses... slowly." I took a deep breath, "Down to nothing...," and I sighed as I watched the beautiful Mikuru Asahina undress in my mind.

Haruhi cleared her throat, snapping me out of my fantasy.

"Right!" I turned and straightened. Haruhi rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Okay then..." I walked toward the back of the room. "Now fully dressed - more or less - in her maid outfit, she walks behind you, probably with a mischievous look on her face..."

Haruhi giggled and nodded.

"She massages your shoulders… then she disarms you a little by taking off your yellow hair band and putting your hair into a ponytail with it."

Haruhi didn't react. I wasn't sure about that part of the story but I was pleased to know I nailed it. Mikuru was testing the waters.

I stepped behind the Brigade leader's desk.

"When that went well, Mikuru got a little bolder and took out one of the three sets of handcuffs you keep in your drawer."

Haruhi, who was still facing the door, didn't look back. She just listened quietly now.

"Then she pulled your arms behind your back and cuffed your wrists together. You didn't resist." I looked over at the cuffs connecting Haruhi's sock-covered ankles. "Then she walked you over to the table…"

Haruhi shook her head, "_No."_

I chuckled. "Okay. She cuffed your ankles together at your desk. Then she made you hop over to the table and lay down on it."

Haruhi giggled.

"Then she further immobilized you by using the third set of cuffs to connect your wrists to your ankles. By this time I'm sure you were laughing and complaining quite loudly. She probably tickled you, too."

Once again Haruhi giggled and nodded. Her cheeks flushed a little as well.

I looked over at the pile of clothes. That didn't make sense! I recognized Haruhi's panties. I stepped in front of Haruhi and examined the gag in her mouth. It sure looked like her mouth had been stuffed with white panties before being taped over.

I tapped the tape over her lips. "Damn! Those are _Mikuru's_ panties!"

Haruhi shrugged.

"But of course," I said with my Sherlock Holmes voice. "It would make sense that she gagged you before she cut off your clothes." I nodded. "Smart girl."

I don't know why, but I thought there was something really hot about that. I could feel my cock stiffening as I imagined Mikuru doing it. So I turned around before Haruhi could see my tent, and picked up the scissors and the vibrator.

"Okay. You're helpless and gagged. Now Mikuru starts cutting off your clothes. I'm guessing you were totally shocked at this point - and probably pretty vocal about it." I chuckled. "Damn. That was _really_ bold!"

Haruhi nodded with bright eyes. I picked up the remnants of Haruhi's blouse, skirt, bra and panties and dropped them in a pile on the table.

"But I bet you loved it, too."

Haruhi giggled and nodded.

I looked at the vibrator. "I'm going to guess, this is yours and you had it hidden in the closet near the extension cord."

"Ungg-ungg," Haruhi shook her head.

"No way! This is Mikuru's?!"

Haruhi nodded.

I was a little bit floored. But after our march down Tsuruya's hill, I guess I should have seen it coming.

I laughed. "I think you've created a monster!"

Haruhi smiled with her eyes and shrugged.

"Okay then. So you're cuffed and gagged, naked and helpless, and Mikuru comes after you with this thing."

I turned on the vibrator. "bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

"And you rack up seven orgasms before I walk through the door. Then Mikuru treats me to a viewing of orgasm number eight."

I sat back down across from a silent Haruhi Suzumiya and crossed my arms.

"You know Haruhi, since we're married now you probably should stop doing this kind of thing with Mikuru."

I could see in Haruhi's eyes that she wasn't happy with that plan… at all!

"Come on, Haruhi. Would you like it if I got it on with Koizumi?" Then I reflexively gagged at the thought.

Haruhi stomped her feet and shook her head with that classic disappointed teacher look. Then she arched her back and pushed her breasts toward me as she wiggled her hips.

And I knew exactly what she was saying.

It was all about the whole "nature made women beautiful" thing again. And Haruhi was right. I don't know why it was that way, and maybe it wasn't fair, but there was just something hot, yet innocent, about two girls having fun together. It was like being at a dance or a night club. Nobody thinks twice about it when two or more girls dance with each other. But if two guys dance together, everyone's first reaction is to gag.

Why was that?

I had to relent. "You're right. It's different." I sighed. "Let's compromise. Any time you and Mikuru want do your naked sister thing, I want to be there to chaperone."

Haruhi shrugged, "_Okay." _She had no problem with that.

Suddenly Haruhi bent forward and to the side so I could see her hands. She started wiggling her fingers. After wiggling them for a few seconds she closed her hands but left one finger extended.

"Huh? I don't get it."

Haruhi groaned and bent forward again. This time she extended one finger out at a time until all but one finger was extended.

"Oh!" I started laughing. "Now I get it!"

Haruhi wasn't complete!

Mikuru forced her to come seven times before I got there, and once in my presence. My navigating the circle of cuffed legs got her up to nine orgasms. Ten would make her feel complete. The universe demanded one more orgasm! And how could I deny her? After all, this need for completion was a habit she picked up from me.

"Okay, I have an idea." I removed the cuffs holding Haruhi to her chair, I stood her up, and I sat her down on the edge of the table. After dropping my pants again, I reached down and pulled her legs straight up toward the ceiling, creating a very sexy "L" as Haruhi laid back on her cuffed arms and looked up. This position gave me excellent access to her vagina. Haruhi clenched her eyes shut and moaned as I pushed myself deep inside of her once again.

Pumping Haruhi as I hugged her sock-covered calves was a blast for both of us. I silently thanked Mikuru for lending us her panties as Haruhi screamed uninhibitedly into her gag for the tenth time that day. The crushing orgasm left us both spent.

I considered letting Haruhi go, but I was loving the role reversal way too much. I literally could not remember a single time when I had been the person talking in a one-sided conversation with Haruhi.

After lowering Haruhi's legs so they draped over the side of the table, I knelt down in front of her and and lovingly pulled her socks down, past the cuffs, and off of her feet. I tossed both socks onto the clothes pile. Then I gently pushed Haruhi forward and slid up next to her on the table. We both laid on our sides, looking at each other.

I reached forward and fondled my bound wife's gorgeous breasts as I spoke. She giggled with smiling eyes and rubbed her bare legs together. Despite being on the wrong end of this one-sided conversation, I could tell Haruhi was totally enjoying her nudity with me.

"Okay," I started, "I like your idea about having a big house, and you writing and spending all your time having sex with me and all that. And I'm all for having as many kids as you want. But we've got to be realistic right now. We have to start small..."

Haruhi nodded and listened quietly and thoughtfully for the next forty minutes as I laid out _my_ vision of our future.

* * *

Haruhi was back to her happy, bubbly self as we walked down the hill together. Though she didn't let me get a word in edgewise, I could tell that she had listened to what I had to say earlier and she respected my opinion.

Somehow, once again, a very good thing had happened while Haruhi Suzumiya was naked.

No, Haruhi wasn't about to dial back her personality. But she did give me permission to tie her up and gag her whenever I had something really important to say. Scissors were optional.

You may be wondering how Haruhi managed to make it home with her clothes cut to shreds. Well, she put on that black robe that was stored in the closet, the one Nagato wore as part of her witch costume in our last movie.

Haruhi suggested that her hands remain cuffed behind her back under the robe till we parted ways at the bottom of the hill, since it gave her pleasant memories of the cop and prisoner game we played a few weeks ago. I didn't mind, though I did playfully threaten to pull the robe off of her a few times during our walk.

At the bottom of the hill, after we kissed each other goodnight, I held the handcuff key up before Haruhi's eyes. "Goodnight Hubby!" she said with a cute smile and a wink. "I love you." Then she stood on her toes and took the key out my fingers with her lips, before turning and skipping off toward her home.

As I watched Haruhi disappear down the street, I shook my head and smiled. Damn, I loved this girl.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Yes, this story was a little more doujiny than the last one. But when you've got a crazy theme you're trying to maintain, those things happen.  
**

**In some ways, this story is starting to remind me of one of those HBO shows where they have an arc they're developing, but they throw in some racy scenes just for the hell of it because... well, probably because they can because it's a cable network. I'm not saying that I threw the doujiny scene in for the hell of it. But the marriage story is starting to take precedence over maintaining the doujinshi theme. In fact the next chapter may not have any nudity! I guess we'll see.  
**

**I hope nobody is put off by any OOC issues. Relationships change people and this is my take on it. I'd love to get your opinion though, keeping in mind the story _is_ rated M. As always, thanks for reading! - Al Ling  
**


	8. The Bridal Shower

.

**The Nudity of Haruhi Suzumiya**

by Alfonso Ling

**Chapter 8: The Bridal Shower  
**

The end of the school year was approaching fast. Haruhi and I had a lot of decisions to make. For most students who excelled academically, the future consisted of a quick summer break followed by college. Haruhi's excellent grades and near perfect entrance exam scores insured that she would be welcome at any university she chose. Nonetheless, her options were limited.

As for me, well I wasn't so fortunate. There were a couple schools that I could get in to, but they were nothing to brag about; which, by the way, was the reason Haruhi's options were limited. She made it clear that she had absolutely no desire to go to any school that didn't accept me. But the ones that did weren't too great.

Ultimately, one day as she and I were walking to school, Haruhi turned to me and said, "Why do we need to go to college anyway? You know, when you think about it the only reason we're doing it is because everyone says we should. But it really makes no sense."

"But the people who go to college are the ones who get the better jobs and make more money," I countered.

"Look, Kyon. I'm gonna be a writer. I already know how to write Japanese. What else are they going to teach me?"

"Don't they have literature classes and creative writing and all that type of thing?"

Haruhi shrugged. "So they'll teach me how to write just the same way everybody else does! Who needs it? And on top of that I have to take a bunch of other required courses that don't help me out a bit." She shook her head. "Not that I'd get anything from the writing courses either."

"But -"

"Besides, if we skip the whole college scam thing, we'll have a four year head start on everybody else! And let's be honest, Kyon. Most people I talk to tell me college is just an excuse to party anyways."

"But -"

"And we don't need to party. We have each other." Haruhi reached over and squeezed my butt. "Besides, I don't like alcohol and who wants to go and fry their brain with drugs? You know, the more I'm talking this over with you, the clearer things are becoming."

I started to growl.

Haruhi turned to me and smiled. "You wanna tie me up and gag me now, huh?" She started giggling. Then she shook her head and crossed her arms. "Okay Kyon. What did you want to say?"

"Well…" Haruhi didn't interrupt so I kept going. "Most employers look for a college degree when they're hiring. A degree might not be so important if you're going to be a writer, but I'm still not sure what I want to do for a career."

Haruhi thought about it for a second, then pronounced, "I think we should see how far we can get on our own! There's no law that says you can't go back to school after a couple years if things don't work out." She took my arm and we resumed our walk to school. "I have a feeling everything's going to be just fine, though."

I had to admit it. I had the same feeling.

My confident outlook was half based on the knowledge that I had somehow married royalty - though this Princess didn't know it. If there was one thing history classes taught me, it was this: royalty never lacks for anything. And half based on the positive results I got when, for the hell of it, I decided to test a theory.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you need a bunch of money? That's right, the lottery!

So a couple evenings ago I went to a local mini-mart and bought a ticket for the Jumbo Draw. For those not familiar with it, the Jumbo Draw is largest Takara-kuji (Treasure) Lottery in Japan. It's held every couple months and it has the largest lottery payout in Asia (in the world it's second only to the Spanish El Gordo Draw). Right now the total pot stood at about 30 billion Yen (about $300 million US dollars). Unlike most other lotteries, they like to spread that money around in Japan. With 20 million prize winners, there's a one in nine chance of winning.

As I stood there in the store, looking at my ticket, I _knew_ that I had the power to turn this ticket into anything I wanted. I could easily wish the numbers to come up as one of the 17 First Prizes of two hundred million Yen (about two million US dollars), or even something more modest. For Haruhi and me, money was not going to be an issue.

I've heard people ask what I (up till now) considered to be this dumb philosophical question: "_What would you attempt if you absolutely knew you could not fail?" _Because, of course you know you're going to have failures and setbacks along the way to achieving any worthwhile goal.

Now, that I _knew_ I could not fail, the question made a lot more sense to me. I had been given a gift. But I didn't want to use it. Using it now felt like cheating.

Still, being able to put that winning lottery ticket in my back pocket any time I wanted was a definite bonus. It felt good knowing I'd always be able to take care of Haruhi.

* * *

North High's graduation ceremonies were a month away. Haruhi and I decided we'd get _legally _married the first Sunday after the last day of classes.

Right, who was I kidding. Haruhi decided that.

And I admit I was glad for it. I didn't care about that stuff and Haruhi had a passion for it. She had everything figured out. But I'll get to those details later. We still had a lot to accomplish this last month.

I wasn't too surprised when Koizumi cornered me. The Organization had been put in panic mode when an enormous sphere of closed space formed just off of the Japanese coastline. They feared an event of nuclear proportions. However the space shrank down to nothing and disappeared mere minutes later. I asked Koizumi what time this event took place, and he confirmed it was right about the time Mikuru was on her knees pleasuring me, as a handcuffed and helpless Haruhi Suzumiya watched on in horror.

It hadn't been that long ago when a fully naked Mikuru Asahina led me by the hand to a private patch of grass on Tsuruya's hill and blew me - _with Haruhi's blessing!_

It's funny how marriage changes a girl…

But that was two weeks ago, and I'd remained faithful since. I knew Haruhi hadn't been with any other men either, especially now that Koizumi had another outlet available. (Namely my daughter Natsume, a girl I was getting more and more interested in getting to know.) Notice how I specified any other _men?_ I couldn't say Haruhi hadn't been with any other _person_ quite as confidently.

While we're on the subject of Mikuru Asahina... today was the big day! Today was Friday, the day of Haruhi's bridal shower!

For some reason - I think it's some sort of tradition - girls love to get together for one final gift giving party before a girl gets married. To make sure she starts out with everything she needs. Lately it's become more common for couples to have a _wedding_ shower where both the groom and bride have a pre-wedding gift party, but Mikuru the organizer would have none of it! This was going to be a girl's thing - and I was going to be kept completely in the dark.

At least that was the plan.

I had a rough idea where the bridal shower was going to take place. In Japan somewhere.

Actually I knew they were going to have it somewhere on the school grounds. Since all of the girls attending this event were North High students, it made sense to hold it in the most convenient location after classes were over. I guessed they'd use one of the classrooms. Or maybe the cafeteria.

I was banished to the SOS Brigade club room. The party started rather late at 7 PM and I promised Mikuru I wouldn't leave till Haruhi came to collect me, which I guessed would be around 10 PM at the latest. What in the world are a bunch of giggling girls going to do for three hours anyways?

Naturally, Nagato was invited to the party. And Koizumi… he was probably spending time with my daughter again. How could you blame him? From the few times I'd seen her, I could tell Natsume inherited her looks directly from her mother.

So I sat at my laptop... all alone... researching "FCV" for some reason. FCV stands for "female copulatory vocalization". It was the Wikipedia page I eventually landed on after googling, "_Why does Haruhi make so much noise when we have sex?"_ I was surprised to find out that Haruhi really had much less control over her emanations than I first thought. Though she probably wasn't aware of it, Haruhi's vocalizations were actually communicating to me how close she was to orgasm and the optimal rhythm I might want to consider to get her there.

After about ninety minutes of web surfing, I was starting to get really bored. The door looked so tempting. So what if I just strolled around the school grounds a little bit? The party was probably in some locked classroom anyway…

But I stayed put. I had made a promise to Mikuru, so I was going to keep it. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Damn, I wished I could get out and explore!

_But not really! It was just a figure of speech!_ You see, I was very careful to qualify everything I wished for now - because my wishes often came true.

I was okay. I could handle a few more hours here.

Suddenly, my cell phone rang. I checked the caller ID. It was Mikuru Asahina! Oh shit… did I do that?

I pressed the answer button and held the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Kyon! I need your help! I've got an emergency! It's Itsuki… he's in trouble! You've got to come right away!" I could tell Mikuru was panicked.

"Yes, I'm coming," I replied. "But where are you?"

"We're in the hallway outside the swimming pool! Please hurry! He doesn't look good!"

I didn't ask any more questions. I hung up my phone, busted through the door, and ran as fast as I could to the swimming pool complex. It was closing in on 9 PM on a Friday night, so the hallways were dark and empty. When I approached the locker room doors, I could hear the subtle bass beats of a music system and some intermittent female shouting.

Then I saw them both. Koizumi was sitting on the tile floor, his back propped up against the wall. Mikuru was kneeling over him, holding his hand. Both were dressed in nothing but a standard school-issue white towel. My eyes bugged out when I saw Mikuru, the towel wrapped around her body just barely covering her breasts and bottom. Koizumi's towel was wrapped around his waist. As I approached, I took a deep breath and focused on my ailing comrade.

Koizumi looked terrible. He was pale, his breathing was shallow, and his eyes were closed. In addition, there was a large bruise on his forehead over his right eye. I knelt down next to him and checked his pulse. It was weak.

"What happened?" I asked him.

Koizumi tried to lift his head. The edges of his mouth curled up into a weak smile and he squinted his eyes. "B,b,b,b,bl,bl,bloooooowwwww…." he managed to say softly.

I turned to Mikuru, who looked down with a guilty look on her face. "I think he's trying to say blow job."

"Where is everybody?" I asked, looking around for the source of the music.

Mikuru pointed to the men's locker room door. I focused on the door and concentrated. In addition to the music, I could now faintly hear the sounds of laughter and running water.

I shook my head. Once again the puzzle pieces were falling into place.

I took my future son-in-law's hand and shook it lightly. "Koizumi. How many times?"

He looked up at me with glassy unfocused eyes, but said nothing.

"How many times, dude? Five? Six?"

Koizumi shook his head. "Twelve," he whispered.

"Holy shit!" I turned to Mikuru. "Mikuru, is there any food in there?" I pointed to the locker room.

"Sure. Three pizzas."

"Please get those pizzas and bring them out here. Now."

Mikuru nodded and scampered into the locker room. She came out twenty seconds later with three unopened boxes, each containing a large pizza pie. I ripped open the top box. Then I pulled out two slices and slapped them together face to face, making a sandwich. I put the slices under Koizumi's nose.

Immediately his eyes lit up and he opened his mouth - I stuffed the pizza into his face. Koizumi moved his head forward and took an enormous bite; which he downed in about three seconds. The full pizza sandwich was gone in less than a minute.

"What happened?" Mikuru asked, standing over us, still clutching the towel to her body.

I looked up at her and frowned. "I should be asking you that!" I put together another pizza sandwich for Koizumi and turned to feed him. "He's just a man! But he's got no brakes now!" I was getting a little angry. "You know how Haruhi changed us. If what he's telling me is true, Koizumi's just been through a dozen super-orgasms. He's beyond spent! It's the equivalent of him not eating for three or four days! You girls could have killed him!"

After finishing the first pizza, Koizumi's color was returning to him. I could tell he was getting better.

"So what happened?" Mikuru was a little flustered so I spoke slowly and calmly. "I'm sorry for snapping at you, Mikuru. Please tell me everything... from the beginning."

Mikuru took a deep breath. "Well, when I told Miss Suzumiya I was planning to throw her a bridal shower she got very excited. 'I know just the place for it!' she said."

I turned toward the locker room door. Yes, it was the same locker room Haruhi and I had been diverted to when we played our cop and prisoner game less than two months ago.

"So you decided to have your bridal shower in a real shower?"

Mikuru nodded.

I couldn't help but laugh. That was _so _Haruhi. "But why did you choose the men's locker room? Don't they have showers in the girl's side?"

"They do. But the girl's locker room has separate shower stalls. In the boys locker room they have one great big community shower." Hmmm. I didn't know that about the girl's locker room. I guess you learn something new every day. "So that's why we needed Koizumi. We were pretty sure nobody would be here at this time of night and we locked the door, but we wanted to be extra sure. Koizumi agreed to guard the door for us in case any janitors came along or something."

"How many girls are in there?" My imagination was really rolling now.

Mikuru put out her hand and started counting. "Let's see… there's Midori, Mizuho, Akane, Kaede, Marina… oh, and the girls from that rock group Enoz that Miss Suzumiya and Miss Nagato played with that time at the festival - Enomoto, Nakanishi, Okajima, and Zaizen... they brought the sound system… also Natsuru, Nana, Yukari… and..." I just stood there wide-eyed, drooling, with my mouth open as Mikuru listed off the names of all the hottest girls in our school. Finally she finished her list. "...so there's nineteen girls altogether, not counting Miss Suzumiya, Miss Nagato and myself."

"So twenty-two girls in all?" I asked.

Mikuru nodded before continuing. "It was so much fun! The Enoz girls put on some of their awesome music while Miss Nagato and I set up chairs... plus a little plastic table for the gifts. Then, when the rest of the girls started coming in we turned on all the showers! Everyone put their clothes in the lockers and jumped in. It was a blast!"

Mikuru giggled when she noticed the tent in my pants. Yes, I was imagining all these very hot wet naked girls enjoying this Haruhi Suzumiya inspired bridal _shower_. "Please continue," I said, crossing my legs. I was still feeding Koizumi. By now he'd devoured another half a pizza and he seemed to be coming to his senses.

"It was the best! Everyone was so excited you and Miss Suzumiya were getting married and they all said they could all see it coming a mile away, probably years before you two did!" Mikuru put her hand over her mouth. "Then we presented the gifts." Mikuru was blushing. "They were all very, um, sexy."

"Like?"

"Well the first gift Miss Suzumiya got was a ball gag; then she got this leather hood," Mikuru giggled, "with a set of matching leather cuffs; then she got this enormous dildo; oh, and one of those big plunger things for giving enemas…"

I held up my hand. "Okay, I get the picture."

"And the girls all teased Miss Suzumiya to get her to try these things out on herself..., but she had a better idea."

I could see it coming. "Let me guess. She came out here… butt naked... and kidnapped the guard."

Mikuru shrugged. "Well, yes… At least I think that's what happened." Mikuru could see the disappointed expression on my face. "Come on, Kyon. I've been spending some time on the Internet lately looking at pictures, and you have to admit… you and Koizumi are, you know, very impressive down there! You can't blame Miss Suzumiya for wanting to show you off!"

My mind was elsewhere, though. "So... Haruhi went down on Koizumi?"

"NO!" Mikuru shot back immediately. "She wouldn't do that now!"

Koizumi started shaking his head from side to side as well. "Uh-uhng!" he said with a full mouth of pizza.

"I think she made him undress out here," Mikuru continued. "Then she put the hood on him and used the leather cuffs to cuff his wrists behind his back so he couldn't take it off." Koizumi nodded in agreement.

"Did she gag you, too?" I asked my still-ravenous friend.

Koizumi nodded.

I sighed. "So then Haruhi led poor Koizumi back there naked, bound, gagged and blindfolded… Who was the first?"

"To be honest, Kyon, I don't know. I actually wasn't there for any of that. Miss Suzumiya sent me away to get pizza before she kidnapped Itsuki. I'm not sure why she did that."

I pretended to be dumb about it. Somehow Haruhi knew that Koizumi would not have agreed to this if Mikuru was there. The gentleman in Koizumi wouldn't allow his girlfriend's mother to see him engaging in the acts that he surmised were about to follow. Mikuru was still a little in denial about the whole Natsume thing, so I didn't dwell on it.

By this time, Koizumi had his color back, he was sitting straight up and it looked like he was strong enough to join the conversation.

"At the behest of Miss Suzumiya, Miss Nagato was the first to perform fellatio on me." Koizumi took a deep breath. "Fortunately she was merciful and did not give it her best effort."

"She was still pretty damn good, though, wasn't she?" I had to ask.

Koizumi tilted his head as the corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. "Out of this world." He held up his hand and we high-fived.

Mikuru groaned a few moments later when she finally got Koizumi's alien joke. "Men…"

"In fact Miss Nagato made me cum so hard, her mouth couldn't contain it all. I'm afraid I made quite a mess on her." Koizumi turned and looked me in the eyes. "And let me say this emphatically! At no time did Miss Suzumiya's mouth get anywhere near my penis. Believe me, I would have known!" Koizumi's eyes softened. "Though standing in the shower did bring back pleasant memories of the first time it did."

I smiled and nodded, recognizing the statement as Koizumi's understated way of telling me that I was a lucky bastard.

"So after Nagato broke the ice, these girls took turns sucking you off… and you came… _twelve times?!"_

"Yes. Many of the girls were quite proficient. Though for some, I believe mine was the first penis they'd ever sucked. Their efforts were quite enjoyable nonetheless."

"You probably made a pretty big mess in there, didn't you?"

"I was bound and blindfolded, and therefore unable to fully determine the extent of the mess."

Mikuru nodded. "Yeah, it was a pretty big mess. I saw the damage he did after I came back with the pizzas. All of the girls had at least some cum on them. Some, a lot!" She giggled. "A few of the girls were getting into licking it off of each other." Then Mikuru quickly added, "But not Miss Suzumiya!"

"That explains why none of the girls went for the pizza," I said.

"Oh, I'm sure some of them would have," Mikuru replied. "But when I got back they were having such a fun time with the sponges and the bubble bath soap, cleaning each other off, I don't think they even noticed me. I got undressed and was about to join them back in the shower but then I noticed Koizumi passed out over on the side in the corner of the locker room."

Koizumi continued. "It was my intention, after realizing I was severely depleted, to lay down on one of the wooden benches so I could recuperate a bit. I swim here frequently and am familiar with this locker room's layout. I was confident that I could make it to a bench despite my blindfolded and restrained state."

"But he didn't get too far," Mikuru said. "He passed out five steps away from the shower. I think that's how he got that bruise. The girls couldn't see him from where they were or I'm sure they would have tried to help. I rushed right over to him, took off all the bondage stuff, and pulled him out here. Then I called you. I got us a couple towels while we waited for you to get here."

"Well, we're lucky it ended well." I turned to Koizumi. "Look dude, you could have died today! I know you were tied up and gagged, but I'm sure you could have gotten them to stop if you wanted to."

Koizumi looked down. "That's true. I severely miscalculated." He chuckled with a sly smile. "Though I could not conceive of a better way to die."

"Lucky bastard," I said.

Koizumi held up a slice of pizza. "A toast. To Miss Suzumiya... and our super sperm!"

I picked up a piece of pizza and clinked Koizumi's with it - while Mikuru just frowned and shook her head. "To Haruhi and our super sperm!" I took a big bite and smiled when I considered the words.

Then I spit out my pizza!

"OH. HELL. NO!"

I jumped to my feet. Mikuru and Koizumi were a bit shocked at my outburst.

"What's wrong, Kyon?" Mikuru asked.

"SUPER SPERM! And now all these girls are in there washing each others naked bodies and sponging each other off!"

Koizumi was the first to get it. "Oh my..."

"What?" asked Mikuru.

"Mikuru, please get Nagato out here - right away!"

Mikuru maintained the perplexed look on her face as she turned to go. I heard the showers spraying and rock 'n roll music blaring when she pulled open the door and stepped inside once again. Thirty seconds later, Yuki Nagato walked out into the hallway, naked and dripping wet. She turned and looked up at me, awaiting my question.

I turned to Mikuru first. "Is Haruhi still occupied?"

"Oh yeah," Mikuru replied with a giggle. "You know how she is when she's naked. She's playing rock and roll star with the girls from Enoz, making up some dance moves. I'll give you three guesses what they're using for a microphone."

I turned back to the alien. "Yuki! Our enhanced sperm… and these girls rinsing themselves off… could the semen somehow mix with the water and, you know, flow over these girls' vaginas and, you know, get inside them?"

Nagato nodded.

I took a deep breath. "Has this happened?"

"Fifteen of the girls are pregnant."

Mikuru squealed, while Koizumi's eyes bulged out in shock. "Holy shit!" I think it was the first time I had ever heard him swear.

"Why didn't you do something?" I asked Nagato.

"I am here to observe."

"Is there anything you _can _do now? To reverse the process?"

Yuki looked up at me with the strangest expression. I wasn't sure how to read her. "I will not consciously terminate a human life."

Wow! At this point I just collapsed and sat down next to the lucky father. "Congratulations," I said to a nearly comatose Koizumi.

"Wait," Mikuru said. "Miss Nagato, in the past you have been able to communicate with a version of yourself in another time plane. Can you still do that?"

Yuki nodded.

"Oh I get it!" I said. "Yuki! _You were the first!_ Can you communicate with the Yuki Nagato in the past that had her lips around Koizumi's penis?"

Yuki nodded.

"And then instruct yourself to do that nanobot injection thing you've done to Mikuru and me in the past? You know, create some sort of temporary force field inside Koizumi's cock so his ejaculations are pasteurized or something?"

Koizumi reflexively moved his legs together, recognizing immediately what that would mean.

"Pasteurization will greatly diminish the nutritional value of Itsuki Koizumi's ejaculate."

I just shook my head. I wanted to laugh. "But can you do it?"

Yuki nodded.

Koizumi looked up at Nagato. "Please do it Yuki. I don't think I'm ready to be the father of fifteen kids."

"Sixteen," Yuki corrected Koizumi. "Miss Nishikawa is carrying twins."

Koizumi just shook his head. "Please do this."

Yuki paused for a few moments, then nodded. The dripping wet nude alien stood there silently for a couple minutes, staring blankly straight ahead. Then she turned back to Koizumi.

"Ouch!" Koizumi said. He pulled back his towel and verified the presence of two just barely visible bite marks on his cock.

"It is done."

Koizumi let out the biggest sigh of relief I've ever heard. "So we're down to zero pregnancies now?" he asked just to be certain.

Nagato looked up. "No. There is still one." She put her hand over her belly.

"YUKI!" I said. "How could you? How is that even possible?"

"You mean you injected the nanobots into me _after _you finished blowing me? After I made that mess all over you?" Koizumi asked, with an expression belying nearly as much shock as before. "_But why?"_

Once again Nagato looked up at us with an indecipherable expression. "I was careless," she said. "And I knew the risks. The other girls were ignorant of the potential outcomes of their actions. But I was not."

The three of us just stood there with our mouths agape.

"I will not consciously terminate a human life."


	9. Mikuru and Natsume

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**The Nudity of Haruhi Suzumiya**

by Alfonso Ling

**Chapter 9: Mikuru and Natsume**

After several hours of wholesome wet fun, the bridal shower was winding down. With the help of a gentle nudge from Mikuru, Haruhi succumbed to the pleading of her friends and went out with them to... who knows where? Dining? Clubbing? Another party? Though Mikuru knew this bride-to-be wasn't the social type, she insisted Haruhi go with them. Her wedding was a once in a lifetime event, and she should go out and celebrate it. Just have fun with the girls! Mikuru and Yuki could handle the clean up. Mikuru chuckled to herself as she watched these excited young ladies - many of whom had been pregnant not long ago - get dressed and leave for the next fun thing.

At the door, Mikuru overheard Haruhi instruct Koizumi to inform Kyon that Haruhi's party was moving off-campus and he shouldn't wait for her in the club room. At first Mikuru thought a text or a phone call could have accomplished the same thing with much less effort. But there was something sweet about Haruhi sending a friend over to do the deed. It was also sweet that Haruhi kissed Koizumi on the cheek and thanked him for being a good sport.

This was _not_ the same girl that yanked Mikuru out of her calligraphy club to join the SOS Brigade two years ago.

So Mikuru and Yuki enjoyed each others naked company as they rolled up the ribbons and the soggy wrapping paper, and dried off and bagged Haruhi's many gifts. Mikuru thought it was ironic that the two still-pregnant girls in the group were the ones left behind to clean things up. She looked over at Yuki's belly as she thought this, and then rubbed her own. Mikuru thought she saw Yuki's eyes brighten and her lips turn up in a tiny smile of comradery.

"Do you know what you're going to name it yet?" Mikuru asked.

"No," came the curt reply.

Mikuru intertwined her fingers over her belly button. "I'm naming her Natsume."

Yuki paused and moved her hand over her belly as well. "I have a boy."

Mikuru smiled. "That's fantastic. Any name ideas?"

"No. Do you have any suggestions?"

Mikuru's eyes widened and she gasped. Had anyone else asked her for a suggestion she wouldn't have given it a second thought. But Yuki? Mikuru was pretty sure Yuki was now asking her to name the baby. For a split second Mikuru considered balking, but was surprised when the name gushed out of her mouth without any hesitation.

"I'd name him Anjin."

Once again she thought she saw Yuki smile, but knew she was imagining things.

"Pilot? Clavell? Shogun?" Yuki asked.

Mikuru blushed. "Yes. That's right. That was the Japanese name of English pilot John Blackthorn in James Clavell's novel 'Shogun'. The name given to him by Lord Toronaga after his boat got shipwrecked off the Japanese coast."

"Interesting."

Mikuru looked down. "That's what I would have named my baby if it was a boy."

"Why?"

Mikuru, somewhat surprised by Yuki's follow-up question, smiled. "It was the name a very good friend of mine gave himself. A fellow classmate who was sent back to the year 1600 to monitor Tokugawa Ieyasu. He died accidentally during an assassination attempt on the ruler."

Yuki waited a few moments, then nodded.

Mikuru wiped the tear from her eye. "We better get this done."

Yuki nodded. "I would like to ask a favor of you." Mikuru listened to Yuki's short request and agreed immediately. Then the two got back to work.

When everything was spic and span, the girls went to their lockers to get dressed. Upon opening her locker, a buzzing and flashing cell phone informed Mikuru there was a text message waiting for her. It was from Kyon. He wanted to meet Mikuru for lunch tomorrow.

Mikuru replied to the text. Sure. She could meet, but she did have to accompany a good friend to the airport at three.

* * *

"There's no place like home," Mikuru Asahina said to herself with a giggle as she stepped out of the shower and reached for her towel. After drying herself off, she placed the damp towel back on the rack. She lifted her white cotton robe off of a nearby hook and pulled it over her body before stepping through the bathroom door into her bedroom. Last night's bridal shower had been fun - according to Haruhi it was "A _total_ success!" - but there was something nice about starting your day in a shower that was all your own.

With her hair still damp, Mikuru stepped in front of the full length mirror opposite her bed and slid the robe off of her shoulders. It fell in a heap at her feet. She examined herself carefully, starting at her feet and moving slowly upwards to the straight wet hair draped over her head and shoulders.

Mikuru smiled at her reflection. She looked good. _Very good._ Though she had never met her older self in person, Kyon had. Two years ago. After that meeting, Kyon spoke in nothing but glowing terms about the beauty Mikuru would become. A contender for Miss Universe, he told her - and Mikuru could tell he was being sincere.

She made a mental note to ask Kyon for an update when they had lunch today. Did he think she was still Miss Universe caliber beautiful? But then she decided against it. If it somehow got back to Haruhi, the girl might misinterpret that type of thing as flirting. And she wasn't about to make that mistake again!

Mikuru giggled. In her mind the Brigade leader wasn't Miss Suzumiya anymore. She was Haruhi, which was the name she used when they played. Mikuru arched her back and grabbed her hands together over her bum, thrusting her magnificent breasts forward.

It was true. Haruhi looked like a goddess - but she had nothing on this girl in the mirror!

Mikuru cupped her breasts and squeezed them together, recalling the first time the audacious Brigade leader wrapped her hands around them in the literature club room. Haruhi had been jealous back then. In the ensuing two years Haruhi's chest had caught up nicely. But Mikuru's were still bigger!

Mikuru licked her finger and made an imaginary tick mark in the air. Mikuru 1, Haruhi 0.

Mikuru lifted her hands over her head and swayed her hips from side to side. Mikuru's rounder hips pleasantly complimented her awesome breasts. Of course Haruhi was also perfectly proportioned, and her midsection was a bit more toned. But Mikuru's belly was also flat and firm. She judged it a tie.

Mikuru 2, Haruhi 1.

Mikuru turned and checked out her bottom. It was firm, round and beautiful. Still it was no match for Haruhi's phenomenal bum. She thought back to the countless times she walked with Kyon or Koizumi as Haruhi took the lead. Even with her clothes on, the guys couldn't keep their eyes off of it, especially Kyon.

Mikuru 2, Haruhi 2.

Haruhi had a slight edge in the legs department, but Mikuru's long flowing hair matched that. Both girls had gorgeous faces that lit up the room when they smiled, though lately Haruhi had been smiling much more that Mikuru. But the girl was getting married so that was to be expected.

Mikuru took a deep breath and ended the competition with a confident smile. It was a tie!

She crouched down, picked up the robe and pulled it back over her shoulders. But before she closed it, Mikuru rubbed her hand over her belly. It still looked fine. She still wasn't showing. But it was only a matter of a week or two till she did.

She put her finger in her belly button. So many years ago this was the anchor for the umbilical cord that once tethered baby Mikuru to her mother. And now another umbilical cord was inside of her connecting Mikuru to… Natsume? What this true? Was Koizumi's new girlfriend really her daughter?

Mikuru knew it was true, but part of her still refused to accept it. She felt a crazy pang of guilt every time she did. Getting pregnant by a man from another time plane broke just about every rule in the book when it came to professional time travel. Though this wasn't the first time something like this had happened...

Back when she was training, Mikuru remembered her instructor relating the story of a girl who fell in love with the person she was observing, a man of great historical significance. They had sex. The girl got pregnant. The girl got yanked from her assignment. The girl lost the baby. The instructor hadn't specified how this girl lost her baby, but Mikuru assumed the worst.

Mikuru rubbed her belly again. It brought to mind an image of Yuki Nagato. Yes, Yuki Nagato! Of all the people in the world, Yuki Nagato was pregnant with Itsuki Koizumi's baby. Standing there, naked, outside the men's locker room, Yuki sensed the human life growing inside of her. Yuki could have "fixed" things easily. She obviously had no issues with contraception - even retroactive contraception. A baby that was never conceived, never really was. Yuki's amazing data transfer skills got Koizumi out of a major jam.

Mikuru giggled as she imagined Koizumi at the park with fifteen girls and sixteen baby carriages. That would have been a sight!

Now there was only one carriage.

Because when the time came to un-conceive the fetus growing inside of her, Yuki couldn't do it. Somehow, those ten or fifteen minutes of motherhood changed her. Then again for Yuki Nagato those few minutes equated to trillions upon trillions of CPU cycles - or whatever she had going on up there in that humanoid interface brain of hers!

Mikuru had been living with Natsume in her belly for nearly two months now. Her little girl had a beating heart and Mikuru sensed it. Like Yuki, Mikuru knew that there was no way in the world anyone was going to take this baby from her. They wouldn't dare. And if they did dare, well...

Mikuru turned and let the robe drop down so the cloth stopped just above the hump of her bottom. She studied her back closely. Yes, it was there. She could see it, larger than life. Mikuru Asahina had developed a backbone! And a pretty substantial one at that. How did that happen?

Mikuru glanced over at the nightstand next to her bed. Her vibrator was comfortably resting on it. A mischievous smile crossed her lips. Cuffing and torturing her tormenter was a dream come true. And it was so much fun! Watching Haruhi struggle, naked and helpless on the table, as Mikuru's evil vibrator coaxed orgasm after orgasm from her vulnerable victim. What a rush!

And they had become sisters! Mikuru truly loved Haruhi now in a way she never before had. And Mikuru knew the feeling was mutual. No, it wasn't any sort of crazy lesbian love affair, the kind that young guys would salivate over. They were like sisters - the sister neither one of them had growing up. Mikuru was the older sister and Haruhi the younger - though their roles had been reversed.

But the wedding was approaching fast. And things would change. Dammit! They had already changed! What was she thinking when she flashed Kyon and then blew him right in front of Haruhi?

Their sisterly bond was still intact. She knew Haruhi had forgiven her completely. Kyon was the problem…

Problem?

Mikuru checked her clock. Her lunch date with Kyon was three hours away. Mikuru had a feeling that the father of her baby would clear the air and somehow make sense of it all. She shook her head and laughed before uttering the words Kyon had so much faith in:

"Good things happen when Haruhi Suzumiya is naked!"

* * *

Lunch with Kyon was… enlightening.

Though she arrived early, he was already waiting for her at a booth in the rear of the Ling Chong Chinese Restaurant when she stepped through the door.

Mikuru had started their conversation in a way that surprised her.

"I want to know," she said. "How close am I now to the older version of me you met?"

"That's classified," was his reply. When she frowned, he smiled. Then he told her, "You're maybe a half inch shorter, but in every other respect you're just as beautiful as the future version of yourself."

"Miss Universe?"

Kyon smiled and nodded. "Miss _Nude_ Universe even."

Mikuru had blushed at that and smiled.

Though she had entered the restaurant somewhat angry with her friend, she left feeling upbeat and happy. Kyon exuded a strange new confidence that was infectious. He had somehow managed to convince her that everything was going to work out fine.

* * *

Mikuru's train ride to the airport with Yuki right after her lunch had been… strangely nice.

"Where are you traveling to?" Mikuru had asked her.

"Tibet."

"Why are you going there?"

"There is something I must do," the alien had replied.

Mikuru knew better than to probe further. "When will you be back?"

Yuki handed her the tickets. "My return flight is scheduled to arrive Sunday at 6:05 PM."

Mikuru looked them over for a few seconds. "Wait. You mean…_tomorrow?!"_

Yuki nodded.

"Would you like me to be there when you arrive?"

Yuki nodded.

"I'll be there."

Though there was no conversation for the rest of the train ride, Mikuru felt fine and totally at ease with her silent friend.

After disembarking the train at its final stop at the airport, Mikuru walked with Yuki to her gate. Yuki had no luggage. As they approached the security checkpoint, Yuki turned to Mikuru. "Thank you for accompanying me."

Mikuru didn't say a word. She simply turned and hugged the smaller girl tightly. After a moment Yuki wrapped her arms around Mikuru as well. The two girls stood there for several minutes before they released each other. Then Yuki turned and walked through the security checkpoint alone.

* * *

The long train trip back home from the airport was uncomfortable and lonely. Thoughts of hope and negativity alternately swirled through her mind. If Kyon was right, Mikuru would be forced to make a very important decision today. Could she do it?

By the time Mikuru unlocked the door to her apartment, she knew she could.

Mikuru tossed her coat on the couch and sat down at her desk behind her laptop computer. She started up her email program and navigated down to the message; the message from her handlers; the message Kyon told her to expect.

It was quite a lengthy note. She skimmed through all the niceties and scrolled down to the final paragraph.

"_... so after careful consideration we have decided that the best course of action for all involved is for you to terminate the pregnancy. We have scheduled your procedure …"_

Mikuru looked up. She rubbed her belly once again. Then she scrolled down to the bottom of the message and typed the exact reply Kyon had suggested. The reply consisted of three simple words:

"GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

Kyon was right. Haruhi Suzumiya wasn't just some run of the mill historical figure. Mikuru Asahina was watching the most powerful and consequential human being in the history of the universe. Mikuru could write her own check. And she knew it!

She clicked on the Send button.

The reply came back instantly. She opened the reply and skimmed through it to the important part.

"_... failure to comply with this order will result in your immediate recall from this time plane and the forcible removal and disposal of your fetus …_

Once again Mikuru scrolled to the bottom of the message and typed her reply.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

She hit Send.

Another instant reply. Once again she skimmed through it, stopping when she came to the important part.

" … _because your decision could have far reaching ramifications for your current time plane as well as our own. Therefore we will not tolerate insubordination. This is your final warning!"_

"GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

She hit Send again, surprised at how easy this was becoming. Couldn't these people take a hint?

This time it took a couple minutes before she got a reply. It was short.

"_Would you be willing to compromise?"_

Mikuru was about to type her favorite three words again, but thought better of it. She wanted the baby. She was going to have the baby. But she knew she wasn't ready. She knew there wasn't any way she'd be able to take care of a tiny baby on her own and then manage studies and keep an eye on Haruhi Suzumiya. There was just no way.

If only there were some way Mikuru's baby could just take care of itself. It was a quandary. She needed her baby, she could not live without her baby, but she couldn't have the baby _now_. What in the world was she going to do?

The answer that came to her was quite simple. She was a time traveler! So Mikuru pulled out her checkbook and told the organization what she wanted to do. They balked of course, then caved like she knew they would.

She didn't feel that bad about it. After all, they still owed her. Mikuru was repeating her senior year. While all her other classmates moved on to college, Mikuru stayed back. Why? The cover story was that she hadn't taken the necessary prerequisites for the elite art school she needed to get into to pursue her dancing career. The truth, of course, was that she was a member of the SOS Brigade and as such she was probably the most valuable asset in the organization.

She smiled when she remembered Haruhi's shocked surprise when she informed the brigade leader she'd be spending another year with them. Mikuru wasn't super happy about the order, but she didn't mind too much either. Haruhi was ecstatic, though, and it made Mikuru feel good.

The compromise plan was simple. Mikuru would jump back to her home time plane for surgery. She knew it was a risky maneuver. After all, they could keep her there and lock her away. There would be nothing she could do about it. Haruhi Suzumiya, though a strong ally, wasn't aware of her powers. Getting her help could be... problematic.

But Kyon had told her not to worry - about anything. Just trust that things were going to work out. And the confidence in his eyes convinced her to trust.

Despite her faith, Mikuru was still a little surprised when the organization bent over backwards to give her exactly what she wanted with absolutely no hesitation. Mikuru's baby was surgically removed and placed in an incubator. She was pleased to learn it was indeed a girl. And Mikuru did name her baby Natsume.

After the surgery Mikuru spent a day in the complex to recuperate. She insisted on staying next to the high-tech incubator the entire time she was there. Though her daughter was only the size of a kidney bean, she spoke to Natsume through the glass. The next day, she awoke, said goodbye to her daughter, and jumped back in time -

To her seat in front of the laptop computer.

She stared at the line on the screen again… "_Would you be willing to compromise?" _… which, as far as the laptop was concerned, popped up just seconds ago.

She closed the laptop's lid. Then she rubbed her now-empty belly and sighed.

_Knock - Knock!_

The sound startled her a little. Mikuru jumped up and ran to the door. She opened it quickly.

The beautiful girl standing in the hallway was beaming with an ear to ear smile. "MOM!" she shouted.

Mikuru's shocked face was beaming as well. "Natsume?"

Mikuru's daughter rushed forward and gave her mother the tightest hug she ever remembered receiving. "Mom! I can't believe I'm finally here with you!"

Mikuru returned the hug tightly. "Natsume." She didn't know what else to say.

The eighteen year old beauty and her equally beautiful nineteen year old mother spent the evening on the couch getting to know each other. It soon became obvious to both of them that theirs was not really a mother-daughter relationship, though genetically that's what they were.

Mikuru and Natsume felt like sisters.

* * *

After staying up till the early hours of the morning, talking and sharing, Natsume crashed on Mikuru's couch.

Mikuru was the first to rise that Sunday. She stepped into the living room and was overjoyed to see her daughter peacefully snoozing the morning away. Yes, the girl had her mother's looks, but her personality was definitely influenced by her father.

It was approaching noon, so Mikuru nudged Natsume's shoulder in an attempt to wake her. "Natsume, it's time to get up."

Natsume groaned and turned away.

So Mikuru tried it again. "Natsume!" She nudged her daughter a bit harder. "I've got to get someone at the airport in a few hours. We need to eat and get ready!"

Another groan. Natsume gripped the blanket tighter.

Mikuru pulled the blanket back, rolling Natsume off the couch and plopping her down on the floor. Natsume looked up with a groggy, confused expression.

"MOM! I want to sleep!"

"I've got to go get Yuki in a few hours, remember?"

Natsume looked over at the clock. "It's that late?"

"Yep."

Natsume sat up, frowned, and shook her head clear. Then she reached for her cell phone. "I'll give Itsuki a call. He'll get a car for us. That'll give us more time to hang out!"

"Are you sure-"

Natsume waved Mikuru's objection away. "No problem, Mom. That guy's got so much money. Besides, he said he wanted to see me to find out how things went with our reunion."

Mikuru considered Natsume's offer. She was certain Yuki wouldn't mind if Koizumi and Natsume joined them. "Okay then, that sounds great!"

* * *

The long black Mercedes stretch limousine looked impressive as it pulled up to the entrance of Mikuru Asahina's apartment building. The chauffeur politely greeted the two gorgeous girls as they strolled from the entrance to the car. He pulled open the rear door and waited as the girls got inside.

"Big K!" Natsume yelled as she jumped into Itsuki Koizumi's lap and gave him a kiss on the lips.

"Hello Natsume," the flustered Itsuki Koizumi replied with his reserved smile.

"Hey Mom. You wanna know why I call Itsuki Big K?"

Mikuru blushed. "I think I know."

"It's because he has a really big… _heart!" _Natsume got off of Koizumi's lap and sat down next to him. "Thanks for picking us up, K!"

"I was happy to do so," Koizumi replied. "Especially since we're picking up our friend Miss Nagato." _Who is carrying your baby,_ Mikuru didn't add.

"You know, it's kind of strange," Mikuru told Koizumi. "I took Yuki to the airport yesterday and she said she was traveling to Tibet. I was able to get a peek at her itinerary and sure enough, after a connecting flight to Tokyo she had a direct flight to Lhasa Gonggar Airport. But then she was scheduled to come back to Tokyo on the very next flight! Six hours later _on the very same plane _after they cleaned it and refueled it! It's like she just went to pick up a package or something."

"I think I may be able to shed some light on the mystery," Koizumi said. "Tibet has often been referred to as a place where time stands still. Well, we have been monitoring the terrain in that region and are aware of a valley frequented by those associated with the Data Integration Thought Entity. Within this valley there exists an ancient city, undetectable by human means, where time literally _does stand still… _practically. We believe this is where Miss Nagato went."

Mikuru's training kicked in. "You mean there are temporal phenomenon in that region altering the passage of time relative to this time plane?" She remembered the three years she spent on the floor sleeping in Nagato's spare bedroom with Kyon. While time passed at a normal rate for Yuki, she and Kyon hadn't aged at all.

"Yes. Depending on which community Miss Nagato chose to stay in, tens to hundreds of years could have elapsed for her - while only hours elapsed in this reality."

Mikuru turned pale when she realized what that meant. Yuki living in a world that didn't acknowledge the passage of time... Then she started laughing.

Koizumi just nodded. "Yes, I am quite nervous," he said.

"What's up?" asked Natsume. "What's going on? You two seem to know something."

"Weren't you trained in these matters?" Koizumi asked. "Not that I really care mind you," he quickly added.

Natsume chuckled. "To be honest, I didn't pay much attention in class. When people found out I was Mikuru Asahina's daughter they all pretty much kissed my butt and let me do whatever I wanted." Natsume shrugged. "So I'm a bit spoiled. I admit it!"

Koizumi looked over at his flawed but honest girlfriend, then smiled and shook his head. Natsume groaned and playfully elbowed him in the gut. When Koizumi put his arm around her daughter, Mikuru sensed the strong connection between the two - and it gave her a warm feeling.

"I guess we'll all see in minute," Mikuru said, turning to look out the window as the airport approached. Their car pulled up at their curb near the baggage claim for Air Japan.

As the limousine idled, Koizumi checked his smart phone. "The plane is at the gate and it says passengers are deplaning."

"Cool," said Natsume. "That means we can all de-car and go welcome them back home them in a minute!"

"I don't think they'll have any luggage," Mikuru said.

"There they are..." Koizumi looked out the window with wide disbelieving eyes.

Yuki Nagato was walking toward them. A much taller, good-looking young man stood beside her. Though Yuki did indeed travel luggage-free, the young man was pulling two large full cases on rollers behind him.

By this time the chauffeur had their door open and the limousine's three passengers rushed out to greet the travelers. Mikuru ran over to Yuki first and met her with a big hug.

"It is good to see you again," Yuki said. "I missed your company."

"It's only been a day." Mikuru winked. Then she looked over at Itsuki, who was shaking the young man's hand with a very serious expression.

"Twenty years, three months and four days," Yuki replied.

Mikuru nodded knowingly. She released Yuki, then turned and looked over at the young man. There was an unmistakable resemblance to Itsuki Koizumi. Yes, he was a _very_ nice looking guy.

It took several moments for Mikuru to realize that this young man was staring at her with a look of awe, and had been for a while. When she lifted her head and looked him directly in his eyes, his face lit up with a warm gentle smile. A smile that melted Mikuru's heart.

"I'd like you to meet my son," Yuki said, "Anjin."

* * *

**Author's Notes: A different chapter, written in the third person from Mikuru's perspective. Sometimes your characters take you to a more serious place and you just have to go there with them.  
**

** So... will Koizumi end up with Mikuru's daughter while Mikuru ends up with Koizumi's son? Let's see. That would mean that Mikuru's father-in-law is also her son-in-law... and Koizumi's mother-in-law is also his daughter-in-law... _and there's no incest!_  
**

**Some readers might take issue with the boat load of time travel paradoxes I tossed into this chapter, but I'll try to posit a reasonable explanation in the next chapter. ****So stay tuned! - Al Ling  
**


	10. Time Finds a Way

**Author's Note: Shifting back to Kyon's POV now. This chapter includes a scene where we're viewing Mikuru's email exchange with her handlers from Kyon's perspective. Just a heads up for those haven't read or don't fully remember that part of the last chapter. - Al Ling**

* * *

**The Nudity of Haruhi Suzumiya**

by Alfonso Ling

**Chapter 10: Time Will Find a Way  
**

When I got up on Saturday, the day after the bridal shower, I had one of those feelings… One of those feelings that this was going to be a very memorable day.

First of all, I felt fine. I had a good night's rest and woke on my own. The clock read "10:30 AM" and nobody had called me on the cell phone with an emergency (SOS Brigade underlings); nobody had pulled off my blanket or pulled me onto the ground by my leg (my bratty little sister); and nobody had given me an early morning blow job (my sweet wife Haruhi - note that I would not have minded this disturbance at all).

After stretching a bit (while recollecting Haruhi's awesome wake-up call) I reached for my cell phone. It rang in my fingers. It was Haruhi.

"Guess what, Kyon?!" Haruhi sounded breathless, just barely able to contain herself.

I pressed the phone into my cheek. "You're pregnant?"

"No! Of course I'm not pregnant! This is no time to get pregnant!"

I shook my head and smiled. No, of course Haruhi wasn't pregnant. Nearly everybody else in the world was pregnant - thanks in large part to Haruhi Suzumiya - but not Haruhi herself. Why? _Because she didn't want to be pregnant! It wasn't the right time!_

So she wasn't. It was really that simple.

"But we might be getting closer!"

"You found us a place?"

"Yep! I just got off the phone with our new landlord." I imagined her posing proudly. "And it totally rocks! It's not a huge place, but I was thinking about what you said. About how we should start out small, you know, and inexpensive."

"So where is it?"

"Right above the Ling Chong Chinese Restaurant where we got engaged! Sam and Margie have this pretty big space right above the kitchen that they used to use as an office. But for the last few years they've let this accounting company handle their books so they never use it anymore. It's just turned into a storage place with a bunch of old tables and chairs and other junk stuffed into it. Sam said that if we clean it, we can live there to start. Isn't that awesome?"

I was a little surprised at Haruhi's news. I really hadn't given much thought to where we were going to live after we officially got married. I was really pleased to see that the wheels in Haruhi's head had been spinning - and that she listened to what I had said about the need to start small.

"How much is the rent?"

"No rent. It's not costing them anything. Sam said if we clean it out, we can stay there. He just hinted that it would be nice of us if we helped out around the restaurant once in a while. It really makes his day when I help him make the egg rolls cause his hands are getting stiff."

I thought about their restaurant and remembered the incredible food Haruhi prepared for us that fateful morning we got engaged. Haruhi's culinary skills were legendary so I could see why Sam would welcome her help.

"It's an office, though?"

"Yes, but it has a bathroom with a shower attached."

"Does it have a fridge. Or a stove?"

Haruhi shifted into disappointed teacher mode. "No, of course not, dummy. It's an office! Located on top of a kitchen! Why in the world would we need a fridge or a stove when they're right downstairs?"

It was then that I realized Haruhi had everything worked out in her mind and I didn't have to worry about a thing. But just in case…

"Can I see the room?"

"Oh sure, you're welcome to go there any time. I hope you don't mind if I stay home today, though. I have a splitting headache."

"Out late partying with the girls? Too much alcohol?"

"Now I know why I _hate_ that stuff!" Haruhi giggled. "But we really did have a great time. Someday I might even tell you the details. Of course, after that I'd have to kill you!"

I laughed as I imagined poor Haruhi with an ice pack held up to her head. Then, in my imagination, I shifted my gaze downward.

"What are you wearing right now?" I asked the ailing girl.

"I'm wearing _exactly _what you think I'm wearing," she replied with a smile in her voice. "Good-bye Kyon." And the line went dead.

Damn, I loved this girl.

* * *

I felt like a little bit of a jerk when I sat down behind my laptop. After all, I really hated hackers and the concept of my computer getting broken into by some nerd living in Korea. Yet there I was, sitting and watching some elses screen.

It was an exact copy of Mikuru Asahina's laptop computer screen; I was seeing exactly what she was seeing; every keystroke, every mouse movement. No, it wasn't because of my incredible hacking skills. I merely wished it to happen. And her screen appeared.

Now, the reason I was sitting here was quite mysterious. I was sitting here because I had received a note - _from myself!_

After rescuing Koizumi at the bridal shower, I went back to the SOS club room since I had promised Haruhi I'd be waiting for her there. I wasn't too surprised when Koizumi walked through the door instead. Koizumi told me that the girls had convinced Haruhi to go out on the town with them and that Haruhi had sent Koizumi as her messenger to let me know.

Of course, I was alright with that. I was glad Haruhi was going out to have fun. And it was sweet of her to send Koizumi over in person.

After sharing the party status update, Koizumi handed me a note. "Natsume told me to give this to you."

I looked at the door. "Is she with you?"

Koizumi nodded. "She's waiting in the hall. She says she really isn't allowed to see you yet."

"But she hugged Mikuru and me two months ago."

Koizumi shook his head and smiled. "Yes. It was a mistake…. but that's Natsume. She's not always that particular when it comes to following rules." He chuckled. "You'll find out."

"She sounds like a unique girl."

Koizumi nodded his head and smiled warmly. "That she is." He turned to go. Before he closed the door, Koizumi said, "Natsume says she'll be free Monday, if you'd like to hang out for a little while. Her words."

"Okay. Please tell her that I look forward to it."

I looked at the envelope. The writing on it looked strangely familiar. It said "Give this to Kyon right after Haruhi's bridal shower." After Koizumi shut the door, I ripped open the envelope.

Now I knew why the handwriting looked so familiar. It was mine! The note read:

**Hey Kyon. Yeah, this feels strange writing to myself, but you need to know something. Mikuru Asahina is going to receive an email late tomorrow afternoon from her handlers instructing her to abort your baby. That's all. You're me so I know you'll know how to handle it. - Kyon.**

Damn. What a crazy message to send myself. I looked at the note again. And then it hit me. What the fuck were these people thinking? They wanted Mikuru to kill Natsume? No, it couldn't be.

And no… it wasn't going to happen.

First of all, Natsume was just standing on the other side of that wall. Then again, time travel was a curious thing. What would happen if I didn't act? Was it possible Natsume would disappear? I've seen that happen in movies like "Back to the Future" and "Looper".

I crumpled up the note and tossed it into the trash can. What's the point in saving a note I wrote to myself, right? Then I pulled out my phone and texted Mikuru. I asked her if she'd have lunch with me. The note specified "late tomorrow afternoon" so I figured that would give me plenty of time. In her reply text message Mikuru told me she was free and would meet me.

After my conversation with Haruhi about our new home, I knew exactly where I wanted to go have lunch. Why not kill two birds with one stone, right?

Mikuru looked beautiful when she walked through the door of the Ling Chong Chinese Restaurant. She was the spitting image of her older self, the older Miss Asahina I'd met several times two years ago. I was a little surprised when the first question Mikuru asked me was about how she compared to her older self.

I was honest. I told Mikuru she was maybe a half inch shorter, but even that could have just been the heels. But, yes, she looked every bit as beautiful as her older self. She was Miss Universe beautiful. "Miss _Nude_ Universe even," I told her, to make her blush. Which she did. In that very cute way.

No, a life with this wonderful beautiful girl would not have been a consolation prize in any way. But I made my choice. And I was going to stick with it.

After some great food, and a somewhat strained conversation, I told Mikuru what to expect. And I told her _exactly_ how I thought she should handle it. When she asked me why I was so confident her handlers would cave to her demands, I told Mikuru that she wasn't just watching anybody. She was watching Haruhi Suzumiya. They would cave.

I would make sure of it.

Mikuru told me she had to accompany a friend to the airport. I didn't press her for the details. I _did _press her to remember the proper way to respond to that email, however.

So now I was sitting at my laptop, waiting for something to happen…

Suddenly the laptop screen came to life. I watched as Mikuru opened her email - and I got really angry as I read it with her. But then I watched her type exactly what I told her to type: "GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

I did a fist pump when she clicked on Send. Way to go Mikuru!

Now it was time for me to do my part. I closed my eyes and silently wished that everything would work out fine.

Look, I wasn't sure exactly how my new powers worked. I know how things happened for Haruhi and I had initiated a few simple miracles on my own. The procedure was easy. You wish for something - and it happens. Then you just act confident that everything will work out fine. And it does!

But then the reply came. It wasn't very positive. To her credit, Mikuru shared her feelings about their suggestion once again, repeating her reply.

Then another quick reply from her handlers… _a final warning!_

I was getting really pissed. Probably more upset than I can remember.

I stood up out of my chair and faced it. Then, as I pointed to the "final warning" email on my laptop screen, I shouted:

"_I WANT THE MOTHERFUCKER IN CHARGE TO SIT HIS ASS RIGHT DOWN HERE IN THIS CHAIR! AND I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT MOTHERFUCKING TIME PLANE THIS ASSHOLE IS COMING FROM!"_

Suddenly, a middle-aged bureaucrat dressed in a strange, possibly-futuristic style of clothing yet wearing thick prescription glasses, materialized in my seat.

"_LISTEN, ASSHOLE!" _I shouted at the stunned man as he looked around my room with wide frightened eyes. He was white as a sheet.

"You're Kyon," he said. He looked around again and looked at the laptop. "But how can you...? How can I… ?"

"You're damn right it's me!" I walked up to him, bent over, and got in his face. "Listen carefully. Mikuru Asahina is having our baby. It will _not_ be aborted!"

The man was clearly panicking now. "But that's impossible. It will create catastrophic problems with the timeline."

"Look. You're the time expert. Find a way to make it work. Work out some sort of compromise with Mikuru if you have to." I stepped back and held out my hand palm-facing-up. As I raised my hand, the bureaucrat started levitating toward the ceiling of my bedroom. I slowly started to make a fist. "If you _don't_ work things out, I'm going to explode your guts all over the walls of my bedroom." When I closed my hand slightly the lenses of his prescription glasses cracked.

By this time the man was nodding his head. "Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir."

Then I remembered the note I sent myself. It was still crumpled up in the waste basket in the club room. I waved my hand over my desk and it reappeared - in perfect condition and freshly sealed. I picked up the note and handed it up to the bureaucrat.

"You will make sure that nothing happens to my daughter," I told him. "And you will see to it that she gets this note." I looked him directly in the eye. "And you better hope she gets it, because this note will save your life."

The man nodded - and disappeared.

I sat back down at my laptop. I was pleased to see that Mikuru had told these people to go fuck themselves a third time. When the next message from her handlers read, "_Would you be willing to compromise?"_, I knew everything was going to work out fine. True, things hadn't gotten done by my closing my eyes and silently wishing for them to.

But they did get done.

* * *

The next morning I called Haruhi and told her that Sam had kindly given me a tour of the upstairs office. At first glance, I told her, it looked really rough. Dirty and messy.

"We're gonna change that today," Haruhi replied.

I suggested getting the rest of the SOS Brigade in on the clean-up but Haruhi assured me that the two of us could handle things fine on our own. Besides it was a Sunday. Everyone deserved their day off. The two of us arrived at the restaurant at 9 AM.

It took us about an hour to clear all of the broken chairs and tables out of the office as well as a few busted freezers, some bent up pots and pans, and a boat load of papers. Haruhi chose the best looking dining room table and chairs set and decided we would keep that to start. She wasn't sure where the rest of our furniture was going to come from, but she wasn't worried. People were getting rid of their nice used furniture every day for next to nothing and their stuff would be fine for us.

Finally, when the room was cleared out, I got to see how big this office space actually was. No, it wasn't the Taj Mahal, but it would more than suit our needs.

Haruhi stood between a water bucket with soap, a scrubbing brush and some sponges to her left, and a five gallon jug of white paint with a paint brush and a paint roller to her right. "Take your pick. Scrub or paint."

"I'll paint."

Haruhi nodded. Then she walked past me and locked the door. Though the deadbolt locked shut solid, she propped a tilted chair up against the door knob just in case.

"I wouldn't want them to get a heart attack," Haruhi said as she pulled off her t-shirt and stepped out of her shorts.

"You know we're not going to get anything done if you do that."

Haruhi, now wearing only her white shoes and ankle socks, walked up to me and planted a kiss on my lips. "There's no rush."

Though naked Haruhi spent a good part of the time bent over our new dining room table - and I spent a good amount of time running down to the kitchen for food to replenish my system - we managed to get everything cleaned and painted before we left.

It was around 8PM when we ended our project by testing out the shower together. It was a tight fit, but the water was nice and hot. We decided to part ways at the restaurant's entrance. Haruhi had some shopping she needed to do and I had somewhere I wanted to go as well.

After we kissed each other goodnight, I asked her a question. "Has anyone ever told you how hot you look when you're on your knees scrubbing the baseboard?" I asked because I had "accidentally" run the paint roller over her bare bottom while she was doing that.

(And let me add, it was totally worth getting a bucket of soapy water dumped over my head!)

I was a little surprised when Haruhi, with a cute smile, blushed brightly as she rubbed her bum. "You're lucky we used a water-based paint." She smacked me on the shoulder. "Idiot!"

* * *

All this time travel stuff was frying my mind. So I resolved to find out once and for all how it all worked. My go-to person for this was, naturally, Yuki Nagato. That's where I went after I left the restaurant.

I was fairly confident that when I knocked on the door of apartment 708, Yuki would answer. And she did. After opening the door for me, she didn't say a word. She just turned and walked to her living room.

I took off my shoes and followed her in.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked me.

"Sure," I replied.

She set a cup down in front of me and sat opposite me at her table. I looked down at her belly. It was the 900 pound gorilla in the room. So I had to ask. "How is your baby doing?"

"My son Anjin is exploring the town with Mikuru Asahina."

"Huh?!" I nearly fell off of my pillow.

"Yes. She kindly offered to show him around. They seem quite enamoured with each other."

"Wow. How old is he?" I asked the new mother.

"He is 18.1 to 20.4 solar years old."

"Huh?" I really wasn't getting this. Her son was now a grown man?

"I have spent portions of the last two days in a city located within a specially constructed plasma-bounded conduit linking two black holes. This city, named Nanji, is located in the mountainous regions of Tibet. Though Nanji has an area exceeding one hundred square miles, it is invisible to any and all currently available human detection technologies."

"Wait," I said. "I actually remember some of this from my physics class. When you're in or near a black hole doesn't a clock on the outside look like it's moving more slowly because of the extreme gravitational effects?"

Yuki nodded. "That is correct."

"So the Data Integration Thought Entity developed a way to create such a place? A place where the time passes differently from the way it passes here?"

"The technology was created by an alien race that name themselves Ergs. They understood that the ultimate end of the universe was heat death, the point where all matter reaches a state of thermodynamic equilibrium. This was a way for these life forms, whose bodies do not experience cell death, to maximize the amount of available time, to exist. Earth is one of their more popular vacation spots."

"An alien vacation city? It sounds to me like you got to spend some quality time in a really nice place."

Yuki tilted her head. "It did not suck."

"So how much time did you spend there, in Nanji?"

"Twenty years, three months, and four days."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. My internal clock precisely measures the passage of time local to me. I know that twenty years, three months, four days, six hours, twelve minutes, and twenty-three seconds passed for me between my plane's departure and its arrival back at the airport."

"So you got really big, round and fat, and then you had your baby there?" I chuckled when I pictured a very pregnant Yuki.

Yuki furled her eyebrows. Then she nodded.

"So why doesn't your son know his exact age like you do?"

"My son is fully human and is not equipped with the same type of clock. His clock resembles your internal clock. Since he was not always in my company, I can not determine his exact biological age as the rate of time passage in Nanji is dependant on a person's proximity to the city's borders. I chose to return when I was 100.5% certain he was an adult, however."

"I see. Hence the lower 18.1 bracket." I shrugged. "Well that's not really so bad if you think about it. Actually it's quite a good thing."

Yuki tilted her head again and asked, "Why?"

"It's mostly psychological I guess. From Koizumi's point of view, it would be nice to be older than your son, even if only a few months older. For Mikuru it would be nicer if the guy she was dating was older, even if only a few months older. So no one could accuse her of robbing the cradle. It's just one of those things."

"I understand."

"So Anjin's official birthday was yesterday?"

Yuki nodded.

"Even though the day was probably about a decade long for him?"

Yuki nodded.

I just shook my head. "Yuki. All this time travel stuff lately has been boggling my brain. Can you help me make sense of it?"

I thought I saw Yuki chuckle before she replied, "I spent much of my time in Nanji as the guest of the Erg city's mayor, Ergoemos, with whom I developed a close relationship. He often sought my opinions on the matter of time travel as well. I will tell you what I told him: 'I can try'. But I, too, am learning more about the subject each day."

"Okay, here are two questions I have. Is Mikuru Asahina's future predetermined? And if Mikuru has an abortion, would Natsume disappear?"

"Mikuru gave birth yesterday," Yuki said.

"No shit?" I looked up at the ceiling. Damn. Spend the day cleaning out an office with a gorgeous naked girl and you can miss a lot of news!

"I think you know what I'm asking though, don't you?"

Yuki nodded. Then she spoke.

"I have come to believe that time is… flexible. Almost... resilient."

"Huh? It's sounding like you think that time has a mind of its own."

"I believe time manages temporal disturbances, visitors from the future for example, the same way a mountain stream handles an obstruction thrown into it. There is a disturbance directly after the obstruction, but the water meets up again, the flow is healed, the further we move away from it, until all signs of the disturbance disappear."

What she said made sense. Still… "What if someone dies? Wouldn't that screw up someone's family tree bigtime?"

"The natives who drew on the walls of the cave on Tsuruya's hill believed that every sentient life is matched with a soul. Though the body is killed, the soul will find a way to its proper destiny. The family tree will be healed. As will every other aspect of the timeline."

"How would that work?"

"Allow me to posit an example. Imagine that a young time traveler assigned to observe an ancient Japanese ruler is accidentally killed during a failed assassination attempt on that ruler. The girl destined to be with this man would be heartbroken. Yet it is conceivable that this man's soul could return in another vessel, and the lovers could reunite, healing the flow of time."

"Is that really possible though?" I asked. "It sounds like a long shot to me."

"I believe," replied Yuki, "that time always finds a way."


End file.
